Chapter 9 #2
Joseph’s eyes slid away. “It doesn’t. I am simply asking because it is my duty to.”
“Your duty?” She didn’t believe him. She didn’t know what the true reason was, but she was certain that it wasn’t that. “How proper of you, Joseph. Is it your duty to follow me to the ladies’ room if I required a bit of reprieve?”
His jaw ticked. “Of course not.”
“What about if I were to make my way to the refreshments table for a slice of cake? Do I need to inform you of that as well?”
“Forgive me for caring about your whereabouts,” he snapped, and for some reason, Catriona nearly lost her control of her amusement. “You may do as you wish. I’m sure that is what you are used to doing anyway.”
“You’re right; it is,” she confirmed with a nod.
Then she turned and walked away. Catriona took a grand total of three steps before she swiveled back to him.
She caught him looking, but he quickly averted his eyes.
“But,” she added, fighting her smile, “if you truly wish to know, I wish to get a bit of fresh air, so I will be on the veranda.”
Joseph didn’t answer her. He didn’t even look at her. He only nodded brusquely. But for some reason, Catriona wasn’t bothered by his cold demeanor. In fact, she was intrigued by it.
It likely had much to do with the past few hours.
He remained fixed to her side, even when she’d told him that he had no reason to stay there and that she would be quite fine on her own.
He’d simply said, “I want to be here” and left it at that.
Anyone wishing to speak with him had to approach, and Joseph made it a point to include her in every conversation.
He clearly wasn’t as glacial as he’d like to make her believe.
She would have been happy to linger in the background.
Catriona was used to it, had practiced doing so many times in her head in preparation of the Season.
But now that she was making her way to the veranda alone, she felt…
odd. As if she was missing something. Surely she hadn’t grown so accustomed to Joseph’s presence already?
The veranda was empty, a welcoming sight that invited her with a fresh gust of wind.
She tucked herself into the corner, leaning against the wall and staring up at the sky.
The ballroom was still close enough for her to hear the music and chatter, but she was far enough away to feel truly alone.
And alone, she felt she could finally allow her thoughts to roam free.
“Here she is,” came a crooning voice. Cassandra Pottinger came into view, her dark-haired lackey right next to her. “Came for a bit of fresh air, did you?”
Catriona didn’t bother holding back her sigh, not caring if she didn’t seem particularly ladylike when she did. “And to be alone, if you do not mind.”
“Well, we do,” Belinda spoke up. Unlike Cassandra, who wore a cruel smile on her pretty face, Belinda was scowling at her as if Catriona had stepped on her favorite pair of slippers. “We came to ask you about the Duke of Irvin.”
And she knew exactly what they wanted to ask. It didn’t take a genius to know that they had wanted the Duke for themselves, judging by how they’d acted at Lady Henderson’s ball. “Anything you wish to ask me, you can ask him. I am not in the mood for it.”
“I doubt His Grace will be willing to tell us how you have blackmailed him into agreeing to marry you,” Cassandra said, her smile bordering on a sneer.
“If you think I care to blackmail anyone into marriage, you give me far too much credit.”
“And you give yourself far too much credit thinking you are good enough to marry the Duke of Irvin,” Belinda snapped.
Catriona raised a brow at her. “And let me guess. You are?”
Belinda pulled her shoulders back and raised her chin. “I was talking about Cassandra.”
Catriona only looked at Cassandra and said nothing.
Her smile slowly began to slip. “I cannot see what the Duke could possibly see in someone like you. He would be much better suited to a lady of my stature, who could not only give him a sizable dowry but would be able to step into the place of a duchess with ease.”
“Does she even have a dowry?” Belinda wondered aloud, and they both dissolved into giggles.
Catriona turned, trying to ignore them. She tried to pretend that their words weren’t poking that sensitive spot she’d been trying to ignore.
“Would you look at her?” Cassandra said to Belinda. “She and her sisters are such disgraces. It is no wonder no one wishes to invite the three of them anywhere. They are a stain on society.”
“And now she has blackmailed the Duke into marrying her. Goodness, Cassandra, we must save him.”
