25. Kourtney
Kourtney
Freshman Year of College
“We should sell feet pics on the internet.”
An incredulous laugh rips from my throat. “That’s disgusting.”
Celeste blows out a stream of smoke between her lips before passing me the joint. “How is that disgusting?” She lifts her feet in the air and wiggles her toes. “Look how cute they are.”
I take a long drag. “How much money could we possibly make from that?”
Surely not enough to start our own business and pay off our student loans.
Celeste reaches over me and plucks her phone off the nightstand. “Let’s find out.”
I rest my head on her shoulder and watch as her thumbs dance across the screen. Dozens of websites dedicated to feet porn pop up in her browser within seconds.
My eyebrows jump. “Shit, this is an actual thing.”
“Told you.” Celeste clicks on the first link and browses the website. “It says you get to choose the price for your pictures. The more followers you get, the higher you can set the amount.”
I wrinkle my nose. “Would you really do that—post pictures of your feet, knowing some dude is jerking off on the other side of the screen?”
“It’s not just dudes.” Celeste snatches the joint from my fingertips for another toke. “Everyone has a fetish. Some people like feet.”
“I don’t think everyone has a fetish.”
“We all like something. Come on. When you watch porn, what do you like watching?”
I chew my bottom lip. “I don’t know. It’s just regular porn. I don’t like anything weird.”
“But who says what’s weird? That’s like using the word normal. It doesn’t exist.” She shrugs. “Who are we to judge what gets people off?”
She’s right. I hate the way I sound. Like my conservative parents.
I huff out a laugh. “Okay, fine. Feet pics it is.”
“There’s my girl.” Celeste grins. “Think about it: You’re not showing your face; you’d make more off one picture than you would working for minimum wage; and you’d set your own hours so nothing would interfere with school.”
“Those are some good points.” I close my eyes, relishing in the high. “Miss Spalding, how did you become so rich? Oh, I snapped some hot pics of my dogs and posted them on the internet.”
Celeste chuckles. “I mean, it doesn’t have to be feet either. There are people making bank on websites like this.”
“Doing what, exactly?”
“Whatever they want.” Celeste stubs out the joint in the ashtray. “You can show as much or as little as you’re comfortable with.”
Unease settles in my gut at the thought of taking my clothes off in front of a computer screen.
But at the same time, something else trickles through my veins.
Excitement? Curiosity?
“I wouldn’t want anyone to see my face.” I cover my face with my hands. “Oh god, imagine if one of our professors were on there?”
“You could wear a mask or keep the camera angled away from your face. I’ve seen it done.” Celeste nudges my leg with her knee. “Think about how much we could make if we did it together. People would eat that shit up.”
A small giggle bubbles up in my chest. “Men do love the girl-on-girl action.”
“Not just men. We’d have such a wide audience.”
I hum as I stretch my arms over my head, the hem of my shirt riding up over my navel. “Imagine being able to pay off all our student loans as soon as we graduate.”
“Imagine being able to buy a house.”
“Imagine being able to start our own business.”
Celeste skims her fingers over my bare stomach, trailing along the waistband of my shorts. “Imagine being able to make money just from getting yourself off.”
My thighs clench together at the thought of it.
Of Celeste touching me.
Of me touching her.
Of people watching us.
Celeste lets out a low chuckle. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”
A mixture of anticipation and fear slosh together in my stomach.
I would.
Celeste and I have been best friends for years, but I’ve recognized something more brewing under the surface for a while now.
I couldn’t define or explain it at first. I was in love with Jason, yet I felt jealous whenever Celeste dated other girls; when I saw them holding her hand, making her laugh, kissing her.
I told myself I was being ridiculous, that I only felt threatened because someone else was taking away my best friend.
It went beyond that though, and somewhere deep down inside me, I knew it.
But my feelings confused me. I chalked it up to being curious about the same sex and shoved it as far down as I could.
It’s not like we could’ve been together the way Jason and I were. My parents would’ve freaked.
