Chapter 31
Evan felt restless the day after his dinner with Joanna. He tried not to think about it by throwing himself into his work, but to no avail. Then he decided to go on a walk in the gardens, but that did nothing to settle his thoughts, either.
All he could think about was the sweet little sounds Joanna made as he drove her to ecstasy with his hand.
He wanted to make her fall apart with his fingers, his mouth, and even bury himself deep inside her.
He wanted to strip her out of her clothing until she was naked before him, completely at the whims of his pleasure.
Unfortunately, the Season was winding to a close much sooner than he would like. So he didn’t have much time with her, unless he decided to continue their agreement…
He grimaced as he turned down a path in the gardens so he could start going back to the manor.
Even if she agreed to an extension, their arrangement would still end eventually.
She would want to get married and settle down in a place of comfort and security instead of being at the mercy of him inviting her on dates in exchange for compensation.
But the thought of her with another man—even a good one who could provide her a good life—left a bad taste in his mouth. And if their agreement ended, then he would have to make good on his promise and find her a husband.
But he could not marry her. Marriage would only lead to heartbreak.
He had a need to try to control his life in all ways, including minimizing pain.
He felt the pain too much when his parents died so suddenly.
If he got married– let alone had a child– then he would be opening himself up to more pain.
They could be ripped away from him just as suddenly as his parents were.
Even worse, he could be the one to die suddenly, leaving behind a wife and child to endure the loss.
When he was in his early twenties, he realized he couldn’t afford to marry if he was looking to avoid such pain. He silently swore it off, even as his grandmother started talking about weddings and great-grandchildren.
But the thought of letting Joanna go at the end of the Season was beginning to feel unbearable.
What do you intend to do? Ask her to become your mistress? She would rightly slap you for such a proposition.
As soon as he was inside, he went to his study so he could write a note to Joanna. He would invite her on a date and see if she was willing to extend their agreement into the next Season. That would at least buy him some time.
Joanna came home from tea with Penelope to find the invitation from Evan. He wanted her to join him at the Blackwell Estate for a walk around the gardens. She felt a flutter of excitement as she sent a message back to him, accepting the invitation.
She could not stop thinking about his fingers on her sex, making her feel wickedly good. She wondered if he truly only had a walk in mind, or if they would have a… more intimate encounter, like the one they had after dinner. She secretly hoped it would be the latter.
It didn’t take her long to leave a note for her parents and get ready for the walk, with the help of Mary. Her maid helped her put on one of her prettiest afternoon dresses before doing her hair in a most fashionable way.
“Will you need a companion with you today, miss?” Mary asked. “I can come along. My mother will not expect me home until after dark.”
“Thank you, but that will not be necessary,” she said. “His grandmother loves to chaperone us.” So she can lose us at the first possible moment.
Mary nodded, smiling. “Very well, miss.”
During the carriage ride to Blackwell Manor, Joanna did her best to keep her thoughts restricted to the most innocent subjects, like her favorite types of teas or whether quadrilles were more fun than waltzes.
However, she could not stop her thoughts from inevitably turning more wicked.
Tea reminded her of that dinner and the predatory look in Evan’s eyes.
Dancing reminded her of how good it felt when he put his hands on her.
She pressed her thighs together as the carriage arrived at Blackwell Manor. She took a deep breath, hoping her wanton thoughts would not be obvious on her face.
When she knocked, she was startled to see Evan at the door instead of the butler. She took a step back in surprise. “Your Grace!” she said.
He smirked at her, appearing to take pleasure in catching her off guard. “I know it’s eccentric for a duke to answer his own door, but I admit I was impatient for you to arrive.”
She smiled up at him. “I am looking forward to getting a closer look at the gardens at Blackwell Manor. I am sure they are breathtaking.”
“Not as breathtaking as you,” he murmured. “Follow me.”
