Chapter 17
On the night of the ball, Evan glared at his reflection in his bedchamber’s mirror as his valet buttoned up the duke’s evening coat.
It would not be long before he saw Joanna again.
He hadn’t seen her since he took her shopping, and he was impatient to see her again.
The sight of her smiling and laughing as she tried on dresses and accessories was burned into his brain.
For reasons he couldn’t explain, he wanted to provide for her and protect her, even going above and beyond what their original agreement would require.
The feeling unsettled him but it made him look forward to nothing but seeing her again.
He dismissed his valet as soon as the coat was buttoned up.
He wanted to leave as quickly as possible.
But just as his valet left, his brother appeared. Peter stood in the doorway of his bedchambers, blocking his way. “I believe you are forgetting something.”
“I have forgotten nothing. Now get out of the way before I am late.”
Peter smiled and gestured to his brother’s neck. “Perhaps you are trying to imply cravats are out of fashion this Season, but I daresay that despite all of your power, your influence does not outshine Beau Brummel’s in matters of clothing.”
Evan’s hand went to his neck to realize he had indeed forgotten his cravat. “Bloody hell.” He looked to see it lying on the dark blue comforter that covered his large bed. He snatched it up with more anger than was necessary.
Peter held out his hand. “Allow me. You are so agitated, you will mess it up.”
“I am not agitated.”
Peter snorted and tied Evan’s cravat around his neck. “There. Now you are presentable for meeting your future bride.”
Evan growled in response, even though a small, foolish part of him wished Joanna to actually be his future bride.
He was beginning to think she truly was an enchantress with the way she had possessed his thoughts after such a short time.
All he knew was he enjoyed spending time with her, and after their courtship ended, there would be little opportunity to see her.
Not only that, but he would have to endure the sight of her on another man’s arm, which filled him with displeasure.
But his rational mind knew better. Marrying would only open himself up to heartbreak and loss, which was the last thing he wanted.
Peter walked Evan outside to the carriage.
The duke was going alone to the ball because the dowager duchess was staying at home with a headache, but Evan suspected she only pretended to have headaches to get out of tedious social obligations.
Peter smirked at the sight of his brother in formal attire.
“I will never envy you for these nights. It must be tedious to have so many social obligations just because of a title.”
“Balls are full of people who think they are much more interesting and much funnier than they really are. You would fit in perfectly.”
Peter laughed. “Perhaps you are right. But I would prefer a night at the club or a night at home. Luckily, I have the good fortune to be able to decline my invitations without causing a horrible scandal.”
“I usually hate these events,” Evan said. “But I must admit, I am looking forward to tonight.”
“Of course you are! You are going with your beloved, after all! You can spend the night dancing with her.”
Evan glowered at him. “Beloved is a strong word, and you know it.”
“Are you certain? You seem like a different man ever since you started courting Miss Thorne. You seem… lighter.”
“Lighter?” He smirked. “Your descriptions are as elegant as always.”
Peter rolled his eyes. “You know what I mean. Less troubled. Less… you. And let me be clear: that is a good thing.”
“Perhaps you are right.” Evan found himself smiling a little more easily for the past few days. Just thinking about Joanna was enough to brighten his mood. He enjoyed being able to take care of her when they went shopping and he looked forward to doing even more of that in the near future.
But unfortunately, in the near future, all of it would end. As soon as the Season was finished, so were they. He offered to help her find suitors because he wanted to protect her, even though the words burned him as he forced himself to say them.
He could not stomach the thought of her falling out of society again when their courtship ended. It would not be long before she and the rest of her family had fully descended into poverty, and then she would have no hope of securing a comfortable future.
But at the same time, the thought of her on another man’s arm made bile rise up in his throat.
He wanted her for himself. Thinking of her with another was enough to make anger and envy rise up inside of him.
He wanted her to look at him, and only him.
It was just one more thing that he would have to come to terms with.
He had no right to her. So he would take care of her as much as he could, and that included finding her a suitor who could keep her happy and comfortable for the rest of her life.
He bid Peter a good night as they reached his carriage. The driver took off to Clifford Manor, where Joanna was waiting for him.
As soon as the carriage pulled up to the front of the manor, the front door opened, and she emerged, with her chaperone following behind her.
His breath caught in his throat at the sight of her clad in silk. The dress fanned out around her as she glided forward. The blue diamond necklace went perfectly with her dress and it formed a V leading down to her breasts.
She was absolutely tantalizing. It would be difficult for him to follow the no-touching rule. Even now, he was tempted for them to find a quiet spot, away from her parents and her chaperone, so he could truly appreciate her beauty the way he wanted to.
She gave him a soft smile. “Good evening, Your Grace.”
“You look beautiful,” he whispered to her. “I will be the envy of the ball with you on my arm tonight.”
She giggled. “I could say the same about myself. After all, everyone will be wondering how I thawed your icy heart.”
Longing spread through his chest at the thought.
If only it was that simple. If only he could give into the temptation she presented to him and give his heart to her completely.
He cursed himself for his wayward, indulgent thoughts.
He should know better than to even want a real relationship with her.
He knew such a thing would only bring pain.
But something about her made him forget rational thought.
He helped her into the carriage, delighting in the feeling of her small hand on his own.
She felt so delicate and small compared to him, which only made him feel more protective, more possessive.
Her hands were also so cold, which made him worry.
Was the manor cold? Perhaps her father could not afford to heat it properly.
He already suspected she didn’t get enough food.
He wanted to hold her hand forever, but he forced himself to let go once she was properly in the carriage. Her chaperone followed behind her. It wasn’t long before they were off.
The ball was at Thornbush Hall, which was home to the Countess of Thornbush. She was known for hosting some of the most lavish balls of the Season, and it was a huge honor to receive an invitation from her.
Evan had to use some of his influence with her to get her to invite Joanna, but it was worth it. Tonight was the perfect night to announce his courtship to society. He looked at Joanna, who was gently wringing her gloved hands in her lap. “Are you ready?”
She shook her head. “I don’t know if I will ever be ready,” she confessed. “What if I freeze again and can’t speak? Like I did at the dress shop.”
“You will not,” he said. “I think you will surprise yourself tonight. And if it becomes too much, then I will be at your side. Just tell me and we can leave early.”
She smiled and shook her head as she gazed at him.
The affection and happiness in her eyes made him want to kiss her. . He wasn’t used to anyone looking at him like that, except maybe his grandmother. “What is it?” he asked, careful to keep his tone neutral.
“I just can’t help but wonder why you don’t want to truly court a lady. You are quite wonderful at it, you know.”
He looked out the window. “It is complicated,” he admitted.
“Of course. Forgive me. I let my mouth run away with me.”
There are other activities that the mouth could be of use for.
The thought came unbidden to his mind, and he clenched his jaw. It was better if he had his usual scowl on his face than betray the sudden waves of uncontrollable lust that occasionally sprang upon him when he was in her presence.
No other lady made him lose control like this. Control in all aspects of his life was something that he craved, that he needed. But with Joanna, the thought of losing it wasn’t quite so terrifying.