Chapter Sixteen
“Y es,” she whispered hoarsely. “Please, Wesley.” She could feel herself dripping wet. He answered with his tongue. There. God, he was lapping at her. The groans overtook her body. She arched her hips up into his face. Her hands were in his hair. Holding him close. She was restless. Aching.
He needed to give her what she wanted, and God, she never knew how much she would want his lips on her down there.
His tongue flicked over her once tight bud, and she nearly shouted in ecstasy.
“Yes, Wesley,” was all she could manage to say.
His tongue entered her core and she had no sense of location, only a destination she wanted to reach.
“Please,” she whimpered.
He withdrew his tongue and gently put a finger, then two, inside of her. Pressing, padding, circling until her destination was so close she could smell it. It smelled of sandalwood. And mint.
And then his tongue was licking rhythmically along her bud and she knew he would meet her where she wanted to go.
“Wesley,” the last word from her place of origin. Her body trembled and she felt something spill out of her.
“Oh my God, Boudicca. You’ve given me the best drink of my life.”
And he was about to stand. She didn’t want him going anywhere. The thought of him leaving, even to add the slightest distance was unthinkable. She had been sated, but really, she wanted more. She needed to feel him again. She wanted to feel him in every possible way. The impossibility could be a reality if she reached for it. She need only lift her hand, or open her mouth and ask for what she wanted.
Despite her limbs being weak and heavy, she reached up to him. She knew there was more. And she wanted it. Something about him was different tonight. Fully real. Fully himself. He was only here for her. And she wanted it all. Despite everything she was falling for him. And if she was falling, she wanted her chance at fullness. She would fall hard. Even if she fell alone.
She needed to know it all.
“Options?” she asked weakly.
Astonishment prevented him from giving an answer. So she took the lead.
“This.” She grazed his raging erection. “Here.”
“I like that option.” He smiled a wicked smile. “Are you sure?”
“Yes. Now.”
He opened his falls and his cock sprang out. The ruddy head already had a glistening bead of liquid poking out. She wanted to taste him. Suck on him. But that was a wickedness that would have to wait because she wanted him inside of her. Some primal instinct had taken over, knowledgeable beyond its experience. She just knew that she wanted to trust her body.
She moaned, remembering how his fingers felt inside of her. With a lick of her lips, she asked, “Can we…now?”
He was on his elbows atop her, his mouth attached to her neck. Then down to her nipple. Then up to her mouth. She could taste herself on his tongue. It was the most erotic thing she had tasted. His arousal was pressing at her core, sliding up and down between her sensitive folds. The music of moans filled the air as his hand reached down to hold his cock and ease it into her.
This moment that she could have never predicted was actually about to happen. The duke everyone wanted, the one that hadn’t given any woman a second glance, was giving himself to her. She would be a fool to think it would lead to a future together of fencing and having a family, but she couldn’t help being a fool for the first time in her life. A person couldn’t choose who they fell for.
His eyes were gazing into hers with something akin to adoration alongside concern. “This might hurt—”
“I want all of you, Wesley. Please.” It was a plea that had more meaning than she cared to unpack in the moment. “Now.” She thrust up and took him inside of her.
There was a pinch. A flash of pain, and then unspeakable pleasure. He was filling her completely. His groan met her ear, and he asked, “Are you all right?”
“Yes. More, Wesley,” she said.
“Say my name again, and I’ll give it to you.”
“Please, Wesley.”
“Uhh…” he thrust into her to the hilt. She could feel him everywhere. Her legs wrapped around him the way his scent enveloped her.
And he was moving, his own rhythm. His own pace. But a pace perfectly set by her moaning. She could feel him thickening inside of her.
His thumb found the place, her nub, and he fluttered it against her a few times, heeding her body’s responses. Even though seeking his own pleasure, he was aware of her completely. Wanting her to experience her own pleasure again. He was arrogant. He was untouchable. But he was hers in this moment.
“Come all over my cock, Boudicca, just like you came in my mouth.”
The words should have shocked her into retreat, but instead they propelled her forward. She wanted to meet him exactly where he was and where he was calling her to be. With him encapsulating her, she felt his strength and the power it gave her as well. “Uhhhh…” she felt her release come again. All over him.
He grunted, and with a wince he thrust into her and pulled out. Spilling between her thighs.
She was a hot, sweaty mess. But never had she felt so natural. So whole.
Without even a moment to catch her breath, he rolled onto his side and pulled her into his embrace.
“When shall we get married?”
“Don’t joke about such serious matters.”
“I’m not joking. I just stole your innocence, we should marry.”
“I’m not innocent. I’m a spinster. And you didn’t steal anything.”
“I’m glad you said that,” He kissed her nose. “Not the spinster part. The stealing part. I gave you options, and you chose the way forward. Now I’m giving you another option. Marriage.”
“I thought I wasn’t a lady. Why are you doing the honorable thing right now?”
“It’s not about honor. It’s about…connection. I’ve never felt this way before. It’s never been this good.” He kissed her collarbone. “I know I’ll never have enough of you. Besides, if everything else fails, we’ll always have fencing.”
