Chapter 22
Chapter Twenty-Two
“Must we attend Lady Lister’s dinner party?” Chastity stood at the open door of the breakfast room; she held the schedule for their social events for the next week in one hand. Her other hand was braced against her waist.
Helena sighed. She detected another argument coming.
Recently, every conversation with Chastity seemed to end in an argument.
Her sister had not just grown distant and silent; she had also become short-tempered and argumentative.
Helena would have preferred the troublesome Chastity of a few years ago, for that sister she could somewhat predict.
And that Chastity did not resent her as this one did.
She put down her fork and turned towards her, the breakfast that she had just started, rendered forgotten. Across the dining table, Faith and Grace turned to look at Chastity as well.
“You know we must, Chastity,” Helena said. We can hardly refuse her invitation. Lady Lister is Mama’s cousin.”
“But it shall be mostly people her age that will be in attendance,” Chastity replied. “This is my season; the events I go to should be for me. What is the sense of going at all? It shall be a waste of time!”
“The sense is that Lady Lister is a family connection.”
“But it is on a Wednesday night.”
Ah. The same night as Almack’s Wednesday Night Balls. Now I see.
Helena ran the timings in her head.
“If we leave early from Lady Lister’s dinner party, we can still make it to Almack’s for the Wednesday Night Ball. How is that?” she told Chastity with a placating smile.
“We shall be very late.”
“Well, yes, but there will still be enough time to enjoy the ball.”
“Barely,” Chastity said, jutting her chin.
“Chastity, that is the best I can do without giving affront to Lady Lister,” Helena said wearily. “It will have to do.”
Chastity sniffed.
“It seems that I have no choice but to accept.”
Then, without another word, Chastity walked off, leaving her sisters silent in her wake.
“This is the third time in two days that I have wanted to throttle her,” Faith said with a disgusted look at the space Chastity vacated. “By your leave, Helena, I shall do it now!”
Faith started to rise, and Helena, half laughing, reached over and stayed her.
“I shall thank you for doing no such thing to your sister.”
“She’s always so short with everyone now,” Grace complained. “I just asked her yesterday if she saw the number of invitations on the foyer table, and she told me that there was no use to her seeing them, then she stalked off as if I had said a very bad thing.”
“My dears, you must be patient with Chastity. The pressures of the London season for young ladies are not a slight matter. It is getting to her, I think,” Helena said placatingly. “We must stretch our patience a little more. When it is your turn, you shall see.”
“I shall never be that surly,” Grace vowed. “Especially not to you, Helena.”
“Grace wants new ribbons to trim her blue bonnet,” Faith said drolly.
Helena laughed aloud at her sisters. She was very glad that these two at least still saw her as an ally and not as an enemy. And she fervently hoped that it would remain such.
With her two youngest sisters, Helena pretended that everything was in order, that she was still capable of handling Chastity.
“I shall talk to Chastity,” Helena said.
“You already tried to reach out to her,” Faith replied. “She keeps answering with one-syllable words. How do you plan to do so now?”
It was true, Helena felt that nothing she did seemed to help; in fact, Chastity only seemed to become more irritated at her. Neither Faith or Chastity’s efforts did any good.
There was a moment when Helena had considered asking her mother for help, but she knew that would not be a very good idea. And of course, she did not want to appear as if she could not handle the responsibility. She was barely handling it now. She let out a long sigh.
“I am not yet quite sure.” Helena’s brows furrowed. “But this can go on no longer.”
It had been three days since the night she went to Matteo’s townhouse.
That night. She felt heat run through her as she recalled how it had ended.
Her heart had felt like it would explode.
So many feelings coursed through her all at once.
Helena had felt that if she did not leave then, she would never be able to go through with her decision.
But for those few seconds she stayed, it was as if he held her in thrall. For those few seconds, Helena had given him her heart and, indeed, it felt like she had claimed his.
Three days since he had kissed her, or she had kissed him. She was not sure who started it, but Helena was very sure that they had both wanted the kiss. Her cheeks felt hot.
Looking at her reflection in her vanity mirror, she touched her lips.
She had always wondered what it would feel like to be kissed. When they were younger, Celine, Dahlia, and she had giggled over the topic of kisses, imagining their first time and what it would feel like.
“I think that it shall be disgusting,” Celine had declared, her upper lip curled in revulsion.
