CHAPTER 24 #2
She nodded yes, realizing the time for revelations had arrived.
Hannah had dismissed her warning about her scandalous reputation.
But would she feel the same after learning the sordid details of her kidnapping?
And what about Abigail? What would she think of her?
It was strange, but up until yesterday, she thought she didn’t care about the opinion of society.
And she didn’t, in a general sense. But after conversing with these ladies for the better part of an hour, she found that she liked them immensely, and she cared what they thought of her.
She didn’t want to disappoint her new friends.
She looked down at her hands, which were pleating the folds of her skirt, suddenly wishing Michael was here by her side.
He would give her courage just by being present.
But he had left with the other gentlemen to play billiards about half an hour ago.
The kids played not far from them, being watched over by two nursemaids.
She had nothing and no one to hide behind.
“The story that circulated among society was that I eloped with a foreign prince. But I swear that was not what happened. The truth was, I was kidnapped from my home.” That elicited simultaneous gasps and expressions of horror and commiseration from her new friends.
Hannah’s hand had come up to her neck while Abigail’s eyes were as round as saucers, her hands fisted on her own skirts.
But she didn’t see condemnation. Only absolute shock at her revelation.
“My brother owed a big sum in gambling debts to the Pasha of Suez. He had no way of repaying them. The pasha saw me and wanted me, so he accepted a trade. Me, in exchange for the debt. My brother was only too happy to get rid of his troublesome little sister and his gambling debts in one fell swoop. So he facilitated my kidnapping and even put out the story I had eloped to ensure no one would come for me.”
“Josephine, that is horrendous.” Hannah leaned over and squeezed her hand.
“How did you survive? What has your life been like?” This from Abigail.
She lowered her gaze. It would be impossible to tell these gently bred ladies all the humiliations and degradation she had suffered at the hands of the pasha.
She wasn’t sure she could bear to talk about that with anyone.
But she could give them a general idea of her life.
She knew harems were a source of fascination and titillation to the English people, their reclusiveness and mystery only adding to their allure.
“Harems are not a terrible place. At least, they are not meant to be. They are designed for the women’s comfort and protection.
The palace of the pasha was very grand, and the women’s quarters were equally well appointed.
We had luxury accommodations and were given expensive gifts according to how well we pleased our master.
Once I… learned to submit, I didn’t lack for anything.
” Anything except freedom. And dignity. And love. And belonging.
She didn’t say that, of course. But the other women seemed to understand what was left unsaid.
They looked at her with so much compassion.
Abigail even reached over to clasp her hand in a comforting squeeze.
The simple gesture almost brought tears to her eyes.
Never had she hoped for such acceptance among aristocratic ladies.
“We understand, dear. A gilded cage is still a cage, isn’t it? It’s a disgrace that, in these purportedly civilized times, women could be imprisoned, mistreated, and subjugated. Placed at the mercy of the men in their lives. If they are kind, she might fare well, but if they are evil…well.”
Abigail didn’t need to elaborate. If the men were evil, women could be subjected to all manner of atrocities.
From being deprived of home and means of support, to physical abuse and having her freedom taken away.
The passion in Abigail’s eyes made Josephine think she was familiar with male abuse.
But surely not from her husband? Colin’s features may be austere, but there was no mistaking the adoration in his gaze when he looked at his wife and daughter.
“I know what you mean,” Hannah interjected, her gaze somber.
“Thankfully, I never suffered abuse. But that was only thanks to Harold, my late husband. He married me to save me from a marriage my father had arranged with his despicable nephew. I can’t even imagine what my life would have been like married to such a monster.
” Hannah raised her eyes, and Josephine was shocked to see they were flooded.
“He tried to kill my son to inherit the dukedom. If it hadn’t been for Gabriel…
” She shuddered, and her mouth twisted with emotion.
“I’m sorry for souring the mood. Sometimes I believe I’ve overcome the experience, but when I think about it, terror swamps me. I came so close to losing my child.”
Both Abigail and Josephine reached out to Hannah, offering their hands in support. “Nothing to apologize for,” she told her friend. “What you recount is horrible. An experience sure to give a mother nightmares for the rest of her life.”
“I agree, Hannah. Be assured we are here to support you,” Abigail said, squeezing Hannah’s hand.
“In fact, while we are on the subject, this might be a good time to talk to you about something I’ve been considering for a while.
I’ve even talked to Colin about it and he thinks it’s a great idea.
I want to form a charity to support women and children.
Advocate for their rights, protect them, help them escape from abusive relatives if necessary, and assist them in forging better lives for themselves. ”
“I think that is a fantastic idea!” Hannah replied. “You can count me in.”
