Chapter Ten
Six Years Ago
Last night Nobi had the most emotionally riveting and draining experience of her life. So standing here, at another ball, she almost felt too raw to be in attendance. But she remained vigilant because she had an important task to complete tonight.
Not like last night’s incident. The awkwardness she felt almost surpassed the height of any other emotion she had ever felt…
except…except that she had been wrapped in Chris’s arms. With his hands over hers.
Those soft, warm hands insulating her from something she wasn’t ready to know.
His chest offering her a hiding place. His body a physical protection for her.
And that emotion, of being in his arms…that feeling of being shielded… guarded…treasured…
That was the apex of any emotional experience she had ever had.
She cherished the memory. Some men might have laughed at her naivety. Some might have teased her. Some might have coaxed her into learning, saying she couldn’t hide under a rock forever. And she didn’t want to live in her shelter forever…that was true. But she enjoyed her safety. Her comfort.
Though she wanted to know about the actions of a man with a woman, she hadn’t been ready last night.
She didn’t want it sprung on her. It terrified her to be put in that situation.
So the fact that Chris was the ultimate gentleman, showing her respect and compassion, had melted her heart toward him even more.
There was something growing between them, even in only their two short encounters.
They had an unspoken instinct to protect each other.
Was it that they were both very conscientious people and would have acted that way with anyone?
It was impossible to say…yet, Nobi didn’t think that was the full explanation.
There was a chemistry that came to life when she was around him.
And though she didn’t want to admit that, because clearly he wasn’t the man she was going to marry, in all good conscious, she couldn’t deny it.
He wanted adventure. She wanted to settle.
Their goals in life were in direct conflict.
And when she stopped to think about it, which she did a fair bit, she wanted him to live his dreams. She would never be the type of wife to hold her husband back from pursuing everything he wanted out of life.
That’s why it was so important that they want the same things in life.
If they both had the same desires, the same vision, it would be the easiest thing in the world to support him, encourage him, push him.
But the ultimate sigh was still wedged in her chest. Other than his entire outlook on life…he was perfect.
So perhaps…perhaps that made him perfect for something else.
And just perhaps…that made her ready for the something she hadn’t been ready for before.
So far, the two encounters with Chris had been by chance. Though really, the second one she couldn’t help but look around for him while she waited at the pond. She would be a liar if she said she didn’t hope to see him.
But if she wanted a third encounter—which she did—then she wanted to make sure it happened with absolute certainty.
And there were at least two very important reasons for that. One, she wanted to see him again. Just be around him. Talk to him. Two, she didn’t want to be awkward about…sexual…acts anymore.
Chris was a safe place. Perhaps one of the safest she could have devised.
He was respectful. Honest. And most significantly, protective.
If she asked him for a favor, he would say yes, and he would do everything in his power to protect her.
She knew that instinctively. No, there was a greater depth of knowledge than instinct. It was a soul-knowing.
And despite the blood pumping massive loads through her veins, she was here to ask him a favor. A very specific favor.
So she needed to be here at this ball tonight, find him, and sneak out again together.
Her eyes darted around the room, catching sight of the candlelight flickering on faces and shimmering against the gowns. None of that mattered except to find one face.
There he was. In the company of three friends, he sipped a drink. He must have felt her eyes on him because he looked up at her over the rim of his glass.
A half smirk lifted his lips as his gaze seared itself into her brain.
Those eyes. Serene blue eyes. The kind of seaside blue that invited a person in for a swim. Mmm…better, the warm blue of a bath that promised comfort and relaxation.
Only, she probably couldn’t see that blue from her vantage point. But she could still picture it as if he were standing right in front of her.
And then he was right in front of her. Rather, just to the side of her, pretending to grab another drink even though his current glass was still half full. He wouldn’t just walk up to her in a ballroom, having not been properly introduced to her yet.
This was her chance.
“I want to see you again,” she breathed softly. When he didn’t move, she wasn’t sure if he heard her. She tried again behind her fan. “C-can I see you again? Tonight? In the garden?”
