Chapter Twenty-Seven
Constance repeated each word reverently, hardly able to believe that she was really saying them.
She had heard the marriage service several times in the past, and she had always found herself watching the bride to see if she looked nervous, excited, confident.
But she had not, as she thought other women had, imagined herself in the bride’s place.
She supposed that she’d thought she would marry someday, but it had never been something she had particularly dwelt upon.
And she had thought it rather more likely that she would be a spinster aunt to her sister’s inevitable future children.
But no. Her sister was sitting in the first pew with her father, and it was Constance who was marrying an earl.
She met his gaze and her heart raced, and she found it hard to finish saying the words that needed to come from her lips.
She had not anticipated that anyone would ever look at her like that.
Indeed, it was hard to truly believe that he was looking at her – plain Constance – with such warmth in his eyes, with such fervour.
She half expected to turn and find a more attractive, more exciting woman behind her.
But no. It was just the two of them, standing at the front of the church before the locals and a few friends and family, and she was really and truly about to become the Countess of Gracewood – and Ezra’s wife.
◆◆◆
Back at Gracewood Castle, Soames was overseeing an impressive wedding breakfast, especially considering the speed with which it had been organised.
Ezra made a mental note to thank Mrs Porter for the work she had surely put in.
The food looked delicious, and the room was beautifully decorated with flowers too.
It seemed everyone was as keen as he was to make the new countess feel welcome.
Constance, he realised, was not beside him. He turned and spotted her with her sister hovering at the edge of the room, looking a little unsure.
He doubled back on himself and held out a hand to her.
"We mustn’t hide from our guests, wife," he said, and she blushed and giggled and took his hand.
"I suppose not," she said, with an apologetic glance towards her sister. "I am not used to being the centre of attention."
He squeezed her hands.
"Nor am I. But after today, we needn’t do so regularly, I promise."
"I’m so happy for you," a feminine voice said, and he turned to find the Duke and Duchess of Coldingham entering – the Duchess rather pulling the Duke along in her wake as she hurried to greet the newly married couple.
"I knew at the dinner, didn’t I, Nate? I said – anyway, never mind all that. I’m very pleased for you both, and excited to have such a lovely couple nearby for social occasions. London’s not a patch on Northumberland, is it!" she said with a laugh.
"Not at all," the Duke and Duchess of Dunloch said, entering behind them. "I cannot imagine why anyone would want to go to such a busy city when there is such beauty and society here in Northumberland – and across the border, of course."
"Well said," Ezra said, raising his glass. "To the wonderful society in Northumberland, and never needing to go to London."
◆◆◆
She knew Ezra had been out of society for some time, and yet he had such an ability to charm, to put everyone at ease, to make everyone laugh. She felt dull by comparison, and wondered – certainly not for the first time – why on earth he had wanted to marry her.
He was the handsome, funny, intelligent Earl of Gracewood. He could have had any wife he chose – so why would he choose her?
"You’re hiding again."
Constance jumped as her sister Charity threaded her arm through hers and pulled her away from her usual position as a wallflower.
"I don’t mean to."
"Hard to break the habit of a lifetime, I’m sure. But these people are here to see you; you mustn’t shrink away from them all."
Constance shook her head.
"They’re here to see Ezra, really."
"Constance, you are the bride. They’re here to see you the most. And Ezra only has eyes for you, so you must try to stop pulling away from him. He loves you – you can see that, right?"
Constance nodded. "I can… I just don’t really understand why."
Charity sighed. "I could give you twenty reasons why, but we don’t have time for that right now. And it doesn’t really matter whether you understand why or not – what matters is that it’s true. He loves you, and you love him, and you mustn’t look so terrified."
Constance smiled. How well her sister knew her.
"I’ll try," she promised, before allowing her sister to push her into the centre of the room, beside her husband.
◆◆◆
"If I could have your attention for a moment," Ezra said, and the room fell quiet, with all eyes on the earl and his wife by his side. She shrank away from the attention, but he kept hold of her hand, keeping her beside him while he addressed them all.
"Thank you all for joining us on this special day. I think it is fair for me to say that neither Constance nor I expected this. Indeed, when she broke into my castle, she didn’t expect to find anybody here at all."