“We must! Should we call for the constable? I’m sure they will believe us even if we cannot find the proof. One look at her will say it all.”
“I think you may be right about that.”
They laughed at their own horrid comments. Catriona still pretended they weren’t there, panic rising in her when she felt her throat begin to burn with tears. She couldn’t cry in front of them. She couldn’t let them know that their words were getting to her.
“And look at her dress!” Belinda went on. “You would think—”
“You would think what, miss?”
Belinda squeaked in surprise at Joseph’s sudden appearance. Both girls twisted to face him while Catriona twisted away, hating that he’d decided to appear just when she lost control of her tears.
“Your Grace!” Cassandra gasped.
Catriona heard his footsteps grow closer.
And when he spoke, she didn’t have to look to know that the steel in his voice was also set in his face.
“Please continue. You were about to make a comment about my betrothed’s choice to use tartan.
I’m sure whatever you wished to say about that will apply to the cravat around my neck, so I am interested to hear. ”
“I-I was going to say that it was quite a bold choice, Your Grace,” Belinda stammered. “But in a good way!”
“Is that so? What else were you saying?”
“P-pardon me?”
“Nothing, Your Grace,” Cassandra chimed in. “We only wished to congratulate Miss Wallace on her betrothal. Now, if you’d excuse us…”
They hurried away, their footsteps fading quickly. Catriona waited to hear Joseph’s footsteps fade as well. She prayed that he would leave. But the silence that followed their departure was so heavy that she knew that he was still standing her.
“I thought I would come and check on you,” he spoke at last, his voice soft. “It is a good thing that I did.”
She said nothing. She was holding her breath to hold in her sob and knew that if she dared to speak, her voice would crack.
To her horror, he stepped closer. “Catriona?”
“I’m fine,” she managed to push out. “Thank you.”
His hand touched her elbow, sending thrills through her body. She was wholly unprepared for when he gripped her suddenly and twirled her around.
Catriona let out a gasp of surprise, and the tears she’d been holding in went streaking down her cheeks. For a few seconds, they just stared at each other. His face hardened as he took her in, but the grip on her elbow eased.
She didn’t know what do to. She didn’t like crying in front of others, didn’t like it when her heart and her mind were not aligned.
Even when her father died, Catriona had made sure to wait until she was alone in her chambers to grieve.
Joseph witnessing her like this felt like a betrayal to herself.
But she didn’t move. She waited, held her breath. She knew she should move away and end this maddening and humiliating stare-down, but she wanted to see what he would say.
He didn’t say anything. He reached out to wipe her cheeks instead. She was caught off guard by how gentle his touch was.
“They aren’t worth it,” he murmured softly.
Catriona didn’t think twice about her next words. Later, she would regret saying them, she knew. She would be mortified to recall being this vulnerable with her innermost insecurities. But in this moment, she didn’t care.
“But they were right,” she whispered.
Joseph shook his head. “They know nothing. They’re idiots, plain and simple. You should not waste your time on their jealousy.”
She was quite aware of the fact that his hand was still holding her cheek. “I’m sure others are saying the same thing.”
“Their opinions don’t matter either.”
“As much as I would like to believe that, you and I both know that is not the truth.”
“The only thing I know to be true is that you are too beautiful, too intelligent, and too strong-willed to let their words upset you.”
Her heart thudded against her chest. Catriona stared into his eyes, seemingly so dark that they could almost be black. She longed to see the sincerity, to know that he meant those words even if they weren’t really true.
She saw it, and she didn’t know what to make of it.
Then she saw his gaze fall, resting on her lips.
She parted them on instinct, and that hand against her cheek tightened slightly.
Catriona felt a pull she’d never experienced before, felt her very core being drawn to the man before her.
The hurtful words fell to the wayside, her tears forgotten.
It was only she and he under the canopy of stars.
Someone laughed nearby, the sharp sound ringing out between them. Catriona quickly stepped back.
“I should return to the ballroom,” she said, not meeting his eyes. “It is inappropriate of us to be alone.”
“Catriona,” he began, but she didn’t give him the chance to finish. She left, racing away from her future husband, hoping to put enough distance between her and the conflicting emotions he stirred within her.