Chapter 23
David had attended many weddings before this one and, thus, he had thought he would be suitably prepared for all that was to come. Part of him had believed that, whilst this wedding would be full of great solemnity, it would be so wonderful that he would not have any cause for nervousness.
He had been mistaken.
Standing at the very front of the small chapel, he clasped his hands behind his back and lifted his chin, gazing at the stone facade in front of him and trying to quieten the thump of his heart.
Outwardly composed, he took in a deep breath, his waistcoat feeling too tight, his pulse quickening despite his demands that it steady itself.
“You have no need to be anxious.”
David turned his head to see Lord Broadford smiling gently.
“I – ” He paused, having wanted to deny this suggestion but seeing the need to be truthful.
“I am plagued with what might have been, had I not found the truth about the codicil. If you had not questioned certain matters, if Nora had not urged me to seek out even the smallest wrinkle, then this day might never have come.” He kept his voice to a low murmur, so it blended with the others in the congregation, all waiting for Nora’s arrival.
“I do not know why my thoughts are so dark when this ought to be quite the opposite.”
Lord Broadford smiled. “But you did find the truth, Hampshire. Frederica has found happiness with Lord Dumfries. Nora is more than overjoyed. And whatever doubts haunted you have come to nothing — for here you are, at the front of the chapel, on the morning of your wedding to the woman you have loved for over a year.” Seeing that David was about to speak, he put a hand on his arm.
“All is right in every other regard, my friend. Do not allow the shadows of the past to steal what awaits you.”
Turning his head, he saw his beautiful bride coming towards him, radiant as she walked on her father’s arm. Her soft, ivory silk gown swayed gently with every step, her hair pulled back into gentle curls that boasted white and blue flowers.
I will not think of the past any longer, he resolved, his gaze full of her, his heart beating with sheer admiration and love for the lady coming towards him.
It holds me no longer. I am given what I have long desired, whether I deserve it or not.
I will commit to her and love her with all of my being, heart and soul, for that is all that she deserves, and more.
Her gaze caught his, shining and joyous.
David swallowed hard, his quiet thoughts already a vow yet unspoken.
Lord Somerset beamed at him, clearly delighted at this final step that would bring David and Nora together as husband and wife.
David inclined his head a fraction as Lord Somerset reached him, a sign of his respect for the gentleman and gratitude for the honour that was now to be bestowed on him.
He did not reach for Nora’s hand despite his longing, his heart aching with the restraint the ceremony placed upon him.
Forced to content himself with her nearness, David breathed in the warmth of her presence as they shared a smile.
He became aware that his hands, clasped behind his back, were fisted — the knuckles white, the tendons standing out like cords. He had been holding them that way for some time, he realised, as if bracing for a blow that was not coming.
He uncurled them. Finger by finger, deliberately, feeling the ache in his joints where the tension had been. He opened his hands and let them rest at his sides, palms out, feeling the cool air of the chapel against his skin.
The gesture was small. No one saw it. But it was, in its way, the most important thing he did that day.
I did what I believed was right. The thought came without the sting that usually accompanied it.
I failed in the manner of it — the letter, the cowardice, the year of silence — but the choice itself was not wrong.
And she has forgiven me for the manner of it.
She has forgiven me freely, fully, without condition.
He drew breath. It came easier than it had for months — filling his lungs without the constriction that had lived in his chest like an unwanted tenant, the tight band of guilt that pulled against each inhalation.
Then I will forgive myself.
The words settled. They did not transform everything at once — he was not so naive as to believe that a single thought could undo a year of self-recrimination — but they planted something.
A seed. A first step. The recognition that to nurse guilt past its season was not honour but self-indulgence — a quiet martyrdom that served no one, least of all the woman who was standing beside him, ready to become his wife.
He exhaled. His shoulders, which had been set in that rigid, military posture all morning, dropped a fraction. His jaw unclenched. The furrow between his brows — the one Nora teased him about, the one she said made him look like a man trying to solve a mathematical equation — smoothed.
“Dearly beloved,” the clergyman began as David’s full attention was forced to settle upon him rather than on Nora. “We are gathered together here in the sight of God, and in the face of this congregation, to join together this man and this woman in holy Matrimony.”
David stood very still, listening, the familiar words settling in him in a way he had not expected.
It was not the first time he had heard the marriage rites, of course, but this was the first time that it had ever been addressed to him.
The weight of it humbled him, reminding him of the gift he was being offered by taking Nora as his wife.
He glanced at her, seeing the soft curve of her lips as she closed her eyes briefly, perhaps feeling the very same awareness as he.
“Therefore,” the clergyman continued, his tone reverberating around the chapel, “if any man can show any just cause why they may not lawfully be joined together, let him now speak, or else hereafter forever hold his peace.”
David felt only the barest pause before the ceremony continued, making him smile. There was the requirement for such a thing to be read, of course, but he knew that there was no one to prevent this marriage. There was no codicil, no family duty, no expectation.
“Then, given that there is no impediment, we come to the vows.”
David met Nora’s eyes, catching the spark of eagerness that blossomed through her smile. This was the moment he had been praying for, longing for, hoping for – and it was now upon them.
“David, Earl of Hampshire,” the clergyman said, his voice steady.
“Wilt thou have this woman to thy wedded wife, to live together after God’s ordinance in the holy estate of matrimony?
Wilt thou love her, comfort her, honour, and keep her in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all other, keep thee only unto her, so long as ye both shall live? ”
“I will.” The sheer gravity of the promise settled in him, his determination ringing through each of the two words. This was a promise he wanted to make, eager now to step forward into a life with his love beside him.
“And you, Lady Nora,” the clergyman continued, turning to her, “wilt thou have this man to thy wedded husband, to live together after God’s ordinance in the holy estate of matrimony?
Wilt thou obey him, and serve him, love, honour, and keep him in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all other, keep thee only unto him, so long as ye both shall live? ”
Nora smiled, looking to David rather than the clergyman as she spoke. “I will.”
The eagerness in her tone undid him, longing desperately to sweep her up into his arms – but still, even at this juncture, they were separated.
“Who gives this woman to be married to this man?”
Lord Somerset’s broad smile had not faded. “I do.” Kissing his daughter’s cheek, he settled her hand in his, sending a rush of fierce tenderness right through David as he gripped her fingers as he steadied his breath.
“My Lord,” the clergyman continued, gesturing to him, “if you would repeat after me.”
David nodded, praying that he could trust his voice.
“I, David, take thee, Nora, as my wedded wife; to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God’s holy ordinance; and thereto I plight thee my troth. ”
Gazing into her eyes, David almost took a step closer to her, but, gritting his teeth, steadied himself as to where he was.
He wanted nothing more than to gather her close, but it was not yet time.
He listened as Nora repeated her vows after him, her voice trembling with emotion as she spoke words of promise and of love.
A slight nudge to his elbow had David opening his eyes.
Lord Broadford, a grin of delight on his face, handed David the simple ring.
Turning toward Nora again, he took her hand in his and gazed into her eyes.
“With this ring I thee wed,” he said, repeating after the clergyman.
“With my body I thee worship, and with all my worldly goods I thee endow.” As he spoke, he slipped the ring onto her finger and then enclosed her hand in his.
She blinked up at him, tears shining in her eyes as she smiled and, as he pressed her hand, a swell of devotion rushed through him.
“Let us pray.”
Reluctantly, David released her hand and knelt beside her as the clergyman spoke his blessing over them both. Finally, they rose, and David fixed his gaze upon the clergyman, fervent with eagerness to hear those final words spoken.