Chapter 40
The next morning, Joanna barely had time to dress and tell her parents about where she was going before Evan’s carriage pulled up in front of the manor.
The duke stood at the door, waiting for her. He smiled when he saw her walk out the door, with Mrs. Lucas trailing behind her. “Good morning, Miss Thorne,” he said.
“Good morning, Your Grace,” she said. “It was not necessary to pick me up in person, you know.”
“I wanted to ensure you would actually come to Blackwell Manor,” he said. His eyes darkened with a mischievous glint. “I can’t let my prey slip through my talons, after all.”
She smiled at that.
She had woken up tired that morning from the tidal waves of emotions she had been experiencing for the past two days.
From the despair of seeing her name in the scandal sheets to seeing Evan betrothed to Lady Katherine, to the joy and relief she felt when her father told both her and her mother about what the duke had done for him.
She could still scarcely believe it. There was a way out of poverty and disgrace for her entire family, thanks to Evan.
But because of all the emotions, she felt a little numb as she met Evan at the door. But a single comment from him already had her feeling lighter.
She felt a pang of longing as he helped her into the carriage.
There was still a chance that things would not end happily for them.
He could still end up married to Lady Katherine and she would never see him again.
It could be worse. Lady Katherine was sweet and kind.
Perhaps she and the duke would make each other happy with time, despite the circumstances of their betrothal. As for herself… well, she would manage.
However, she was happy they had a moment to talk before they reached the manor.
“I want to thank you properly for helping my father the way you did. I haven’t seen him or my mother this happy in such a long time.
” When she woke up, she had heard her mother singing from downstairs.
It had been so long that she had forgotten her mother had a great singing voice.
Her father was already talking about taking them out to celebrate before the Season was over.
Nothing too extravagant, but maybe they would spend an evening at a smaller, more modestly priced theater.
His eyes were warm as he smiled at her. “I’m glad. Your father is a good man. I’ll be happy to work with him. And Peter will certainly be happy to have a new fencing partner. He seems intent to collect them the way some people collect antiques.”
She chuckled. “Why did you help my father?”
“I told you yesterday. I wanted to ruin the ton’s fun.”
She rolled her eyes. “What is the real reason?”
His expression grew solemn and he looked away. “Peter suggested that you would be begging to marry me if I simply waited until next Season. That your situation, and your sister’s situation, would drive you to desperation.”
She winced. It wasn’t a flattering picture, and it did sting her pride a little.
But she had to admit there was a possibility, especially if Aurelia was having trouble with her Season.
She would do anything to make sure her sister had a good debut Season.
“Perhaps there is some truth to that,” she admitted.
“My father doesn’t want me to find a governess position, and I admit I have few other opportunities. ”
“The last thing I want is for you to marry me simply because you have no choice,” he said.
“The only way I could ensure that was to ensure that your family won’t be destitute.
London society has a short memory and it will not take too long for your family to regain respectability if your father stays away from the card tables.
You’ll have more opportunities now, so you don’t have to marry anyone out of desperation. ”
She smiled, feeling a lump rise in her throat. “Thank you.” Her voice was hoarse with emotion.
“Don’t thank me,” he said quickly. “Believe me, I did it for selfish reasons.”
She shook her head, feeling tears well up in her eyes. “We both know you didn’t. You did it to help me, and I can never repay you.”
“I don’t want you to,” he hissed, looking frustrated. “You owe me nothing, not even your hand in marriage, even though I desperately want it.”
She regarded him curiously. “Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why do you want to marry me? Or anyone for that matter? You were so adamantly against it before.”
He sighed and looked away. “After my parents died, the thought of feeling that pain of loss again felt unbearable. It still does. I know I will inevitably lose my grandmother, and possibly even my brother if he doesn’t outlive me.
I cannot do anything about that. But I thought I could at least spare myself the pain of losing a wife, or even a child.
Even more, I worried about dying suddenly and leaving a widow and grieving child behind.
I wouldn’t wish that sort of pain on anyone.
” He shook his head as if trying to clear his thoughts.
“But you’re not worried about that now?” she asked gently.
“I’m terrified,” he admitted. “But the thought of living my life without you feels worse. You have a tendency to make me reckless. Now I feel so reckless that I want to marry you.”
Warmth and longing seized her chest as she realized the truth of his words. She had wanted him for so long. Now she knew he wanted her just as much– that he truly cared for her. But that knowledge felt bittersweet, because it could be too late for them to get their happy ending.
Evan looked out the window. “We should be arriving soon,” he said. “They should be having breakfast right now. I am going to announce my decision to marry you to everyone. Grandmother will have to accept it if she wants to stay in the manor.”
“You would turn your grandmother out?” She could not help but be shocked. She knew how much he cared for the dowager duchess.
“Yes,” Evan said without hesitating. “If she cannot accept you as my fiancé—as my wife—then I will make sure she has a very comfortable place to live, but it will not be with us.”
A warm feeling filled her chest at him saying “us,” but her thoughts were quickly taken over by the matter at hand. “This doesn’t sound like her,” Joanna said. “I can’t imagine her going against your wishes like this without something else going on.”
“I agree,” he said. “But I don’t know why this is happening. It’s confusing for both me and Peter.”
However, when they reached Blackwell Manor, Joanna had a sneaking suspicion they would soon find out what was afoot.