Chapter 3
“Lady Dorothy,” Nathaniel said, his voice sharp as glass.
“Nathaniel.” She wasn’t about to pretend that they didn’t know one another.
Though they hadn’t spent much time together, it had been established at the very first dinner party that they had both attended that they would call one another by their first names, since everyone else at that party was on a first name basis with each other.
He was the one who was behaving oddly now.
In the past, when their paths had crossed, he hadn’t stood out to her that much.
He had simply been the third member of the group of gentlemen that sometimes joined her friends for social events.
Dorothy had paid more attention to her friends’ husbands than to the extra man.
In fact, she was aware now that she had actively avoided him, lest the two of them find themselves awkwardly paired in the eyes of their married friends.
But she was looking at him now. He was tall and imposing, with broad shoulders and dark green eyes. Currently, those eyes were full of an anger that seemed to pin her where she stood. It was hard to take a breath when he was looking at her like that.
She closed her eyes and forced herself to relax. She hadn’t done anything wrong. He was the one who had behaved badly. She wouldn’t allow herself to be thrown by his presence.
He glanced at her sisters, who were clinging to one another and staring at him with wide eyes. “I wonder whether you and I could have a word in private?”
Honora giggled. “Oh, Your Grace, of course! We would be more than happy to step out and give the two of you a moment together.”
“Yes, that would be no trouble at all,” Abigail enthused with a knowing smile.
“I think we can speak in front of my family,” Dorothy said, wondering what this was about. Honora and Abigail clearly thought he was here for courtship, but Dorothy knew it couldn’t be that.
“I think,” Nathaniel said, his voice tight, “that you might rather have this discussion privately. Though I am willing to do it in front of your family if you insist.” He raised an eyebrow.
It was enough to give her pause. He seemed to believe what he was saying, that making the conversation a private one would be for her sake. “Very well,” she said. She turned to her family. “Would you excuse us, please?”
“Mulligan will remain,” Mrs. Banks said. “And I shall send Nancy in to light the fire for you as well.”
She opened the door and stood back to allow Honora and Abigail pass before her.
They looked disappointed, but they both rose and made their way out of the room.
Nancy, one of the scullery maids, slipped in through the open door.
It was warm for a fire, but Dorothy knew perfectly well that Mrs. Banks had really only sent Nancy in to ensure that there were plenty of witnesses to this conversation.
Ever since the death of Dorothy’s parents, Mrs. Banks had taken on something of a motherly role in Dorothy’s life.
To tell the truth, Dorothy was grateful for it.
Dorothy remained seated, watching Nathaniel. He took the seat that had been vacated by Dorothy’s sisters and pressed his lips together.
“Why did you do it?” he asked.
A thrill ran through her, but she kept her face composed. He couldn’t know. “Why did I do what?”
“Don’t pretend not to know. You saw to it that my list would appear in the scandal sheets. I know it was you. Did you really think you were well-hidden in those curtains? Your shoes were poking out from beneath them.”
She stared at him. “My shoes? You knew me by my shoes?” Her heart beat faster. Had he been taking notice of her?
No one ever takes notice of me…
“Of course not. But I knew someone was there, so I waited and looked around the corner to see if you would come out. And you did. I have to say, when I saw it was you, I was more amused than surprised. You always struck me as the sort to lurk about in the shadows.”
Dorothy fumed.
“But,” he went on, “I hadn’t realized at the time that I’d left that list behind.”
“You shouldn’t have left it,” she told him.
“Indeed I shouldn’t! I might have known it would fall into the hands of someone eager to cause mischief.”
Dorothy sat up straighter. “The list itself is mischief,” she told him severely. “I published it because people ought to know the kind of man you are. To judge all those ladies according to what they look like!”
He shook his head. “We all take note of one another’s appearances,” he said. “I have no memory for names, so I wrote the list to help me recall who was who. That’s all.”
“But the list said that everyone on it was a potential bride.”
“That’s the way the marriage mart works. You know that. Everyone is a potential husband or wife at first. It’s a matter of narrowing things down and finding the one who is right for you in the end.
Everyone? Then why wasn’t I on the list?
She didn’t voice the question. It would have been far too embarrassing. And to tell the truth, she didn’t really want to know the answer. It didn’t matter anyway. It wasn’t as though she had any interest in becoming his wife.
“Well, I apologize,” she said. “I see that I might have been hasty in publishing that list. But it won’t make much of a difference.
You’re a gentleman of high rank, and you aren’t going to have any trouble in finding yourself a wife.
I may even have done you a favor. Now everyone will know that you’re looking.
