Chapter Eighteen
"The earl won’t be able to take his eyes off you," Charity said, as Lucy put the finishing touches to her hair.
She was wearing a new purple gown, one she had purchased when she had visited Amblewood with her grandmother and sister.
It had been rather more expensive than her usual gowns, but her grandmother had insisted that she ought to have it – even offering to pay for it.
"I couldn’t let you do that!" Constance said, running her fingers across the fine fabric. "I have enough in my dress allowance. After all, I’ve saved a fortune by not being out in London this Season."
"Well, there you go then. Miss Corda is the best around – I’m confident you will be pleased with her creation."
"Well, I may not have saved money this year, but I think I deserve a new dress too," Charity had said, selecting a rose-coloured fabric for herself. "After all, we want to make a good impression on the county, do we not?"
Constance knew that her sister would take any opportunity to buy a new gown, but she couldn’t help but smile. Charity always made a good impression, wherever she went. She was the sister everyone remembered – and Constance had no doubt that she would be the diamond of Northumberland society.
Seated at the dressing table in the bedchamber she had been occupying at her grandmother’s house, Constance blushed.
She could not deny that she had spent the money on a new dress with the thought of Ezra seeing her in it.
And her sister was always complimentary, but she hoped she was truthful, too.
"Don’t be silly," she said, because she felt she had to.
"Grandmamma is right – there is something between you two, and don’t try to deny it. I know you too well, sister."
Charity was right, of course – but Constance didn’t want to acknowledge it out loud, because she knew she was wrong to feel anything.
And certainly wrong to hope he might. If he had felt a spark between them, she was sure he would have realised that she was not really suitable to be a countess; that his mother was right to disapprove of her.
"You do know me, Constance. And I know you." Charity met her sister’s eye in the looking glass. "And I want to know the real reason you’re here. What happened this Season that made you travel all the way here?"
"I told you – I missed you," Constance said.
"Whilst that’s very sweet, Constance, I’m afraid I don’t believe you.
We’ve been apart for this long before. Something has happened – something that made you want to get away.
Or made Father want you to leave. He wasn’t happy about me missing the Season; I cannot imagine he would willingly let you go unless there was good reason. "
Charity sighed and sat down on the bed, her skirts crumpling beneath her.
"You’re always so perceptive, Constance. It can be quite annoying, you know."
Constance laughed good-naturedly. "I know. Now – are you going to tell me what it is?"
"It’s nothing, really. Father is overreacting, as always."
Constance frowned. Her father was not known to be prone to histrionics.
"Oh?"
"There was a man… Lord Cinder," Charity began, wringing her hands. "He started courting me on the first day of the Season – turning up with flowers, asking me to dance every time we met. It was flattering, I won’t deny it."
"And?" Constance asked, turning to face her instead of speaking through the looking glass. "Did he change his mind? Or show improper interest?"
"No…he asked me to marry him," she said softly.
Constance gasped. "And Father wasn’t happy? Or you said no?"
"He was happy with the proposal," Charity said, biting her bottom lip, "especially as he had caught me kissing Lord Cinder earlier that day."
"Oh, Charity," Constance admonished. "You’re going to get yourself into trouble one day. But I don’t understand – what’s the problem, if he proposed and Father is happy with the match?"
"Oh yes, he’s happy. It’s a good match, and I think he’s pleased at the idea of getting me off his hands. But the problem is… I said no."
Constance blinked. "You said no? You kissed the man, and he proposed, but you don’t wish to marry him?"
"You don’t understand, Constance. You’ve never been kissed."
Constance felt her cheeks burn at this attack from her sister. She knew it wasn’t meant to be cruel – simply a statement of fact – but it felt like a reminder of how much plainer, how much less desirable, she was than Charity.
"No, I have not," Constance said primly. "Because such a thing can ruin a woman – and I don’t want to be forced into a marriage, thank you very much."
"Oh, don’t take offence, Connie. I just mean you can’t understand my position. Yes, I kissed him – but I felt nothing. No romance, no fireworks, no desire for more."
"Charity!" Constance exclaimed, rather shocked by the direction her sister’s conversation was taking. "You must not—"
"I just mean that I do not believe, having kissed him, that it would work between Lord Cinder and me. I don’t think we would be happy – and so I said no to his proposal."
"And so Father sent you here?"
Charity sighed. "I really did miss you, Constance. But he thinks I need to consider my choices – to reconsider Lord Cinder’s offer. And he means to keep me out of trouble…"
"I’m not sure there’s anywhere you would be kept out of trouble," Constance said dryly. "But I’m glad I know the full story."
"I don’t think I could love him, Constance, and I don’t want to marry him. Not for one kiss – one terrible kiss at that. You’ll help me, won’t you? Talk to Father if you must, persuade him that this would be a folly?"
"I can try – although I don’t know what good it will do. But you must be more circumspect in future. You cannot go around kissing every man to see whether he would be a good fit."
Charity folded her arms and stuck out her bottom lip, looking more like a petulant child than she had in years.
"I don’t see why. It’s only a kiss – it’s hardly dangerous. And why shouldn’t a woman know whether she is compatible with a man before agreeing to marry him?"
Constance sighed. "Because it’s not the way things are done, Charity. You will find yourself getting a reputation, and unable to make a good match. You do not want that, I assure you."
She believed the words she said – and yet…
She could not help but think of what it would be like to kiss Ezra, and whether they would be compatible.
She knew so little of such matters, and yet she rather thought that he was capable of making her feel all the things that were missing for Charity and Lord Cinder.