Chapter 14 Your Sisterly Duty
YOUR SISTERLY DUTY
DELILAH
Delilah:
I need your help, and since you are engaged to marry my little brother, that makes you legally my sister. I don’t have any other sisters, but I’m pretty sure it means you are obligated to drop everything and help me. It is your sisterly duty.
Dottie Lynn:
Consider everything dropped. What’s up? Do you need me to come out there? Because my friend’s husband has a private jet so I can get to Tennessee in a jiffy.
Delilah:
You’ll take any excuse to name-drop your billionaire posse, won’t you?
Dottie Lynn:
Pretty much. Did I tell you that James gave me his credit card to cover the expenses for a launch party he had me plan and forgot to ask for it back? That thing has no limit, Delilah! I’ve booked half the wedding vendors with it.
Delilah:
Dottie, can you please focus?
Dottie Lynn:
Does Sadie need a pony? Or maybe a Rolls-Royce? How about an outdoor sauna for you? I’m telling you, he won’t even notice.
Delilah:
DOTTIE LYNN!
Dottie Lynn:
Oh, she’s middle-naming me! Right. Okay. I’m focused. What do you need my help with?
Delilah:
I want to have sex with Ivy but I don’t know how.
Dottie Lynn:
…okay. Okay. Okay.
Delilah:
Can you say anything besides ‘okay’?
Dottie Lynn:
Okay. You and Ivy have never had sex?
Delilah:
WHAT? No! What the hell? We’re best friends, and I’m married. Separated. Getting divorced. Whatever. When would we have had sex? And why????
Dottie Lynn:
Literally anytime, and because you two have clearly been hot for each other for years. I just assumed that maybe when you were younger or now that you live together…sharing a bed…
Delilah:
How do you know we’re sharing a bed?
Dottie Lynn:
You told me when you moved in. And your brother is working on the plans for the expansion. Since they haven’t started work on the nursery or the extra bedroom yet, I assumed you’re still sleeping together. And, you know, *sleeping together*.
Delilah:
We’re not *sleeping together*. I mean we’re sleeping together, but we’re not *sleeping together*. But I want to sleep with her. So help me. How do I do it?
Dottie Lynn:
While I can see why you would come to me in a situation like this, since your only other friend is the subject of this conversation…
unfortunately, I am straight. I don’t know if I’m the best person to discuss your nerves about eating pussy with because I’ve never done it, nor have I had the impulse to try.
I can start a group chat with my friend Georgie if you want?
She’s bi, so she might have some better input.
Delilah:
Do NOT start a group chat with any of your friends, Dottie Lynn!
This conversation stays between you and me.
I had to listen to you and my brother dry hump through a very thin wall all through high school.
I heard things I can never unhear because of you, so I think you owe me this.
And I’m not asking you for cunnilingus advice, you fucking weirdo.
If that were my only concern, I’d just google it.
There has to be some kind of forum or online course that will teach me how to eat a woman out properly without making an idiot of myself.
Dottie Lynn:
I think the pregnancy hormones have made you a little cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.
Delilah:
Oh, yeah. They’ve got me absolutely wrecked. This morning I put my underwear on backwards three times before I finally got it right, and when they were finally properly situated, I cried like a baby.
Dottie Lynn:
Ugh, I can’t wait to be pregnant one day. It sounds so magical.
Delilah:
Yes, but in order for my brother to impregnate you, you have to convince him to have sex with you. Which brings me back to the topic at hand. How did you do it?
Dottie Lynn:
Uh, these days I pretty much breathe in Stephen’s direction and he’s hot to trot. Is this TMI? This feels like TMI. Are you sure you don’t want to talk to one of my friends? Or anyone who is not sleeping with your blood relation?
Delilah:
Omg Dottie Lynn Hart I am going to kill you.
Dottie Lynn:
Can you just call me? I feel like we’re getting nowhere here…
Delilah:
No I can’t call you. My child is sitting across from me eating strawberry jam from the jar with a spoon.
I can’t say these things out loud, so focus.
You and Stephen were best friends until you weren’t.
How did you bridge the gap? How did you tell him that you wanted to be more than just friends?
Weren’t you terrified of ruining everything?
Dottie Lynn:
Well, Stephen and I were fifteen the first time we kissed, and from that very moment he was my boyfriend.
I don’t think we had the time or the frontal lobe development to worry about ruining our friendship.
But honestly? It was easy. It was like one day, Stephen was this handsome boy who gave me butterflies in my stomach and not just the boy who liked to dig for worms in the dirt with me.
Delilah:
Okay, well what about the second time around? How did you get back together?
Dottie Lynn:
This might come as much of a shock to you as it did for me, but we had to talk about it. All the passing glances and brushed hands and stolen kisses mean nothing unless you can talk about your feelings with the person you want to be with.
That’s what you want, right? To be with Ivy? Or is it really just a horny sex thing?
Delilah:
No, it’s not just a horny sex thing. I think there’s a part of me that always wondered and now…
now I don’t want to wonder anymore. I’m finally free to act on this feeling that’s been buzzing in my ear for years, but I still feel like my hands are tied.
What if she doesn’t feel the same way? What if it doesn’t work out and everything gets weird? Maybe I should let this go.
Dottie Lynn:
You want my advice on something, Delilah? Don’t let it go. Talk to Ivy, tell her how you feel. If you really want to be with Ivy in a romantic way, she deserves to know. Either way, you can’t make this choice one-sided. That’s not fair to either of you.
Delilah:
What if she rejects me? What if I tell her everything I’m thinking and it ruins our friendship?
Dottie Lynn:
That’s a risk you have to decide if you’re willing to take. But Delilah, I think you should learn from my mistakes. I mean, sure, Stephen and I are happy now. But I missed out on ten years with him because I made assumptions about his feelings without talking to him.
Delilah:
Dottie, you were eighteen. No one can blame you for being scared of the tough stuff.
Dottie Lynn:
Exactly. I was eighteen then. We’re grown now. We have to know better and do better. So I think you should be a grown-up and give Ivy the option to reject you before you go and do it yourself. Because falling in love with your best friend? Oh, Delilah. There is nothing like it.