“What do you mean? No, I think it shall be soft, and warm, and utterly romantic!” Dahlia had said dreamily.
“What about you, Helena, what do you think?” Celine had asked her.
“I think that it shall be nice.”
“Nice?” Dahlia had asked. “That is it? Nice?”
“Well, yes. Nice.”
“A kitten is nice.” Celine laughed.
Helena chuckled at the memory.
Well, it was nice. It was warm and soft. So, Celine was not very far off. Kittens are warm and soft too.
Laughing silently at herself, Helena shook her head.
Now married, Celine and Dahlia never spoke of kisses—nor of intimacy with men. Perhaps between the two of them, they did, for she did hear that married women spoke more freely of marital acts with other married women. Perhaps had she asked them, they would have answered her.
But now she no longer needed to ask them. Now she knew what it felt like to be kissed by a man. By a man such as Matteo Castor.
This evening, she would see him again for the first time since they kissed. The Spring Musicale was the first of the two remaining social events that they would attend as a betrothed couple.
A myriad of feelings swirled through her at the thought of seeing him again, and at the thought that their time together was coming to an end. Each as weighty as the next.
Her thoughts were interrupted at the sound of her bedroom door opening. Her lady’s maid curtsied upon entering, then went directly to her.
“May I begin, m’lady?”
“Yes, thank you, Sally.”
She picked up the brush and started with Helena’s hair.
“Have you finished with Chastity’s preparations?”
“Yes, m’lady.”
Helena thought she detected a sigh in her answer.
“Sally?”
“Yes, m’lady?”
“How have you been getting on with Chastity lately? She has been somewhat more demanding of your assistance as of late.”
Helena had noticed that her sister had become very dependent on Sally, indeed, requesting her help or company more than she used to.
On every available afternoon, Chastity and Sally went for a walk. Whenever Helena had volunteered to accompany her, Chastity would decline the offer, stating that she knew how busy Helena was.
“Oh!”
Sally dropped the brush. She bent down and hastily picked it up.
“‘Tis- ‘tis nothing that I cannot perform, my lady. I am happy to be of service to Lady Chastity.”
Sally wiped her hands on her apron and avoided her mistress’s gaze.
Helena observed her nervous demeanor and had an inkling of what might have caused it. Cautiously, she decided to prod.
“I am at least glad that Chastity gets her exercise from your walks. And they appear to do her good, for upon returning from your walks, she is always in an exceptionally fine mood.”
Sally gulped and only nodded.
She let Sally get on with her work for a while. When her hair was arranged, Helena looked at her lady’s maid’s handiwork in the mirror.
“Thank you, Sally. My hair looks very nice indeed.”
Sally curtsied.
“Sally,” Helena said as the lady’s maid started arranging the vanity. “We all have Chastity’s best interests at heart.”
Helena waited for Sally to look at her. When she did, she continued.
“You will tell me if anything untoward is happening, will you not?”
Sally bit her lip. She clasped her hands behind her and nodded.
“Thank you.”
When she was alone, Helena gave in to the worry that Sally’s reactions had triggered in her. Was Chastity meeting with a man? It seemed that she was. This was getting out of hand; indeed, it was becoming dangerous for her sister.
Matteo was immensely relieved that they were required to stay silent for most of the musicale. The heaviness that loomed over Matteo and Helena seemed to stretch time. Every second felt like an hour.
I had not been that bad in the carriage when Matteo had fetched them from Huntington House, for Chastity was with them.
In front of her, they maintained a normal facade.
Neither was it so bad when they arrived at the Spring Musical.
So long as there were other people to speak to, Matteo and Helena could manage well.
It was when the program had started, and Chastity had left them to join her friends, that the awkwardness of their situation began to weigh on both of them.
“Shall we sit?” Helena asked Matteo after an uncomfortable silence.
“Of course,” Matteo offered her his arm. “Where would you like to sit?”
“Wherever you prefer, Your Grace.”
“Lady’s choice, my lady.”
“Anywhere is fine, really.”
In the end, they chose the row that was directly where they stood.
At another time, Matteo would have laughed, for their seats were very poorly chosen.
Beside the main aisle, other guests kept passing them in going to and on leaving their seats.
Matteo, being a tall man—therefore having long legs—had to repeatedly stand in order to let people pass by.