Chapter 7 #2
Frederica did not even flinch, her gaze returning to his although her eyes were empty, not holding any life or vivacity, as he had always seen in Lady Nora’s gaze. “I was not in any bookshop. I took my walk in the park, that is all.”
“I am surprised that you would step out when you are still in mourning,” David continued, trying to make certain he did not sound either accusatory or harsh in his words. “I thought when you came to London, it was to stay within the townhouse, or so you said to me.”
Frederica’s eyes flashed to his and then away again.
“Does it trouble you very greatly if I step out of doors for a time?” she asked, her voice thin.
“I did not want to be at my father’s manor house alone, as you well know.
That is the only reason I have come to London, and I certainly do not intend to spend my days sitting in this house without company nor feeling the sunshine upon my face.
I am well able to take a short walk through the park and then return here whilst remaining entirely proper, as I ought. ”
David did not know what to say to this. His mouth opened and then closed again, surprised at the fervour with which she spoke.
She was quite right to state that she had done nothing wrong by walking through the park as she had done, for she had done nothing of the sort.
However, it was expressly against all she had said to him that she would do, especially when she had only been a few days in London.
“Another fellow came to call just before you arrived,” he said, thinking to change the subject. “A stocky man. He did not give his name, but he apologized most profusely for coming to call at an improper time. Did you forget that he was to come here? Were you to meet with him, as he said?”
Frederica’s fingers twisted into the fabric of her skirt. “I must have made a mistake in my arrangements.”
“Then you were to meet with this man?”
She nodded. “Yes, I was.”
David waited for a further explanation.
“The man is my father’s solicitor,” she continued, with a brief smile that did not linger. “No doubt you will be wondering why he and I are to meet alone, but it was only to discuss one or two particular matters that pertain solely to myself.”
Was it just to his ears, or was her voice rising as she spoke? Was there an anxiety present that she was doing her very best to hide? And if there was, then what was the cause of it?
“Frederica.” Trying to smile, he held her gaze steadily.
“Is there something that concerns you in all of this? I will not ask about what these personal matters are, of course, but if there is something that troubles you as regards your meeting with that man or your walk in the park earlier today, then you know that I am here and ready to listen to your troubles.”
She did not smile. Instead, her eyes tugged away from him again and looked down at the floor between them. “There is nothing of concern, I assure you.”
David hesitated, his lips twisting. He did not want to state outright that he did not believe her, but there was something more here; he was sure of it.
Perhaps, he considered, it was only grief that still tugged at her, that still weighed down her heart.
Perhaps all of this – the walk in the park and the meeting with her solicitor – were both bringing back painful memories in their own way.
David rubbed the back of his neck and let out a long breath, wishing that he could find a way to comfort her.
They were not at all closely acquainted, and he had never reached for her hand or embraced her tightly, as he had done with Lady Nora.
Their match was a practical one, made from requirement and duty and thus, there was no need for any intimate connection.
All the same, David wondered if he ought to offer her some sort of physical comfort, whether that be something simple as moving to sit next to her.
“I should ring for tea.” Frederica rose quickly from her chair and rang the bell, only to go to stand by the window rather than resume her seat, looking down at the street as he had done. “I do apologize for the confusion as regards your visit and the solicitor’s meeting with me. I quite forgot.”
“It is of no concern to me.” David got to his feet and walked slowly across the room towards her, carefully, the way one might approach a startled creature. “I am sorry that your grief is still so very heavy, Frederica. I would remove it from your shoulders, were I able to.”
Her eyes drifted away from his, then slowly moved back towards him. “There is nothing to be done,” she said, simply. “My father is gone, and I am left alone in the world.”
“You are not alone.” David reached out to take her hand, to let his fingers press hers lightly in what he hoped would be a gesture of comfort, but Frederica pulled away at once, turning on her heel and hurrying away from him.
The settee was her only refuge. David closed his eyes and dropped his chin to his chest, taking in a deep breath just as the door opened to bring in the tea tray.
He had no desire to have any physical nearness to Frederica, but at the same time, had a responsibility to comfort and reassure her.
She, in pulling away as she had done, was making it quite plain that she wanted him to stay far from her, to be at a distance from him, and David had no choice but to obey that.
However are we to have any semblance of a happy marriage when she will not even come near to me? He thought to himself, heavily. And what if there is more to her sorrow than she is willing to share?