Chapter Fourteen
Constance decided to ride out to Dunburgh Castle to blow away the cobwebs and try to improve her mood. She was letting the silly words of those women at the ball upset her far more than she wished, and her grandmother had begun to notice the change in her disposition.
"Are you sure the Earl has not done something or said something to upset you?" she’d asked again over breakfast, three days after that wretched ball. "If he has behaved improperly—"
"He has not. Do not worry, Grandmamma. I have just been feeling unwell, but I’m sure I’ll be better soon."
You’re being ridiculous, she told herself as she rode across the coastal path a little faster than was sensible for the terrain. The wind whipped her cloak’s hood back, the salt in the air stinging her eyes, but she breathed it in, relishing the freedom.
"He’s a friend, nothing more. Nothing they said changes anything."
She wished her sister were there. While her pretty younger sibling often stole the limelight, she was also Constance’s best friend, and always had comforting words and a dose of confidence to give in difficult times.
And yet Constance wasn’t sure she could admit to anyone that she had been foolish enough to think the Earl might be attracted to her; that she had even wondered whether marriage between them was a real possibility. She could think herself a fool, but she did not wish others to do so.
She had visited the ruins of the castle before, but that didn’t make them any less spectacular.
With the backdrop of the sea behind them, and the sun beating down upon her, the sight was breathtaking.
She wandered the perimeter, running her fingertips across the ancient stones, imagining the people who had once lived there, the life they would have led. It was such a shame that it had fallen into ruin rather than being preserved like other local castles, and yet still she appreciated its beauty.
She sat for a while, admiring the view that the inhabitants would once have had when the castle was standing. As with all of Northumberland’s castles, it was built to keep watch over the border, and from here you could see for miles across land and sea.
She found herself turning in the direction she thought Gracewood lay, searching for it on the horizon. What was Ezra doing? Would she see him again? Or would he think her rude for having left the ball without saying a word?
She had been upset by what the women had said – she was still upset, if truth be told – but she had accepted the truth she had always known. And she didn’t see that it meant she and Ezra could not be friends.
She just wanted to see him.
As if she had conjured him, she turned to find him walking along the coastal path in just his shirt and breeches, the sleeves billowing a little in the breeze.
What was he doing here? Was he looking for her? But how could he have known…?
She was afraid he would walk right past the castle, for he seemed intent on his path, and yet she was not brave enough to call out to him.
She watched him stride along, mesmerised by his strong, lean figure as he made quick work of the path, looking determined.
Where was he going? This was a long way from his castle, and it was such a warm day.
And then, when she thought he would disappear over the hill and never know she was there, he suddenly turned his head sharply, and their eyes met.
She gasped at the force of the feeling that shot through her. And then he smiled broadly and immediately walked towards her, his clean-shaven face full of joy.
She was smiling too – she could feel it, and she could not control it. There was something about him that simply cheered her soul.
"What a surprise to see you here!" he called out when he was close enough to be heard.
"Well, you know how I love castles," she said with a smile.
"Of course – although this one, as fine as it is, I do not think is quite up to Gracewood’s standards. Could do with a roof, you know?"
She giggled in spite of herself.
"I looked for you at the Assembly Rooms."
Constance bit her lip. She had told herself she wasn’t being rude, that he wouldn’t notice she was gone. Clearly, she had been wrong in that.
"We went home earlier than planned," she began, feeling a wave of sadness that they had not had that second dance she had been so looking forward to, and at the same time reminding herself that he was only being polite.
She did not want to let her heart run away with her again. "I felt a little under the weather."
Ezra frowned. "I am sorry to hear that. I trust you are fully recovered now?"
"I’m much better, thank you," Constance said, finding it harder to lie about her fake illness to him than she had done to her grandmother, although she didn’t really know why.
And it wasn’t really a lie. She had felt unwell – sick to the stomach by the words of the women who did not know she was listening.
"Did you enjoy the ball?" she asked, feeling like she ought to move the conversation forwards.
"I did…and I saw an old friend in the card room, so that was pleasant. I confess, I left not long after I realised you had gone. I’m not sure any of the other ladies would be as forgiving about my atrophied dancing skills as you."
He laughed, and she felt herself blushing in spite of herself. He shouldn’t be able to make the blood rise to her cheeks so easily, and yet he could. Fairly effortlessly, she was sure.
"Your dancing has very much improved since that first time," she said, then wondered if that was rude, acknowledging that his dancing had not been up to snuff when they had first danced. "I mean to say—"
But Ezra chuckled. "I thought, after the number of times I stood on your toes, I should probably put in a little practice. Just remind myself of the steps before being faced with a room of beautiful women and the music swelling in my ears."
He’s calling you beautiful, a voice said in her head, but at the same time another pointed out, he’s calling all the women beautiful, not just you.
"Did you enjoy the ball?" he asked.
"Yes, very much, until—" She stopped herself.
"Until what?"
"Until I fell ill," she finished hurriedly.
"But yes, before that, I was having a wonderful time.
" Had she ever said that before? About a ball?
Certainly not in London. She only went to balls because she was told to, because it was what was expected.
And yet now she had found herself going because she wanted to.
It was certainly a rather strange sensation.
"Well then, it is a shame you had to miss the end of it. But there will be others, I am sure."
Constance nodded. "Yes, I am sure there will be."
◆◆◆
Ezra didn’t know the truth, but he felt as though she were lying about being ill.
But if that were the case, he did not understand why she had left.
She said herself she’d been having a good time.
And she had promised him another dance. Still, at least it did not seem like he had offended her, for she was perfectly amiable today.
What luck to run into her on one of his long walks around the coastline.
It almost felt like fate…if he believed in such a thing.
"You should come to tea," he found himself blurting out, keen to find a way to see her again, without the pressure of waiting for another ball or social gathering that they might both happen to be attending.
"Would you come to tea," he said, slightly more composed, "on Friday? My mother would love to get to know you better, I’m sure.
" He was not sure of anything of the sort, but it seemed more appropriate for his mother to be there.
And if he had offended her in some way, he wanted to make it clear he could stick to the rules of propriety.
"Oh," Constance said, looking a little surprised. Well, he supposed he had rather startled her out of the blue. "If you’re sure it won’t be an inconvenience…"
He shook his head. "Not at all. We’d be delighted to have you. And you can see the castle again," he said with a grin.
She smiled at him, thankfully seeming to find his little joke funny. "Well then. In that case, it would be lovely, thank you." She glanced up at the sky where the sun was beginning to drop lower, and then back at him. "If I’m to be home before nightfall, I think I should leave soon, I’m afraid."
He nodded, because although he was disappointed she had to leave, he wanted her to be safe. And darkness did fall quickly, even at this point in the spring, once the sun began to set.
"Of course. And I should be on my way – it takes me a while to get home on foot."
"Do you need a ride?" Constance asked, glancing at her horse.
As tempting as that proposition was, Ezra thought it best to leave things as they were. He did not want to offend or upset her, especially given that he did not know what had gone wrong the last time they had seen one another.
"Thank you, but no. I’m happy to walk. But I’ll see you Friday, yes?"
She gave him a brilliant smile that made his heart feel as though it might burst. "Definitely," she said, and he walked away a far happier man than he had been when he had first approached Dunburgh Castle.