Chapter 14
Susan was already waiting in the park when Norman arrived the next morning. He saw her from several yards away, standing in a simple green gown and leaning against the trunk of a tree.
He wouldn’t have imagined she would own such a simple gown.
He had only ever seen her in finer things.
And while those things did look good on her, there was something about this gown that took him aback.
It charmed him. It was the kind of thing he might have expected to see on a simple, common woman, not the daughter of a lord—someone he might have chosen to spend time with because he found her engaging, and not just because of the benefit she could offer to his reputation.
For a moment, he just stood watching her as the wind blew her skirts against her knees. He could almost make out the shape of her body. And she was lovely. Reeves had been completely right about that much.
She saw him and lifted a hand in greeting, and he strode over to meet her. “That’s an unusual gown,” he remarked.
She looked down at it, made a face, and looked back up.
“It’s what was clean,” she said. “I had the kind of simple things I would wear around the house, or I had elaborate ball gowns, and I figured this was the least likely thing to get me noticed. It’s for the best if people think I’m just a commoner today, I think. ”
“It probably is,” Norman agreed. “Although if we’re seen together, people will still notice that it’s you.”
She sighed. “That’s the problem,” she said. “That’s why I needed to see you today.”
“What do you mean?”
“I assume you saw the scandal sheets.”
He frowned. “I don’t read those rags,” he said. “What could possibly be in there to interest me?”
“You didn’t hear anyone talking about what happened after you and I parted ways at the Sutherland ball?”
“I didn’t stay after you left,” Norman said, bemused. “I saw you rushing out, and I assumed you had had enough of my company for the evening. We had just had an argument, after all. So I decided I might as well just go home.”
She shook her head. “I wasn’t expecting this. You really don’t know.”
“What is it I’m supposed to know, exactly?
” He was growing impatient with this. Who had time to stand around in the park and play guessing games?
If she wanted to discuss something with him, she ought to get to it, he thought.
It was clear to him now that whatever it was, it wasn’t going to have anything to do with her father’s potential investments in his business interests.
She let out a sigh and wrapped her arms around her midsection. “I asked you to meet me here today, Norman, because… I want to ask you to marry me.”
Norman burst out laughing. “You want what?”
She scowled, clearly annoyed. “This isn’t funny.”
“What do you mean? It’s the best joke I’ve ever heard,” he said. “You don’t mean it.”
“I do mean it,” she said. “I know it changes things, but I want us to marry.”
He shook his head. “Weren’t we just having an argument because you swore up and down that you didn’t want to marry?
And when I said I couldn’t believe that, you told me I was being rude to you, and you stormed away and left me on the dance floor.
And now you come back to me and tell me that, in fact, I was right and you were wrong?
You do want to marry after all? And what’s more, you want to marry me—even though you and I already agreed many times that it wasn’t the right course for us? ”
She lifted her chin. “That’s what I’m saying,” she agreed. “I suppose you’d better go ahead and laugh as much as you want to about it.”
Norman felt like pinching himself to see if he was dreaming. He managed to resist. “Let me see if I’m putting this together correctly,” he said. “After you were so hostile to me at Sutherland, there was some sort of scandal, and that’s the reason you stormed out without so much as a good evening.”
She hung her head.
“And now you want me to marry you in order to save you from that scandal—is that right?” he asked. “Suddenly you’ve realized that reputation actually does matter, and that you really don’t want to be on your own in the world, so you’ve come running back to me.”
Her eyes blazed. “This has nothing to do with my reputation,” she snapped.
“This is about what it was always about—my sister. She’s the one who’s caught in a scandal.
Heaven forbid anyone other than me know how to conduct themselves in public—but because of her missteps, now I must marry before my father will allow her to do the same.
There will be no more benefit of the doubt, no more waiting and trusting that all will go well. I have to marry now.”
“And what does that have to do with me?” Norman knew he was being cold, but did she truly think she could change whatever she wanted to about their plan, and he would just go along with it?
After all the times she had insisted she would never marry, suddenly she was so eager to do so, and he was just supposed to show up?
“You’re engaged to me,” she said evenly. “You have an agreement with my father.”
“Agreements can be broken. Especially agreements made between dukes and earls.” It was the first time he had tried to use his title so bluntly, to position himself above another man, and it made him feel a bit sick to have done it.
But at the same time, it was true. If he decided he didn’t want to go through with the agreement, there would be nothing Lord Crownway could do to force his hand on it.
“I didn’t come here to manipulate you,” Susan said, though he could see by the clench of her jaw that she was furious this wasn’t going the way she wanted it to. “I didn’t tell you you had to marry me.”