“I would love to be part of such a project as well,” Josephine said.
“What I haven’t figured out yet is how to reach these women who might need help.”
Hannah frowned. “Couldn’t we reach out to parishes, poorhouses, and other charitable organizations?”
“Yes. And we will certainly do that. But I want to help other women too. Ones that might not be in such an outwardly evident bad situation. They might have a home, and even family, but are being mistreated and suffering in silence because of a lack of options.”
“I see…” Hannah bit her lip. “Those might be more difficult to reach. Most may not even know where to seek help or might be afraid to confide their troubles.”
“Or worse, they might tolerate the abuse because they think it’s normal,” Abigail added somberly.
Unfortunately, Josephine knew all too well to what they were referring.
“I might be able to help,” Josephine interjected as an idea occurred to her.
Then she blushed when Hannah and Abigail’s eyes turned to her.
“I mean, I don’t know how to find those women either, but I might know someone who can.
It’s the female agent who was sent to escort me from Egypt to here.
Her name is Alice. She was very kind, but I have the impression she’s not someone to be trifled with.
Of course, I would have to ask her. I don’t really know for sure if she’d be able or willing to help us, but I have the feeling she might. ”
“Well, nothing to lose by asking her. I’ll ask Esther for help as well.
” Abigail replied and explained. “Esther was the dowager countess of Hartfield, and a dear friend of mine. But she’s now married to Mr. Wang, a friend of my husband’s.
Mr. Wang and Colin have a medical practice in Soho, where they combine Oriental and Western medicine to treat all sorts of injuries and people.
She’s involved in helping her husband run the clinic, and that might be another source. I’m sure she would love to help.”
“Oh, most definitely!” Hannah said.
Josephine’s head was still trying to grapple with the names and unusual facts.
A former countess married to an Oriental man?
One who ran a medical practice in Soho? Had Abigail really said the former countess helped him run it?
And that her own husband, the earl, also participated in the running of the establishment?
Was Lord Hartfield a doctor, then, or merely a sponsor?
So many questions! Her head was spinning.
But she didn’t want to pry. She would ask Michael later for details.
So she just nodded and smiled as if she understood what was going on, when the only thing clear was this.
Her new friends were unusual among the aristocracy. And she liked them all the more for it.
“Excellent! We need to meet again soon to discuss the particulars. Maybe next week at my home? I’ll invite Esther and Elizabeth, and maybe you could invite your friend, Josephine.”
“Sounds fantastic. I’ll see if Alice can attend. I wish to thank you both. Michael assured me that I would find friendship and acceptance here, but I never expected to find such kindred spirits among ladies of the ton.”
“Of course, dear. I’m glad we found each other.
We all have had painful experiences in the past, and that makes us especially able to understand and sympathize,” Abigail said.
“But enough of the past. I daresay if we dwell on it, the three of us would have plenty to feel melancholy about. Let us talk about the present and the glorious future instead. Now you are back home. You have a wonderful nephew, good friends, and a shining new fiancé. How do you feel about that?”
She was referring to Michael, of course. The stubborn man insisted on offering his protection at whatever cost to him.
“As to that… I don’t want to mislead you.
” She looked down, embarrassed to have lied to her friends.
“Michael proposed the engagement as a way of protecting me.
Because my cousin is contesting my guardianship of Edward, citing loose moral conduct as proof of my unsuitability to be the child's guardian. Michael is helping me retain guardianship and came up with the idea of an engagement to lend me respectability.”
Abigail considered her thoughtfully, as if she were solving a puzzle in her mind. “No, I don’t believe that’s the only reason for his proposal. You are The One,” she finished with something like wonder in her tone.
Josephine looked at her, bemused. “The one?”
“Yes, The One. The woman who captured his heart. He’s chivalrous, but he wouldn’t propose matrimony if he didn’t mean it. There are other ways he could help.”
Josephine shook her head. She wasn’t sure why she was attempting to deny it, but it panicked her a little to have her new friends assume that.
Not when she knew it was impossible. That she was going to break Michael’s heart again.
Not intentionally, and her own would shatter beyond redemption in the process, but that didn’t make it any easier to hear this.
“We have a history,” she confided instead. “But it’s complicated. And impossible.”
Abigail shook her head. “Nothing is impossible if you love each other.”
“How do you know this? Has Michael confided in you?”
“Of course not. Men are notoriously closed-mouthed. But one only needs to observe the way he looks at you.”
“How does he look at me?”
“The same way Gabriel looks at Hannah and Colin looks at me. As if you are the only woman on this earth for him.”