He took her through the house and out a door in the back. As soon as they stepped foot outside, Joanna could see several garden beds lined with fragrant blossoms and beautiful trees providing shade. A narrow path started near an arch, covered in vines, and disappeared around a bend.
“It’s so beautiful!” she said, taking a step forward to the archway. She turned to look back at him. “Will your grandmother be joining us?”
His eyes twinkled with mischief. “No. It’s just the two of us today. Don’t worry, you are perfectly safe here.”
Her cheeks grew warm as dangerous fantasies flew through her head of getting him shirtless so she could explore every inch of his skin with her hands while he did the same to her.
Worried her feelings would be noticeable on her face, she tried to cover them up with a mischievous grin.
“A mouse is never safe around a hawk, Your Grace.”
He smirked. “And here I thought I was as docile as a lamb.”
She bit her lip, considering. “I believe that depends on the day, Your Grace.”
He stepped forward and took her hand as he began to lead her down the garden path. “Please, Joanna. When we are alone, call me Evan. I like hearing my name in your voice.”
Her breath caught in her throat, and her cheeks warmed. Everything about this man was as dangerous as it was tantalizing. He made her want to be positively reckless.
They walked through the gardens. Joanna took her time looking at all the fragrant flowers, neatly trimmed and tamed into submission by the fleet of gardeners the manor no doubt employed.
There was not a weed to be seen, nor a rose bush that needed pruning.
The gardens felt like they were straight out of a fairytale.
“I love walking through the gardens when the weather permits,” Evan said. “There are so many dreary days in London, but that makes the sunny ones all the better.”
She smiled as she looked up at him. “That’s quite an optimistic perspective by someone who goes by the Duke of Ice.”
He smiled in return and Joanna couldn’t help but feel a small glow of happiness that she earned one of his rare smiles. “It’s not a perspective I often share with people around me.”
She bent down to smell one of the roses. She closed her eyes, taking it in with a happy sigh.
“I take it you also enjoy getting fresh air in the gardens, then.”
She nodded as she straightened up, but she felt a pang of sadness as they continued on with their walk.
“I used to love walking through the gardens at Clifford Manor as a girl. But it’s too painful now.
We can only keep one gardener. He does his best to keep the place from looking completely neglected, at least from the street view.
But upon closer scrutiny, it’s easy to see the areas where plants have died or are overgrown.
I am afraid the only carefully maintained area in the gardens is the vegetable patch, and that is mostly out of necessity. ”
He didn’t say anything in response, and she felt queasy with anxiety. Perhaps she said too much. There was no point in hiding her financial struggles from him, though. He knew everything already.
Eventually, he spoke. “I would like to extend our agreement,” he said. “Into next Season.”
She turned to look at him, frowning. “Why?”
He didn’t look at her, instead looking straight ahead as they continued on the garden path together. “I…” he trailed off and cleared his throat. “I think it would be mutually beneficial.”
She snorted, unable to stop the pang of disappointment at his words. Leave it to the Duke of Ice to give a cold, objective assessment to something as personal as courtship. “Is that so?”
“Yes. I can ensure both you and your sister have a good Season next year.”
“We will already have a good Season. You have already promised to sponsor Aurelia and provide us both with dowries. You also promised to find me a suitable husband who would provide me with security and everything else I need.”
A muscle twitched in his jaw, and he looked ahead with a glower. “But I can still give you more, can’t I? I can employ a proper staff for Clifford Manor. Or I can pay off your father’s debts.”
Her heart skipped a beat at the thought of that, but for some reason irritation and pride prickled through her. Did he really think so little of her? Did he really think she could be bought like this?
Have you shown him any differently? You practically jumped at the chance when he initially proposed this agreement.
“That is very generous, Your Grace,” she said. His expression soured even more at the use of his title, but she continued on. “But I cannot see what value I could provide in exchange to warrant such a generous offer.”
“I want to see you again,” he said. The words sounded almost as if they pained him. “I don’t want this to end at the end of the Season.”