“If everything else fails, I’ll slash you to death using my rapier.”
He laughed. “Then not everything else will fail. We could have a wonderful life. You intrigue me.”
Intrigue was more the stuff of mysteries than love. It wasn’t as romantic as one would hope for a proposal. But it wasn’t altogether unromantic.
He cupped her chin and asked, “What do I need to do? Bring you chocolates again?”
“You may always bring me chocolates.”
“I shall bring you pale pink peonies, chocolates, and all the ices you desire.”
He was smiling. A large, guileless smile. As if he really did want to marry her. As if he weren’t just doing the honorable thing.
It wasn’t love. At least, not that she could detect. But her sisters had made some observations, so it wasn’t entirely implausible…
“I need time to think.”
“Take all the time you want.”
She sighed in relief.
“Wait. I take that back. Take some time. One and a half days at most, if it pleases you.”
It did not please her. “Why one and a half days?”
“I’d like to know your answer before the fencing tournament.”
“Why is that?”
“It will either fuel me in anger or fuel me in delight.”
A notable avoidance of the word love was not unappreciated.
He continued, “What would be the worst scenario is if I’m still in limbo awaiting your answer during the tournament. Liminal space is the least desirable space by the human race.”
“Ah…so it all comes down to fencing. I can’t say I disapprove of that sentiment. I shall give you my answer before the tournament.”
It was a good thing that Wesley had given her a deadline, else she could have spent countless days and weeks mulling over his question.
As it was, she knew the next day and a half were going to require every ounce of mental and emotional fortitude she possessed. So it was unfortunate that the man lying beside her left her so weak in the knees. That meant, first thing tomorrow, it would be time to rally the troops.
*
Before breakfast, Boudicca had messages sent to her sisters to meet in her room. Joan and Nobi rushed in with concern wrought on their faces, while Mimi sauntered in with a smile.
“So…did you change?” Mimi asked.
Boudicca blushed.
“Good. So I was right?”
“Right about what?” the other two asked.
“The duke was here last night.”
“Oh my God, Mimi. Don’t you think that’s news for me to share?”
“He was here?” Mimi gasped. “Oh my God, oh my God, I was right?”
“You just said that,” Boudicca rolled her eyes.
“Yes, but I didn’t think it. It was a ploy to see if you would divulge the truth. And then you did. And he did come. And I was right.”
How annoying to have young sisters who were right at the worst possible times.
“Fine.” Boudicca gestured for everyone to sit down. Then she turned and faced them. “I don’t know how else to say it. Wesley was here last night and he proposed.”
“Oh. My. God. You’re going to marry a duke?” Mimi was all but shouting.
“Will you please be quiet? Everyone will hear.”
“The dare worked?” Mimi was beside herself. “I can’t believe it. I can’t believe it.”
“Well, believe it, dear sister,” Boudicca said.
She repeated in a hushed whisper, “You’re going to marry a duke.”
“Botheration. Not that part. The part about him being here. He came here last night.”
Mimi pointed to the window with a cocked brow.
“Yes, through the window,” Boudicca muttered. “But I didn’t say yes.”
“You turned him away?”
“Oh my God, Mimi, are you even listening? He came in. He was here. We made…” she blushed as she waved her arm to the fireplace.
“You made fire.”
“Yes, Mimi. We made fire.” She had never been sarcastic with her sisters before. She was patient. Prim. Proper. Responsible. Only…she wasn’t all of that all of the time. And she was becoming less so of it more of the time. If that made sense…It was too much. The exasperation. The emotion. Now she actually had to say the words aloud to her younger, impressionable sisters who were about to set off on their own duke dares.
Joan stepped in, laying a hand on Mimi to quiet whatever garble was about to come out of her mouth. “So he was here.” She waved her hand around the fireplace where Boudicca had gestured. “And he proposed?”
“But I didn’t accept his proposal.”
Joan nodded silently.
“Why didn’t you accept?” Mimi asked.
“I’m sure she has her reasons,” Nobi said. “Don’t you?” It was almost a plea.
“If only I knew…” Boudicca sighed.
“He knows you. Better than any man ever has. You’ve let him in. That means something.” Mimi said.
“He likes you, though I think it’s more than like. And it could grow into love,” Joan was now on board with the youngest.
“Do I want to take that gamble though? Do I not deserve love? Shouldn’t I wait until the man I love is humble enough, happy enough, courageous enough to love me in return?”
“Yes.”
“Well, shouldn’t I?”
“Yes.” Joan repeated. “You absolutely do deserve that. And if you don’t think it’s with Wesley, then say no. Just know that even for the average man it’s a challenge to decipher their own feelings. Never mind one as haughty as Wesley. So yes, it’s a gamble. But it’s a gamble either way.”
And therein lay the problem. Life without love, alongside a man. Life without love, alone. Neither option looked great.
And it wasn’t until later that she realized she had referred to Wesley as the man she loved.