Chapter Eleven #3
Oh. That was rather lovely. Yet another courtesy she had not expected from the Dashworth family.
‘It is kind of you to do so,’ she said when it was apparent that he was waiting for an answer.
‘I am… fine. A little out of sorts perhaps, but I have had longer to adjust to what I told you yesterday than you have. You did not need to go to this effort.’
‘It is hardly a burden to take you for a ride. Why would you think that none of us would want to know how you were today?’
‘Because…’ It had not occurred to her that any of them would want to see her again after her revelations, but especially not him.
The start to their relationship had been very rocky, and in all the words she had heard spoken about Tobias since her arrival, none of them had been about his compassion and thoughtfulness.
No one had accused him of being a cruel man either; aloof and stern were the most common descriptors used.
‘Because…’ She shrugged, not sure how to put into words what she had been expecting.
When it was clear she could not answer, he said, ‘You have showed great bravery in everything you have done.’
‘No,’ she said, her heart cracking at the sincerity she could hear in his voice. ‘I have been scared and done things all wrong and…’
‘Charlotte is safe and in our care. When it comes down to it, Charlotte is what matters most. That she is with us is thanks to you and your actions. If you have been frightened in the process, then you were even more courageous than I have given you credit for.’ He paused, his dark eyes meeting hers.
‘And I have upset you again. I am sorry, for that was not my intention.’
Tears were gathering in her eyes and she blinked furiously, willing them not to spill. ‘I am not distressed.’
He made a noise in the back of his throat, which suggested he knew she was lying, but he was too much of a gentleman to point it out.
Using her thumb, she wiped away the tears and took in a shuddery breath.
When she was calmer, she managed to say, ‘I promised Clare, not in reality obviously, but I swore to her memory that I would stop being such a watering pot. I have cried far too many times since that awful carriage crash which ended their lives. I know that she, and Sebastian, would want me to be happy, that they would want me to have a life without regret and sadness. They were both so full of joy, never more so than when they were together; people would pick up on it and would begin smiling just because they were in their orbit. I do think Clare, in particular, would be slightly disappointed by how much I have cried in the last day or so.’
‘I doubt it. I cannot presume to know the mind of your sister and it has been many years since I last spoke with Sebastian, however, I believe that, if they even had the slightest idea of what you have done for their daughter, they would be eternally grateful and would forgive you all manner of things. I can see that my words are having the opposite effect to what I intended and I am upsetting you further, so I shall stop. Let us talk of other matters, ones that are less painful. Perhaps I can find a way to inadvertently anger you again and you can take me to task. You seem to enjoy that.’
She laughed, even if the noise did sound watery. ‘I do not think I can be at odds with you if you are not either accusing me of trying to drown you or insinuating that I am trying to trap you into marriage.’
To her surprise, a light pink colour washed over his cheeks. ‘Once again, I was not trying to imply anything of the sort. I know that you do not have designs on my person. I…’
‘I know. I am teasing you.’
‘Oh.’ His shoulders loosened. ‘I see.’ He touched the brim of his hat. ‘I am not used to being teased.’
Her heart hurt a little at his confession.
Everyone should be provoked, albeit in a friendly manner, at least some of the time.
It kept one from becoming too full of one’s own importance, not to mention it meant there were people around you who knew your weaknesses and loved you just as much, if not more, for them.
She cleared her throat, not wanting to show his comment had moved her. ‘Is it not only swans who are overcome by your status? Are people also too in awe of your dukeliness to be an annoyance to you?’
The skin around his eyes crinkled again. ‘Indeed. I should imagine that is the case. Although, my brothers do annoy me on a daily basis without the teasing.’
‘Is that so?’
‘Quite. Only yesterday evening, Christopher announced that he has taken up learning the violin. I was flummoxed, given that he has shown no interest in anything musical for his entire life. Apparently, he has been having a few lessons in secret, but unfortunately there is no evidence to support his bold claim. After his first recital, I can only assume he has decided to form a new way of torturing us all. Sitting through several hours of Hamlet would be far preferable. How his wife watched him, beaming with pride, I shall never know. I truly believed my ears had started bleeding.’
She laughed and the lines around his eyes deepened.
‘Perhaps that is his way of teasing you,’ she said.
He pondered that for a moment. ‘Maybe. I think, on reflection, I would prefer him to use words. It would be less abrasive.’
‘Do I take it from your comment that you are not a fan of Shakespeare?’
‘I am sure he was a fine fellow, but Hamlet does go on for far too long.’
She gasped, pretending to be shocked. ‘You are a philistine. Does anyone else know about your shameful slur on the world’s greatest playwright?’
‘Ah, I fear we have hit on another blackmailing opportunity for you. My loathing of Hamlet is a secret of which only you and I are aware.’
‘Where does this dislike stem from?’
‘I have seen it a few times, and on every occasion I am afraid my dislike of the play deepens. It is the way the protagonist drones on and on. There are far too many words.’ He pulled a face that made him look far younger than she had ever seen him.
‘But I suppose my first encounter with it was when I was about twelve. Sebastian and Freddie wanted to put on a show and they chose to perform that one. Neither of them could agree on who should be Hamlet, which resulted in them both playing him. It was a discordant mess. I still have nightmares about it.’ From his dry tone, Grace could not tell if he was jesting or not.
‘You are lucky to have them,’ she said as they followed a curve in the path.