I’m sure there are plenty of ladies on that list who will make it a point to let you know they are interested. ”
“That’s going to make it harder, not easier,” Nathaniel said.
“The fact that there are too many candidates is my whole problem, Dorothy.” She was pleased to hear him drop the formality.
“It’s impossible for me to remember who is who.
That’s why I made this list in the first place.
It’s the reason I’ve had no success in courtship.
Even if I do enjoy an encounter with someone, by the end of any evening I’ve met so many ladies that they all start to mesh together in my mind.
And now there will be even more of them pressing themselves on me. ”
“I just can’t believe that that’s your problem,” Dorothy said, shaking her head. “You have too many candidates, and that bothers you?”
“Of course it does. I’m only looking to marry one person, after all.”
“Then choose one. It’s easy if you know what you’re looking for.” She thought about the list she had seen. “Although I suppose it’s clear that you don’t.”
“And what is that supposed to mean?” His eyebrows arched.
“I saw the things you wrote down,” she said. “The only thing you notice about ladies is what they look like, so how can you expect to connect with any of them?”
“And what ought I to be noticing? Since you seem to be the expert?” His lips quirked slightly, and she was annoyed all over again. Just because she was unmarried herself didn't make it foolish to think she might know what she was talking about. Didn’t everyone keep saying what an observer she was?
“You need to think about all sorts of factors in choosing someone to marry,” Dorothy said.
“What kind of family is she from? That matters. What are her reasons for wanting to marry? What are the qualities of her character? What about her is intriguing or entertaining to you, and what about her irritates you?”
“I wouldn’t marry someone who irritates me.”
“Of course you would,” she told him. “Every living person irritates those around them from time to time. What you’re looking for isn’t a lady who has no flaws, because that doesn’t exist. You’re looking for flaws you can accept. Perhaps even flaws you enjoy?”
“Flaws I enjoy?” He cocked his head. “You’re going to have to explain that one.”
“Just look at Agnes and Gabriel,” she said. “Each of them has a bit of a temper from time to time. Agnes can be bossy, and Gabriel often fails to take anything as seriously as he should. Wouldn’t you agree?”
“I suppose I would,” he conceded.
“And yet, they adore one another,” Dorothy said. “And their marriage works very well. That isn’t because they aren’t aware of those flaws. It’s because they’ve learned to enjoy them.”
Nathaniel sat back in his chair. “I was right about you,” he mused.
Dorothy felt uncomfortable. “What do you mean, right about me?”
“I mean that I always knew you were keenly aware of everything around you,” he said. “I knew it from the first time we met. I could see the way you paid attention to everything that was going on. I should have known when I saw you in those curtains that something would come of it.”
“I told you I was sorry for reporting that list,” Dorothy said.
“I know,” Nathaniel replied. “And yet, you can’t deny that it is your fault I’m in the position I’m in now.” He paused. “But you can make it up to me.”
Dorothy’s skin prickled. “How would you have me do that?” If he asked for anything she didn’t like, she’d send him off at once.
But she found herself hoping that his request would be one that she’d be willing to accommodate, if only to make amends for her misstep.
She really did regret the fact that she had published his list. She was so used to going unnoticed.
It surprised her that he had picked up on anything at all about her.
That he had paid enough attention to her to know her at all.
And he’s right about me. Everything he’s saying is true.
“You seem to understand how a gentleman ought to search for a wife better than I do,” he said. “Certainly you understand it better than my friends do. It was their idea to make a list in the first place, you know…heaven knows how either of them ever managed to marry.”
Dorothy did not remark on that. Her friends loved their husbands deeply, and she felt the two gentlemen were worthy of that love—but she couldn’t have explained it to Nathaniel or to anyone else.
She didn’t fully understand herself how it had come to be.
All she knew was that Agnes and Violet had found perfect matches.
“What are you asking me to do?” she said.
“I’m asking you to be my advisor as I look for a wife. Nothing more. Counsel me.”
Dorothy bit her lip. “I can try,” she said at last. It did make sense for her to take on that task.
It would mean spending more time with Nathaniel, but since their friends were all married to each other, that was bound to happen anyway.
“But you’ll have to tell me what you’re looking for in a wife.
It can’t just be looks. What kind of lady do you want? ”
He didn’t meet her eyes when he replied.
“I have a child to care for,” he said. “I need someone who can be a mother to a child—and who can do so without requiring much from me. It’s not a wife I want, really—it’s a mother.
What I need is a lady who doesn’t care for romance or love, but who is equipped to be a good mother. ”
Dorothy tried not to let her surprise show. She managed a nod of understanding. But her thoughts were whirling.
Nathaniel has a child?