Chapter 10 #2
Joseph’s lips twitched. “Thank you,” he said dryly. “Pretend that I am the son of a duke, wishing to gain the favor of your husband. But your husband is away when he suddenly appears for a visit.”
“I don’t see how this could help.”
“Just play along, and you will understand.” He sat, crossing a leg. Catriona slowly did the same, watching in amazement as his normally aloof face morphed into a haughty one.
“When did you say His Grace will be returning?” he asked, eyes drifting idly around the room.
Catriona pulled her shoulders back, folding her hands in her lap. She ignored the tremor of nervousness that immediately seized her. “He will be returning in three days’ time.”
“Three days.” Joseph sighed heavily. “That’s a long time. I was hoping to speak with him today about an important matter.”
“Perhaps you could let me know the purpose of your visit, and I shall make him aware of it when he returns.”
Joseph looked her up and down. Catriona immediately stiffened, knowing she had been deemed unworthy. “I don’t see how you could help. This is not really a matter that should involve a woman since it’s about the dukedom.”
“You contradict yourself, My Lord. As the Duchess of Irvin, I do not see why such matters would not concern me.”
“Are you not better suited to throwing balls?” he asked incredulously. “I will simply wait until he has returned.”
Without warning, he got up and made his way out of the room, leaving Catriona gaping after him. The click of the door closing sent her anger through the room but shock at his blatant dismissal kept her sitting there.
A second later, Joseph re-entered. One look at his face told her that he’d shed his previous persona and was back to his normal self.
“That was horrible,” he told her as he made his way back to the seat.
“You were horrible!” she protested. “I couldn’t believe you could be so rude.”
“Which was my intention. Just because you are the new Duchess of Irvin doesn’t mean you will naturally command the respect that your position deserves.
Especially if others are of the predisposition that you are not suited for the role in the first place.
The way you responded to my callous words just now shows that even you do not understand your worth. ”
“So, you taunted me on purpose,” she grumbled.
“I did. And you are doing a terrible job of hiding your anger.”
Catriona loosened the fist she’d made, trying to let some of her fury out with a deep breath. “How should I have responded then? Surely you did not expect me to beg you to stay?”
“There is no right answer that I can give you. But by the end, I should not have felt as if I had more power than the mistress of the household. You should have put me in my place with the utmost grace.” Joseph inclined his head as he regarded her.
“And I know you have it in you. You were more than capable of commanding the situation when you thought I was going to kidnap my own daughter.”
“You forgave me for that,” she pointed out.
That shadow of a smile appeared. “That I did.”
She sighed. “Well then let’s try again. I’m not sure I know how to put it into practice, but I may as well try.”
Joseph nodded and transformed once more. She blinked, still a little taken aback at how easily he could slip into this role. It made her wonder who he had been before he inherited the dukedom, before he was married, before Dorothea. Who had Joseph Leeway been when he could have smiled more easily?
“Well?” he said. “When do I expect him back?”
Catriona suddenly wished she had a cup of tea in her hand. Taking a sip would have calmed her, giving her time to think about the response, to control the situation.
“Why do you wish to know?” she asked calmly.
Irritation flashed in his eyes. “I just told you that I have matters to discuss with him. Matters that do not concern you.”
“Then I suppose this conversation is over, isn’t it? I shall have Francis escort you out.”
“You cannot do that. At least not until you’ve told me—”
“Can’t I?” Catriona raised a brow, letting a tiny humorless smile lift her lips. “You forget yourself, My Lord. This is my house. I can do whatever I please, which includes escorting you from my home if you insist on being rude.”
He narrowed his eyes, staring at her for a long moment before he said, “Forgive me. It was not my intention to be rude. I only wished to know when he will be returning so that I may better plan my days.”
“Apology accepted, My Lord. Now what did you say this was in regards to?”
Joseph let out a breath of frustration as his stare turned into a glare. Catriona met it unflinchingly. And then he blinked, nodding, returning to himself.
“Better. Much better. There is still room for improvement, but it is markedly better than before.”
“What room for improvement are you talking about?”
“You do not need to ask him once more what he wished to talk about. I am the one asking for your assistance, even if I do it with a healthy measure of misogyny. My motivations should be inconsequential to you.”
“Ah, I see.” She hadn’t even thought about it that way. God, how could she have possibly thought that she was cut out for this?
“Those ladies last night were idiots.”
Catriona’s heart skipped a beat. She avoided his, turning her head to face the window instead. “You don’t have to make me feel better, Joseph.”
“I only wish to make sure that you are not still thinking about it. That is the reason you wanted this session, is it not?”
She said nothing which was enough of an answer for him.
“Don’t waste time or energy thinking about them a moment longer,” he urged. “You will become the Duchess of Irvin tomorrow. They are not worth it.”
“I know.” She knew. She understood. But putting it into practice, ridding her mind of her insecure thoughts, was easier said than done.
But one thing she did know is that she was heading down a slippery slope with Joseph. She was warming to him far too quickly, far too deeply. If she wasn’t careful, the opinion of the ton wouldn’t be the only thing weighing on her.
“Thank you for taking the time to see me, Joseph,” she said as she stood. “Please, take care on your way home.”
She turned away but not before she saw the flash of surprise on his face. She took two steps before he was on his feet, seizing her wrist and twirling her to face him. He searched her face, eyebrows knitted together.
“What’s wrong?”
“It’s nothing.” She tried to pull away, but he wouldn’t allow it.
“You’re a bad liar.” Joseph pulled her closer, studying her eyes as if it would allow him to see right into her soul. Catriona was almost afraid that he would. “You’re acting oddly all of a sudden.”
“I am not acting oddly. Our training session has come to an end, so there is no other reason for you to be here.” With more force this time, Catriona pried her wrist from his grip. She turned away before he could truly see the lie in her eyes. “I’m sure you know your way out by now.”
At first, nothing but silence met her words. She pretended it didn’t bother her as she made her way back to the chair by the window and picked up her embroidery. The quiet stretched on for so long that she wondered if he truly did not intend on leaving.
But then he did. Loudly and suddenly, he left the room without another word.
Catriona turned her back to the window to keep from watching his departure, but it didn’t stop her from listening.
She listened to the crunch of stones under his feet as he marched to his carriage then the neighing horses as they pulled the carriage out of the driveway.
She didn’t allow herself to breathe until he was well and truly gone.
Guilt began to creep in, but Catriona tried her best to ignore it.
This was what was best after all. After last night, after that brief moment when she’d longed to feel his lips against hers, Catriona couldn’t afford to get any closer.