Chapter 13 #2
“That is not to say that there was any impropriety between us once that engagement was announced, however. The only reason I am here now is so we might face this together, the three of us as one.”
Frederica shook her head no. “There is no purpose in that, Lady Nora. It is not as if the engagement is going to end.”
Something tightened in David’s stomach, seeing how Frederica shrugged lightly, turning her attention back towards Nora. Did she truly believe that all would continue as it had been? That they would marry, even now?
“I am promised to him and he to me,” she said, as Nora shot a glance towards David. “Our wedding will take place and – ”
“Frederica.” David rose from his seat, came towards her, and hunkered down, looking up into her pale face.
“Are you certain that is for the best? Do you not want the opportunity to make your own choice? There are so many gentlemen in London who would be honoured to have you as their bride.”
A tear slid down her cheek. “No,” she stated, her voice trembling. “I do not want to make my own choice. We must wed, Hampshire. It is what my father wanted.”
“But it is not what I want,” he told her, as she shuddered violently, then put her hand to her mouth to hold back the sob that threatened to escape.
“It would be unconscionable to commit myself to you when I am already in love with another. It would bring neither of us any happiness, Frederica. Surely you can see that?”
She stood up sharply, her skirts billowing around her. “I do not care about happiness, Hampshire! I care only about my future, which is one of safety and protection.”
“Frederica.” Before David could respond, before he could speak to her, Nora too rose to her feet and, taking the lady’s arm, looked straight into her eyes.
“What is it that has you so afraid?” she asked, the question direct but spoken with all gentleness. “Is it something to do with the man that I saw you with in the park? Mr. Rathbone?”
David’s eyebrows lifted, understanding precisely where Nora’s thinking had come from.
Yes, Frederica had insisted that they marry all the same – a troubling thought in itself, given the freedom they now both had – but that had not come from any concern over what the ton might say of it.
Nor had it been out of any sense of affection for him or he for her.
Instead, she had spoken only of safety, of her need to be protected.
What protection was it that she believed he could provide that another gentleman could not?
Frederica shook her head, her whole body shaking with sobs. “You cannot help me.” The words came from Frederica like a stone dropped into still water — flat, heavy, final.
She looked at Nora with eyes that held no anger, only an exhaustion so deep it was almost serenity. “Neither of you can. No one can. I thought you should know that before you waste any more of your kindness on a cause that is already lost.”
The silence that followed was terrible.
“I cannot,” she whispered, brokenly. “I cannot step away from you, Hampshire. It was what my father desired and you have a duty to honour that agreement. I will not and do not release you.” With another sniff, she lifted her gaze and fixed them to David, unsettling him with the sheer force of her glare. “We will marry.”
Without another word, she stalked from the room, her upset having heated to anger. David could do nothing more than watch her walk away, leaving him to stand alone with Nora.
He let out a slow breath, his spirits sinking. Whatever path lay ahead, it had just grown a good deal narrower.
“She is frightened of something, is she not?”
David looked at Nora, who held out her hand to him. Letting out a heavy sigh, he took her fingers in his and then brought them to his lips. “Yes, she is, but I do not know why.”
Nora gave him a small, sad smile. “It does not seem right for you to pull away from her now.”
The blood drained from his face. “You mean to suggest that I remain engaged to her? That I begin wedding preparations?”
She shook her head, her eyes damp. “No, that is not what I mean. I am afraid for her, concerned that, should you end your engagement publicly, something dreadful will happen. To my mind, it is to do with Mr. Rathbone.”
David hesitated, then nodded. “There is something I have not yet told you.”
Her eyes lifted to his.
“After I left Bolton’s office, I was walking past a coffee house on Threadneedle Street, and I heard his voice — Rathbone’s voice.
I stopped, and I listened. He was speaking with another man, a clerk of some kind.
He spoke of twelve years’ service to my uncle.
He spoke of a promise he believed had been made to him — land, coin, a settlement — and of his dismissal as a betrayal.
He said that he would have what he was owed, by whatever means he must, that he had always found other means.
” His jaw set. “He believes himself wronged, Nora. Truly believes it. And a man with that kind of conviction is not one who will be reasoned out of his course.”
Nora had gone very still.
“And now we know where he turns when he wants what he is owed,” she said quietly. “He turns to Frederica.”
“Yes.” David drew a slow breath. “Whatever hold he has on her, that is the source of it. He believes my uncle stole from him, and he means to take recompense from my uncle’s daughter.”
“Then she is right to be afraid,” Nora said quietly.
“Yes.” David’s hand tightened around hers. “And I cannot in good conscience leave her exposed to him. Not now. Not until we know what he has used to bind her.”
Nora squeezed his fingers.
Taking in a deep breath, David nodded and stared at the carpet.
He did not want to continue on in his engagement, did not want to have to continue on with this pretense, not when he had been so determined to set himself alongside Nora.
All the same, however, he recognized that she was right, that there was still a very real and legitimate concern over what would happen should he declare it.
“Then what should we do? If Frederica will not speak of it, then – ”
“Then we find out exactly what it is that Mr. Rathbone was speaking to Frederica about,” she interrupted, quietly.
“He is the one who holds all the answers to this, Hampshire. Once we know what it is that he holds over Frederica, once we can dissipate her fears, then you will be truly free. You both shall.”
David pushed out a long, slow breath from tight lungs, trying to ignore his frustration and upset and instead, think only of Frederica and the pain and shock she must now be experiencing.
“Then let us think on how to go about it all,” he said, as she smiled at him encouragingly.
“I should like her to be free from fear. I would like her to find a suitable match, a gentleman who adores her and who can offer her all the affection I cannot.”
“You are a gentleman who cares deeply for those close to you,” she murmured, taking a small step closer to him as every part of him strained toward her, desperate to close the distance between them. “That is what makes you worthy of all this.”
Drawing a steadying breath, David, with an effort, released her hand. “My very being wants to be close to you,” he said, tightly. “But I will not act on it. Not until I know for certain that I am free to do so.”
When he looked back at her, rather than displeasure or upset, there was a brilliant smile on her face, light shining in her eyes. Her forgiveness of their past struggle was something he fought hard to grasp, feeling it slip from his fingers as guilt and regret tore it from his hand.
“An honourable gentleman indeed,” she whispered, putting one hand to her heart. “And a kiss most certainly worth waiting for.”