CHAPTER 17
She had known he was coming. She tried to prepare, to bolster her confidence before seeing him again. But nothing could have prepared her for the reality of Michael standing in front of her after all these years.
Her legs were shaking so badly, she was in danger of collapsing, while her heart hammered inside her chest, robbing her of breath and making her lightheaded. Her palms sweated, and she closed her fists upon the fabric of her skirt, attempting in vain to control their trembling.
Time had been kind to Michael. More than kind.
It seemed to have honed him with a loving hand.
At twenty-three he had been a handsome, charismatic young man, with an effortless charm and a passion for life.
At thirty-five, he was even more so. A man in his prime, confident of his place in the world.
Comfortable with the power he wielded not only as one of the most powerful peers of the realm, but also with his own physical and mental capabilities.
His shoulders were wider, his muscles more developed, and he seemed made of stone.
Especially his eyes, which looked at her with undisguised hostility and mistrust. At least it was not indifference.
That would have been worse, wouldn’t it?
No. She could not allow herself to be distracted.
He held her nephew’s fate in his hands. And the anger in his demeanor could prove her downfall.
She had to try to appease him. Earn his trust. At some point, she would have to tell him the truth. But not now. He would not believe anything she said now if she threw herself at him with protestations of innocence.
She could start by answering his questions in an honest and straightforward manner, without giving away anything she was not ready to disclose and he was not willing to hear.
“I arrived about a month ago. When my brother realized he was dying, he sent for me to entrust me with the guardianship of his son because he believed I was a better choice than the alternative. I accepted because there is no one else to care for the child. And I… I’ve become very fond of him,” she couldn’t resist adding.
She wanted to plead her case, tell him she loved Edward and ask him to please not let anyone take him away from her, but she refrained.
“And you were willing and able to relinquish your previous life and return to England to raise a child you had never met?”
“Yes.” That was the short, simple answer. Oh, if he only knew how willing she had been!
Not yet.
“Do you have children of your own?”
The question, especially coming from him, caught her by surprise and locked the breath in the back of her throat. “I do not, Your Grace.” Do you? Her traitorous heart wanted to know. And yet shied away from the question.
“Does that mean your attention and loyalties won’t be divided?”
“Divided? What do you mean?”
“Your nephew is a peer of the realm, madam. Being his guardian comes with responsibilities beyond those of child rearing. He needs someone to manage his estates and other assets until he is capable of doing so by himself. He needs to be taught how to do it. He needs to receive a proper English education. In other words, he needs to remain in England. You cannot take the child away with you if you decide to return to your previous life on a whim.”
Oh… he thought she had left on a whim? That she might leave again?
Of course he did. Wasn’t that how her brother had presented the facts?
Her rational mind could forgive him for believing that lie.
But her heart… that was another matter. Her heart screamed to tell him the truth because it couldn’t stand another moment of his cold, hard gaze.
She swallowed the retort that wanted to bubble out of her.
“I have no intention of returning to Suez, Your Grace. Or, indeed, going anywhere else. I have returned to England for good.”
“I wish I could take you at your word. Alas, it has proven to be unreliable in the past.”
Only years of practice in concealing her emotions prevented her from reacting to that barb. Still, she could not prevent a small flinch.
“How could I convince you that I’m in earnest, then?”
“I need to be able to look after the child. I’ll hire a tutor—”
“A tutor? Edward is two years of age!”
“A governess then. To make sure the child is well cared for.”
How dare he! The gall, to imply she could not take good care of her nephew.
That he somehow knew better. Who the hell did he think he was, coming here and interrogating her?
He hadn’t even met Edward! He had not the first clue what the child needed, and yet he presumed to tell her?
Wanted to place a spy in her house? Because she had no doubt that’s what this “governess” would really be.
“That is hardly necessary, Your Grace. I already employ sufficient nursemaids to care for the child, as you’ll be able to see for yourself.” She forced the words through clenched teeth.
“Ah, yes. But they are all employed by you. I need someone who would answer to me. Someone I can trust.”
The insult was deliberate. And well placed. Stay calm. She needed to stay calm. He was misguided. Misinformed. When the time was right, she would tell him the truth, then he would see the error of his ways.
“In other words, you want to place a spy in my household.”
“Call it what you will, but if you want my support, you will allow it. And I dare say, if you were desperate enough to send your solicitor to ask for my help, you really need me. So what’s it going to be, Lady Josephine?”
The way he said lady managed to make it sound like an insult. Was it only a few moments ago that her heart was galloping with tender emotions for him? Now she wanted nothing more than to smack that superior expression from his face.
“Fine, place your spy if you must. But we need to set some guidelines. I won’t have someone in my home who is hostile toward me or whose methods are not in Edward’s best interest. Present me with several suitable candidates, and we will interview them together.
I’ll have the final say in whom you hire. ”
He narrowed his eyes. “You are in no position to make demands.”
“These are not unreasonable requests. If I’m to have my privacy invaded, my every move reported on—”
“Don’t flatter yourself,” he interrupted her, his tone scathing. “This is not about you. I care not one whit what you do. The governess will only report on the child’s care.”
God, how much he must hate her. He must have been hurt deeply to still carry so much rage after so many years. But then again, maybe it was just his pride that had been hurt. A man’s pride was a fragile thing.
“I still would like to have a say on who you hire. Especially if she’s going to be involved in my nephew’s care.” Her heart might be bruised, but she was proud that her voice came out calm and assertive.
Their gazes clashed, dark green against blue, and she was being pulled under the hypnotic spell of those eyes. Eyes the color of the deepest forest. A refuge she wanted to run into and never emerge from. Though he snatched it away, leaving her bereft and exposed.
“Don’t think you can manipulate me, Lady Josephine.” His quiet tone held a menace that chilled her to the bone. “Your big innocent eyes might fool others, but I know better. If I catch even a hint of deceit, you’ll rue the day you crossed my path again.” With that, he turned and strode away.
What did that mean? Did he accept her request? Had she just succeeded in creating more trouble for herself? She was uncertain, but with a shaky exhale, she sank onto the nearest chair.
What the hell was he doing? He had behaved like a boor. Threats? Insults? Snide remarks? He had done it all. Acted like a spurned lover. A lovesick fool.
A thrice damned fool.
Michael practically ran down the steps of the house as he called for his horse. Thankfully, it was brought back with alacrity, and he leaped onto his mount and sped down the driveway. He needed to get away from this place. Away from her.
After recovering from the shock of meeting her so unexpectedly, he planned to be cold and businesslike.
That had not lasted long. She had slid under his skin, the same as before.
What right did she have to look so innocent, so lovely?
The role of a damsel in distress fit her to perfection.
But it was just that. A role. He knew her for what she really was: A faithless bitch.
He winced at the ugly epithet, shying away from it even in the privacy of his own mind.
He couldn’t hate her. And he couldn’t be indifferent either.
What did that leave him? She was a superb actress, for even knowing her innocence was all an act, he still yearned to protect her. He had wanted to enfold her in his arms and be her champion, her knight in shining armor. The need was so powerful, it created an ache in his chest. Fool. Fool. Fool.
One thing was clear. If she was up to any scheme, he would uncover it.
Maybe it was a good thing he had encountered her again.
Twelve years ago, their story had ended abruptly and without satisfying answers.
There had been no closure. Maybe that was the reason for the irrational obsession he felt toward her.
But life had given him a chance to obtain answers, and he would take full advantage of it. He would wrench the truth out of her deceitful lips. He would get to the bottom of her schemes. And hopefully purge her from his heart once and for all.