There was a ripple of laughter from those in the room who knew the story, and Constance felt her cheeks flush red.
"But life surprises us when we least expect it, and I must take a moment to toast the beautiful, intelligent, incredible Lady Gracewood – the woman who made it worth coming back out into the world, and the woman who has brought life back into this castle, and back to me.
Please, raise your glasses to the new and incomparable Lady Gracewood. "
Tears sprang to her eyes at the strength of emotion in his words, and although it was hard to be the centre of attention, it was rather wonderful to hear him speak so.
Their guests applauded and raised their glasses, repeating her name, and then – thankfully – returned to their conversations, allowing her to slip into the corridor to get a breath of fresh air after such an overwhelming morning.
"Ah, Lady Gracewood."
Soames did not, of course, forget her new title, even if it still sounded rather foreign to her own ears.
"Is there anything I can get you?"
She shook her head and gave him a weak smile.
"No, thank you. I just need a moment."
The butler bowed his head.
"Of course, my lady. Your belongings have arrived from Lady Basingstoke’s house, as well as those your father brought from London."
"That’s good," she said, feeling a little breathless and wishing she had a fan with her.
"I shall have your maid unpack them in the countess’s chamber, if it pleases your ladyship."
She was about to agree – since the butler obviously knew what he was doing – but then she stopped herself.
"Actually, would you be able to get Ezra – I mean, Lord Gracewood – for me, before anything is unpacked?"
"Of course, my lady."
She did not miss the concerned look on her husband’s face when he found her in the hallway, and she smiled to reassure him.
"Are you unwell?" he asked, hurrying to her side. "Soames said you needed me, and–"
"I think I will always need you," she said, and then blushed. "Sorry, I don’t know why I said that."
He grinned at her, looking at ease now.
"Well, I shall always need you, so I’m pleased to hear it."
"I just needed some air, with all those people looking at me…and after your speech…"
"You disliked what I said?" he asked with a frown.
Constance shook her head.
"Not at all. I just found it a little overwhelming. And then Soames said my belongings have arrived."
"Well, that’s a good thing, isn’t it?"
"It is. But he was going to send them up to the countess’s chamber…and I thought we should talk about it first."
Ezra visibly swallowed, and pulled at his cravat as if it were suddenly too tight.
"Well, you are the countess."
Constance nodded.
"But that doesn’t mean we have to occupy the earl and countess’s chambers, does it?"
His eyes met hers, and she hoped she was not wrong in raising this with him – hoped he would not think it impertinent of her to change things when she was only just the mistress of this place. But it had been on her mind since he had asked her to marry him, and she could not leave it unsaid.
"You don’t like to step across the threshold of that room, or the nursery," she said, her mouth dry from speaking so honestly. Yet he wasn’t disagreeing.
"This is a grand castle, with many, many rooms. Surely the earl and countess’s chambers – and the nursery, for that matter – can be wherever we wish them to be? Somewhere in the castle where you will not be haunted by the past, when we are looking to the future?"
He looked to the floor and was silent, and she feared she had said entirely the wrong thing.
"Of course, if I am wrong, ignore me. We will inhabit whichever rooms you wish. I just thought—"
"You’re not wrong," he murmured, taking her hands in his and raising his eyes from the floor.
"You know, I had never thought to simply relocate within the castle. I had thought I would simply have to deal with my aversion to those rooms, and pretend it did not bother me. You truly don’t mind giving up what should be yours? "
She brought one hand to her lips and kissed it, feeling surprisingly bold by his agreement with her.
"I have gained so much, and if it makes you happy, I would give up far, far more than a bedchamber I have never even inhabited."
"You make me happy, my love," he said, and then pulled her to him for a kiss that was certainly not appropriate with their friends and family on the other side of the wall – and which made Constance feel even more warm and out of breath than she had done previously.
"Come, we should return to the celebrations," he said, stepping away from her but keeping hold of her hand. "We can choose new rooms later. Wherever you want in the castle – just say the word. I do love you," he said, pressing one kiss to her cheek before leading her towards the door.
"And I love you," Constance said, surprised at how easy the words were to say, and confident in her heart that they were the truest ones she had ever spoken.