“That’s good, because I don’t have to.”
A low growl escaped her. “I asked you to marry me, Norman. I know you don’t have to.
I know this has more to do with what I need than what you need.
I’m asking you to help me. I’ll still keep to our arrangement.
I’ll make sure my father invests in your business.
And you won’t have to do anything with me once we’re married.
I’m not asking to have a relationship. We don’t even have to treat one another as friends.
All I’m asking is that you honor the arrangement we made. ”
“An arrangement you weren’t going to honor yourself until you needed something,” he pointed out.
“It’s not about what I need.”
“I know, I know. It’s about what your sister needs.
And that’s very noble of you, but she isn’t my sister.
” He shook his head. “I think you always wanted to marry. Everything you said about not wanting to get married… that was some sort of trick, wasn’t it?
Maybe you hoped to make me beg you to marry me? That isn’t going to work.”
“You’re a fool,” she snapped. “Do you think I enjoy this? You’re not begging me for anything, Norman, don’t forget that.
I’m the one who wrote to you. I’m the one standing here and begging you to go through with something that you already told me you would do—and something I told you I didn’t want.
You don’t think this is difficult for me?
Of course I’d rather not do this at all.
There’s still a part of me hoping you’ll tell me no—but I know I need to marry now.
My father is watching me too closely. I won’t get away with the act we were trying to pull, and if I don’t marry you, he’ll try to force me to marry someone else instead. ”
He was unsympathetic. “Marry someone else, then,” he said.
Her face flushed. “Please.”
She was embarrassed. She couldn’t even bring herself to look at him. Why would she feel like that if he meant nothing to her? What was really going on here?
“Why? Why do you want it to be me all of a sudden?”
She looked down. “Because at least I know you’re a good man.”
“You don’t think I’m a good man. You think I make assumptions about people. You think the only thing I care about is myself and my own needs.”
“Yes, I do think that.” Now she did look at him, and the look in her eyes startled him.
It was almost a plea. “If you were a selfless man, you would be asking how you could help me, even if you didn’t want to marry me.
You wouldn’t be standing there with that stone-faced look while I poured my heart out to you and telling me it wasn’t your problem. ”
“Well, how can you say I’m a good man, then?”
She bit her lip. “You’re not a bad man,” she said. “If I marry you, I know you won’t do anything that would cause me harm. I know you’ll make sure I live a decent life and that I have everything I need. I know you won’t force me into your bed.”
“Of course I won’t.” He softened.
“That’s why I want it to be you.” Her voice was barely above a whisper.
“Is that the only reason?” he asked.
“That’s the reason.” But she turned her head away, as he knew people did when they weren’t being altogether truthful.
He didn’t know exactly what he had been hoping to hear her say.
All he could think was that it would have been nice if she had admitted to wanting him for something he was, rather than simply a list of things he was not.
She was right to think he wouldn’t be cruel to her, of course, but that was nothing special. No decent man would.
Still, how can I possibly expect her to be eager for a marriage to me when we have both said many times that we didn’t want it? How could she possibly get excited about having to marry me after hearing that from me so many times? Of course, she couldn’t.
He sighed. “All right,” he said.
She looked up. Shock was written on her face. “All right… what?”
“All right, I’ll do it,” he said. “I’ll marry you.”
“You will? Truly?”
“Nothing changes as far as anyone else is aware,” he said. “We tell no one that the marriage was never intended to take place. We simply go forward with it as though that was what we meant to do all along.”
She nodded. “Yes—yes, I think that’s best.”
“Is there anything else?”
“This really isn’t what I wanted for either one of us,” she said quietly.
“I know it isn’t what you wanted, Norman.
I didn’t mean to put you in a bad position.
I’m sorry things have turned out the way they have—truly, I am.
And I’m grateful to you for helping me—for helping Marina.
She was irresponsible, and I don’t know how I’m going to forget about that—but she’s still my sister, and I want the best for her, no matter what it costs me.
No matter what I have to do. I hope you can understand that. ”
Norman didn’t want to stay here any longer and talk about whether he could understand her plight. He was marrying her—that would have to be enough. “I have to get home,” he said. “We can discuss this further at another time. I’ll be in contact with your father.”
She nodded. “Thank you,” she whispered.
Norman turned and walked away—and as he did, he found himself fervently wishing that she hadn’t thanked him.
And that she hadn’t begged him.
It hurt him more than he could have anticipated to see her broken down like this. Her spirit had always been the thing he admired most.
Now that spirit seemed dimmed—dimmed by the prospect of marriage to him.