Chapter 21 #2
But as she wandered through the west wing, her steps slowed.
It was too quiet for that time of day. Her slippers padded soundlessly over the runner, her fingers grazing the wainscoted wall as she made her way toward his studio.
She had only ever seen the room from the outside, always closed, always sacred. Today, the door was slightly ajar.
She paused. Voices. Low, male. Sharp.
Curiosity was her worst sin. Her mother had always said it when Kitty was simply a child, laughing. Kitty moved closer, wanting to know what was happening inside Norman’s studio.
Something in the tone of the voices kept her still, as though her heels had sunk into the floorboards.
“A woman like that comes with an impressive dowry,” said a voice she didn’t recognize—polite, but edged with menace. “In fact... I dare say I ought to be compensated for the delay in payment. A duke dragging his heels—shocking business. I believe double the sum would be just enough.”
Kitty blinked. Her hands trembled. Double the amount? What amount? What was this man talking about?
“You’re here to blackmail me.” Norman said, and Kitty could tell he was barely containing his anger.
There was a silence so thick she could almost feel it through the wood.
Kitty pressed a hand to her mouth. Norman was in debt? No—worse, someone was blackmailing him?
Kitty’s heart pounded. Her mind spun in frantic circles. Her father—her father would feel deceived and never allow her to marry him. Would he call off the engagement? And what of Norman? Had he been pretending all this time? Was the play a distraction, or was the marriage?
A chair scraped. Heavy footsteps. Kitty jolted backward just in time to avoid being seen as Norman called for the butler. She ducked behind a tall pedestal, heart thudding, breath caught.
Brown exited first, face twisted in something between a smile and a grimace. The butler followed, straight-backed, grim.
She waited until their steps faded.
And then she ran.
Down the hall, up a flight of stairs, skirts clutched in her fists. She didn’t stop until she reached the safety of the upper corridor, and from there she darted into the music room—a place she often found Jane in the late mornings.
And there she was. Calm, serene Jane, her hands moving delicately over the keys of the pianoforte.
Kitty flung the door shut behind her.
Jane turned. “Kitty! What—”
“Jane. I—I just heard something.” Kitty felt winded. Her hair had come loose around her face. “Something... horrible.”
Jane stood, moving to her quickly. “Sit down. What is it? Are you unwell?”
Kitty nodded, then shook her head. “I was going to ask His Grace to rehearse with me—and I overheard a conversation. A man was with him. He was asking for money—blackmailing him, I think.” Kitty swallowed. “He said he wanted twice the amount Norman owed him. Twice, Jane!”
Jane said nothing at first. Her hands were folded neatly in front of her. Her gaze remained level.
Kitty surged to her feet again. “He said my dowry would help pay the debt. That the duke would receive it, and that man came to claim part of it.”
Jane finally spoke, her voice even. “Are you certain that is what you heard?”
“I wouldn’t have run here if I weren’t.”
There was a long pause.
“Do you wish to call off the engagement?”
Kitty blinked. “What?”
“Do you wish to end it? Because your father would, if you told him. We would support you, if you asked. You know that.”
Kitty stared at her. “You say that as if I were property.”
Jane lowered her eyes. “I say it as someone who knows how society works.”
Kitty turned to pace. Her heart would not slow. “It changes everything. Doesn’t it? If he is marrying me for money? If he’s lying to me?”
Jane tilted her head. “Has he lied? Or have you assumed much and asked little?”
The words struck like ice. Kitty sat again, slowly.
“He protected me,” she whispered. “After the garden, when Grewin attempted to take advantage of me. And yesterday…with Grewin, again. All those times he stood up for me in front of Cynthia. He even stood up to his own grandmother because of me… He threw this whole engagement party for me. He chose to marry me, despite my almost ruined reputation and the whispers that followed me. Oh, Jane, I have been so selfish.”
“You’re being too hard on yourself.”
“And he has never asked me for anything. Not for the dowry, not for favors, not even for affection.”
“This is true.”
“But... he has debts. He could be ruined. And he didn’t tell me.”
Jane softened. “You speak as though he owes you all of himself already.”
Kitty rubbed her hands over her face. “I don’t know what I want. I thought I did, before. I thought I wanted to escape this marriage, to be free, to act. And now I am here, with him, and it’s all... it’s all different.”
Jane moved to sit beside her. “People change when they are loved.”
“I do not love him,” Kitty said quickly. Too quickly.
Jane didn’t comment.
Kitty swallowed. “But if my father knew...”
“Would he ruin Norman, or simply drag you away from him?”
The question was a blade. Kitty closed her eyes. “He would take me. And then ruin his reputation.”
Jane’s voice was gentle. “Then perhaps the question is not what your father would do, but what you must do.”
Kitty’s looked up. “Do I protect Norman… or do I protect my own wishes?”
Jane looked at her gently. “I think, ever since you met him, your wishes have changed.”
Kitty’s throat tightened.
“Perhaps,” Jane continued, “protecting him is part of protecting yourself now.”
For a long time, Kitty didn’t move. She just sat, letting the silence settle around them like snow.
Finally, she rose.
“Then I must speak to him.”
Jane nodded. “That would be wise.”
Kitty walked to the door, her hand on the knob. She didn’t open it yet.
“Jane?”
“Yes?”
“If I tell him I overheard everything... he might hate me.”
“Or he might not.”
Kitty turned the handle slowly. “I don’t know what will happen.”
Jane smiled softly. “Then, for once, let that unfold on its own.”
And with that, Kitty stepped into the corridor, heart pounding anew.