Chapter Seven
Grace would have been content to travel back in her own curricle with Sarah, but the Dashworth ladies had insisted that she ride with them within the Glanmore carriage.
It was a tight space, which gave her no room to vent under her breath.
If she started saying all that was on her mind about their brother-in-law, Grace thought the three women might not look as kindly at her as they were now.
‘I do apologise for His Grace’s behaviour,’ said Emily when they were underway. ‘The brothers do not talk of Lord Sebastian often, but they are still hurting over his death. Anything to do with him brings intense emotions.’
That Grace could understand. ‘Sebastian was a wonderful man. I also feel his loss, even though it has been a long time since he passed away.’
‘I am sorry, too, that you have lost a sister,’ said Emily.
The other ladies murmured in agreement and Grace had to drop her gaze to her lap to stop herself from crying.
‘Clare was my best friend. There is not a day that goes by when I do not wish to speak to her again. But I am so pleased to hear that Charlotte is thriving.’ She paused, glancing up. ‘He was not just saying that, was he?’
‘His Grace dotes on Charlotte. She is an incredibly happy young girl.’
That was good, great even. It should not leave Grace feeling as if her heart were being squeezed. All she had wanted, all the things she had sacrificed over the last couple of years, had been to ensure Charlotte’s safety and prosperity.
‘You must come and spend time with her.’
Grace wanted nothing more than to see Charlotte again. She had longed for it, ached for it, and yet now that the prospect was close, her heart trembled at the thought. ‘It has been a long time. I doubt she will remember me.’
‘Then you will have to remind her.’
Grace nodded, pressing her palms together in the hope that it would stop the tears that were threatening to escape. ‘I thank you, Emily. You have been most kind.’
‘Not at all, Grace. You are family now.’
‘Ace,’ said Kate, snapping upright, causing everyone to jolt slightly in surprise.
‘No. Grace.’
Kate grinned, a look that was not at all ladylike. ‘On occasions, Charlotte refers to someone called Ace. I am wondering if perhaps that is you.’
Her heart hurt at the prospect. ‘It is possible.’
‘Have you ever travelled with her on a boat?’ Kate leaned forward, studying Grace as if she were a museum exhibit.
‘Yes. I… um… I brought her over to England.’ There was a lot more to that story, but she wasn’t ready to share it yet.
Kate nodded, pleased. ‘Ah, we wondered who came with her. You have crossed the Atlantic more than once then?’
‘Yes, three times. Have any of you ever travelled by packet ship?’
‘Goodness me, no,’ said Kate, her eyes crinkling at the corners, and the other two women shook their heads. ‘I would not get on a boat for all the money in the world. Was it terrifying?’
‘There were certainly times when I thought the end was nigh. I am not in a hurry to get back on one. But…’ She looked out onto the streets they were trundling down.
‘To see another country is exciting.’ She didn’t want to discuss her past too much.
There was a lot she needed to tell this family, but now that she had this connection, she had time to reveal more.
She did not have to face the worst of it yet.
Fortunately, they did not press her for further details.
Instead, they began a lively discussion of all the places Sophia was going to visit with her husband.
The two of them intended to embark on a tour of Europe together next year and from the way Sophia’s eyes shone she was very much looking forward to it.
Grace was content to sit back and listen to them talk.
It was clear that the three ladies were close and watching their dynamic made her both happy and sad in equal measure.
For who could not be glad that Charlotte would grow up around these women?
Charlotte would never know what it was like to live in a house, frightened by the adults who should care for you, like Grace and Clare had done.
Clare’s daughter would know nothing but love.
But even though Grace was happy, her heart ached, because Clare should be here in this carriage.
Not Grace. Clare would have enjoyed Sophia’s carefree giggle, Kate’s storytelling and Emily’s kindness.
The years between Clare’s death and now had been fraught and there had been times when she’d not had the luxury to grieve for her sister.
The full force of her loss hit her like a battering ram, the pain lodging so deeply in her chest she could not stop it from hurting.
It was Emily who noticed the tears she had tried so desperately to hold in were finally spilling, she who crossed over to sit beside her and pulled Grace into her arms.
‘I miss Clare so much,’ she said into the countess’ hair.
‘I am sure you do. I know it is not the same, but if you need us, you have us now.’
And as these ladies crowded closer, trying to heal her, a woman they didn’t know, with their presence, Grace thought she could hear Clare’s soft laugh in the carriage with them.