But since we’ve been in college, I can feel the firm boundaries I’ve set around us slipping away. Maybe it’s the anonymity of being in a new town away from everyone I know. Maybe I’m feeling lonely because I miss Jason. Or maybe I’m finally ready to admit how I feel about Celeste.
Whatever the reason, tonight I’m ready.
It’s scary as hell, and I don’t know what I’m doing...but I know I want her, and that’s enough to finally go for it.
I reach up and cup her face, pulling her mouth down to mine.
“What are you doing?” she asks, pulling back only slightly.
“What I’ve wanted to do for a long time.”
Her eyes drop to my lips before flicking back up to meet my gaze. “You have?”
I nod, swallowing past the lump of emotion balled in my throat. “You have too, haven’t you?”
She closes her eyes and rests her forehead against mine. “You have no idea.”
My heart thunders in my chest. “Then kiss me.”
Celeste presses a feather-light kiss to my lips, and electricity shoots throughout my entire body. “Are you sure you’re ready for this?”
I cover her hand with mine and move it over my pounding heart. “I’ve never done this before, so you might have to show me a few things. But I want this with you.”
Celeste smiles. “My brave little mouse.”
Seconds pass, the air crackling around us.
And then her mouth crashes into mine.
I weave my hands into her hair and part my lips, opening for her so our tongues can wind around one another. Celeste cradles my face in her hands and tilts my head to hold me where she wants me, moaning into my mouth as she deepens our kiss.
It’s consuming, like a flood rushing over us and pulling us under. And I let it. I succumb to the desires I’ve hidden and let the water take me.
Celeste’s fingertips dance along my midriff, skating back and forth and sending goosebumps flying over my skin. I need more. Need her to stop holding back.
“Touch me, Celeste,” I murmur against her lips. “Please.”
Her palm slides under my T-shirt, ascending up my ribcage. “Say it again.”
“Touch me. I want you.”
She hums as she bites my bottom lip, sliding her hand up until she cups my bare breast. “The things I’ve wanted to do to this perfect body.”
“Yes.” My voice is a whispered plea. “I want it too.”
She pushes up my shirt and dips her head to wrap her tongue around my nipple. She locks eyes with me as she drags her tongue to my other breast, licking and sucking until I’m a writhing mess.
“Is this really what you want?” Her confident facade fades the longer I gaze into her piercing blue eyes. “I’m not some experiment, or a rebound.”
“You know you’re none of those things to me.”
She has to know. She has to feel what I feel.
I take her hand and guide it down my chest, leading her past my stomach and over my shorts. “I want to be yours.” I roll my hips against our hands. “I want you to be mine.”
“I’ve always been yours, little mouse.”
Then she claims my lips, and any reservations she had seem to melt away. She slips her hand inside my shorts, letting her fingers smooth over my clit.
Celeste lets out a breath. “You’re wet for me.”
“Of course I am.” I let my knees fall open. “I’m always wet when I touch myself thinking about you.”
Her eyebrows hit her hairline. “Have you?”
I lick my lips and nod as she rubs her fingers against me. “You turn me on, Celeste. I’ve fantasized about you for so many nights.”
She lets out a strained groan. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because I was scared.”
“Of me?”
I shake my head. “I was afraid that once we started, I wouldn’t be able to stop.”
“Who says we have to stop?” She slips one finger inside of me. “We can do whatever we want. It’s just me and you, Kourt.”
I pull her mouth down to mine, kissing her hard and pouring everything I never said into her, everything I could never admit out loud.
“Imagine the camera on us right now.” Celeste curls her finger, pumping it in and out of me while rubbing my clit with her thumb. “Imagine people on the other side of the screen watching me play with this pretty pussy of yours, watching you writhe and break apart as you come all over my hand.”
I picture it as Celeste talks, and it brings me closer to the edge. My hips move of their own volition, my body at her mercy.
In this moment, I convince myself that nothing else matters. Not my parents, not the world, not the preconceived notions I’ve had my whole life.
Being with Celeste awakens something in me.
And after this moment, I’ll never be the same again.