“There’s a fountain by the rose garden. Fifteen minutes.” His raspy voice tickled over her skin as she nodded.
When he turned to leave, she wasn’t sure if she imagined the whole thing.
His body language gave away nothing. Only the almost imperceptible nod he gave her when he turned back around was confirmation of the conversation she had just had.
That of planning a tryst. Well…not exactly. Or at least…not that he knew of.
Fifteen minutes had never ticked by so slowly. She told her sisters the code word and tried not to run to the garden. It took all her willpower to place toe and heel on the ground as she discreetly slipped out of the room.
She easily found the rose garden by following the scent in the air. From there, she could see the fountain and a stone bench. There were hedges offering many places for a couple to conceal themselves.
Her heart was galloping wildly in her chest as she waited for him. Was she too eager? Yes. Did she care? No. But had she been reckless? Had anyone seen her? She could only hope that her senses hadn’t entirely abandoned her.
She lowered herself to the stone bench, preparing herself to wait. But only a second passed before she heard a whisper calling her name, “Nobi?”
Angling herself on the bench, she turned to look to the sound. Chris emerged from behind one of the hedges, and she couldn’t stop the grin from splitting her cheeks. Her heart fluttered like a butterfly emerging from a cocoon.
She watched him step toward her. Thick thighs threatened to bust the seams of his breeches. His broad shoulders cut the finest figure in his dark coat. She shouldn’t be thinking these thoughts of him, but she didn’t conjure them, they just floated to the forefront.
“I really wanted to see.”
“I’m glad you did.” He lifted his arm as if to touch her, but that must have been wistful thinking, because his hand continued upward to brush through his hair. “I was afraid our last encounter might have dissuaded you from your solo jaunts into the gardens.”
“Yes, about that.” She tugged on the fan hanging from her wrist to hide the slight shake in her arms. Maybe if she stood, she could disguise the waves of energy crashing down upon her.
Rising to her feet, she looked up into his eyes, and she could see a slight furrow of concern wrought on his face. “I wanted to talk about it.”
“Oh?”
“Well, you see…erm…that is,” she dropped her chin to her chest, “you must know I’m a…
well…you know, like most ladies before marriage…
I’m a…” She couldn’t bring herself to say it.
She felt so foolish. If she couldn’t even bring herself to say the word virgin to him, how on earth was she going to ask him for that favor?
A soft touch to her chin prompted her to look up at his face. “A virgin?” he supplied.
She could only nod.
“I suspected that based on your response to the situation.”
“I’m sorry,” she said, trying to pull her chin from his fingers. And she would have succeeded if his hand hadn’t softly cupped her jaw instead.
“Why are you sorry?”
“I don’t know.” And that was true. She was flustered beyond belief with him this close to her. Touching her. For no purpose other than…what? She couldn’t analyze the situation.
“Don’t be sorry, Nobi.” He held her gaze. “Don’t apologize for being who you are.”
“I think…you’re right. I don’t want to apologize for being myself.” His steady regard bolstered her confidence. He was a safe place. She reminded herself. “That night was difficult for me.”
“I understand.”
“Well, perhaps you understand part of it, but I’d like to explain myself.”
“Of course.” He pulled his hand from her jaw, and she felt the loss all too keenly. He motioned to the stone bench. “Let’s sit.”
When they sat, his thigh was a solid wall against hers, and she could feel the heat through the layers. She wanted nothing more than to feel more of him. But she needed to go slow and steady.
“That night was difficult because it was uncomfortable for me to witness that,” her voice dropped to a whisper, “for the first time.”
Chancing a glance up at him, she only caught him nodding in understanding.
“And well, I wasn’t ready for that experience. At least, not last night.”
This time when she caught his visage, she saw his eyes widen slightly.
When he didn’t say anything, she continued on.
It was best that he said nothing. This way she could explain everything without faltering.
If he agreed to her favor, then all would be well.
And if he refused, well, all would still be well.
She just wouldn’t rendezvous in dark gardens for a while.