Chapter 14
Chapter Fourteen
Victor’s head was still ringing with the echo of John’s cries.
He had managed to extricate himself hours earlier when John had fallen asleep.
His arms felt strange without the weight of the baby, but he tried to shake off the feeling.
It wasn’t worth getting used to after all.
In an ideal world, the baby would be back with its mother before too long, and the worst-case scenario did not bear thinking about.
Victor arrived for supper and nodded thanks as a servant brought in a bowl of thick broth. He picked up a spoon and dipped it into the dark liquid, but he could not bring it to his mouth because the empty chair vexed him.
Lydia was absent.
And all of this after she was so quick to speak about appearances. He huffed and kept turning towards the door, assuming that she would arrive at any moment, but the doorway remained empty. He summoned a servant.
“Where is my wife?” he asked. “Surely she can’t still be in the garden?”
“I believe she’s upstairs with the baby, Your Grace,” the servant said.
Victor pressed his lips together and threw his napkin onto the table.
“Keep that warm,” he barked and then stomped upstairs, trying not to look at the carpet as he did so. He had to begrudgingly admit that it was a positive change, and it did make the house look bigger.
He found Lydia in the nursery, holding John in her arms. She was sitting in a rocking chair, and it creaked gently. John was asleep, and Lydia looked as though she was half asleep as well.
Her face was pale, and her eyes were heavy. She had a drawn look about her, as though she had been up for days.
“Lydia,” he hissed, careful not to disturb John.
After hearing him scream earlier, Victor was not eager to repeat such a thing.
Lydia stirred, her eyes flashing open. She shuddered for a moment as she tried to steady herself and then seemed to remember where she was.
She looked down at John, and there was relief in her eyes which he assumed was because the baby was asleep.
Lydia rose slowly from the rocking chair and placed John in the crib. She tiptoed toward him, and they both exited the room, pulling the door closed.
“What are you doing up here? The maids can look after him,” Victor said.
“He was restless and unsettled. I wanted to make sure he fell asleep calmly,” Lydia said, yawning as she did so. She looked away and tried to stifle the yawn.
“You look exhausted.”
“It has been a long day.”
“You should not forget food or rest. You cannot look after John if you do not look after yourself.”
“As you have pointed out, I am the one who is supposed to pay attention to him. It’s not as though you are going to rock him to sleep,” she said.
“That is beside the point. When was the last time you took a meal?” he asked.
“I had lunch… I think,” she said although doubt made her brow furrow.
A rumble in her stomach punctuated her words, and her cheeks flushed with embarrassment.
Victor cleared his throat. He had never heard such a noise emanate from a woman before, and he found it quite inappropriate.
Frankly, he hadn’t been aware that women were capable of such noises, but he supposed it was logical considering men and women grew hungry.
“Lydia, you have not eaten, and you must be willing to concede responsibility sometimes. There is a reason we have Mrs. Jones after all.”
“Yes, but Georgia does not always hear John. Apparently, she fell into some water when she was a child and almost drowned. Since then, she has trouble with her hearing.”
“That is most inconvenient,” Victor said.
“I can imagine so, although Georgia says it is sometimes a blessing. She spends her days feeding two infants, and according to her, that leaves very little patience for her husband's endless chatter.”
“I see.” Victor frowned. “I’m not sure I needed to know about the particular details of her personal life. I meant that it was inconvenient for me.”
“Of course, you did. Do you ever think about other people?”
Victor tilted his head to the side. “Why should I think about other people? They can think of themselves.”
“That is not the way the world works Victor,” Lydia said then sighed as her stomach made another grumbling sound. She wrapped her hands around her abdomen and looked as though she wanted to be anywhere else.
“Lydia, you must pay heed to your limits. Nobody can go on forever, and John is… demanding. While he is asleep, you should take the opportunity to care for yourself. You look as though you are about to faint. Come,” he said, turning towards the stairs.
Lydia had an anxious look on her face as she turned back towards the door.
“But what if he needs me?”
“He has Georgia, and if not her, then another maid can watch over him for a time. What good will you be to him if you do not have the strength to carry him in your arms? And I’m sure if he is distressed, he will have no trouble letting the entire house know.
Given what happened earlier, I was surprised we didn’t have the whole of Brighton knocking on our door. ”
Lydia was clearly struggling with the idea of leaving John alone, but even she could not argue with the logic.
She peeled herself away and reluctantly followed Victor downstairs.
Victor slowed his pace, making sure he was there in case she collapsed.
He wouldn’t have put it past her considering how fatigued she seemed.
Her eyelids were heavy, and her footsteps were staggered.
They entered the dining room.
“Sit.” He gestured to a chair.
“There is no need to treat me like a child,” she muttered.
“You may argue after you eat,” he said and signaled to a servant.
He rushed over with two bowls of broth. Victor sat opposite Lydia and watched carefully as she leaned over the bowl, scooped up some broth, and brought it to her lips.
Relief unwound inside him when he realized that she was eating, and only then did he start eating himself.
“I told you I do not wish to argue at all. If you were not so impossible…”
“I am not impossible!” he interrupted, his voice rising sharply.
He caught himself immediately and regained control of his voice.
“We are both getting used to this situation, and I’m sure we will find our rhythm eventually.
All I ask is that you respect my privacy and do not send Mrs. Jones rifling through my offices. ”
Even though Lydia’s head was bowed near the bowl of broth, he caught sight of a smirk. It confirmed his suspicion that she had sent Mrs. Jones to his office to prickle him, perhaps to get back at him for leaving her for three days.
At first, Victor hadn’t even considered it was anything for which he should be concerned.
However, now that he’d seen how demanding and difficult John could be, he had a little more sympathy.
He knew that he wouldn’t have liked to be left alone with John for three days by himself, even with the help of a wet nurse.
“And all I ask is that you keep me informed of your movements. If you are going to depart for London or anywhere else, then I would like to know. I do not appreciate being kept in the dark about anything.”
As Lydia said this, she glanced up and met his gaze.
There was a stark look in her eyes, and he knew that she intended some other meaning although he could not discern what it was.
The only thing it might have been was the matter of the child’s parentage although he hoped that he had put her suspicions to bed by now.
He had never fathered a child, and he was quite sure that it could not have happened unknowingly.
He leaned back, glad that things felt a little more settled. He just hoped that all of his agents in London could uncover the absent mother, and then this ordeal could end.
Yet it did not feel quite so intolerable now.
In fact, there was something quite pleasant about this meal with Lydia.
Usually at dinner, he was reading the papers or conducting business.
It was nice to have a break, and the soft sounds she made while eating added to the feeling of warmth in the house.
Before there had been an emptiness to his abode that he realized now he had grown used to and tolerated if not enjoyed.
It was strange to think that he would go back to that in time when this matter was resolved. At that moment, he started to think for the first time about everything that he had gained rather than everything he had lost.