27. Jason
Jason
One Year Later
After tossing and turning for hours, I settle against the headboard and unlock my phone.
As tired as I am after tonight’s game, I feel restless. Plus, hotel mattresses are stiff and uncomfortable. It’s one of the downfalls of constantly being on the road. I love hockey. It’s my dream job. But the schedule is grueling, the season is long, and it gets lonely.
No one tells you how difficult dating is when you’re a professional athlete.
People assume it’s awesome having women throw themselves at you wherever you go, but I’m not interested in sticking my dick in someone just because she’s willing.
There has to be a connection there, something that goes deeper than surface-level attraction, and that’s hard to do when I’m always traveling. There’s no stability.
Not to mention how much there is to worry about: getting someone pregnant; underage girls lying about being older; sexually transmitted diseases. The only time I want my name in the headlines is for hockey. So, I click on a livestream app in the hopes of finding a temporary fix for my loneliness.
Sometimes, I let my mind drift and wonder what my life would be like if my high school girlfriend never broke up with me.
My heart belonged to her from the moment I met her, and I could see our future together so clearly.
But she didn’t want to put us through a long-distance relationship, and nothing I said could’ve changed her mind.
Kourtney’s beautiful face flashes in my head, and I can’t help the smile that tugs on the corner of my lips.
Every day, something always reminds me of her.
A song, a movie, something someone says that sparks a memory of a moment we shared.
I think about Celeste too and wonder if they’re still as close as they used to be.
I’m glad they had each other in college, but it pained me to be separated from them, on the outside looking in on what I could no longer be a part of.
The three of us were once attached at the hips.
They’re weaved into all of my favorite high school memories.
I can picture them now, attending my games, cheering for me, wearing my number on their jerseys, and going out after to celebrate. How much better my life would be if they were still in it.
I heave a sigh and scroll through countless videos of women, looking for someone who makes me hard enough to masturbate to. A thumbnail of a brunette catches my eye, so I click on it to enlarge it to full screen.
And my heart leaps into my throat.
I blink several times, as if to clear my already-clear vision, because there’s no way I’m seeing what I’m seeing.
This can’t be her.
Kourtney would never be on one of these sites.
Then again, I haven’t seen or spoken to her in five years. A lot can change in that span of time.
With long chestnut hair falling in loose waves over her shoulders, she looks right into the camera with those big brown eyes of hers and smooths her hands over her hips.
She’s sitting back on her knees on the floor of what looks like a bedroom wearing an oversized button-down shirt that’s bunched up enough to reveal her lush thighs.
I swallow hard, unable to peel my eyes away from the screen in complete and utter disbelief, like if I look away, she’ll disappear.
I watch as she pops the buttons on her shirt, one by one, until she opens each side and slides them down her arms, revealing a white lace bra and matching panties.
I watch as she drags her palms over her breasts, giving them a squeeze.
I watch as she runs her fingertips over the straps on her shoulders, teasing the thought of pulling them down.
Then I watch as she unclasps the hook behind her, and lets the bra fall to the floor.
My cock hardens, straining in my boxers like it’s reaching for her.
Like it knows where it belongs.
She tugs on her nipples and lets out a soft moan.
And that’s when I realize that I’m not the only one watching her like this.
Fuck no.
Possession rips through me like an electric current. I click on the button to request a private room. I have to pay extra for it, but I don’t care. The only thing I’m concerned about is getting Kourtney’s beautiful naked body away from the eyes of anyone else.
My pulse thumps a furious rhythm, excitement and adrenaline coursing through my veins.
It’s Kourtney.
After all these years.
What are the odds I stumbled across her video in the middle of the night?
Once the payment goes through, another window opens, and I’m prompted to turn on my mic and camera. My thumb hovers over the button to accept.
What will she say when she realizes it’s me?
What if she ends the call and I lose her?
What if she thinks I’m a pervert for requesting a private room with her?
Fuck it. I have to try.
I turn on my video and switch on the lamp on my nightstand so she can see my face.
She’s still topless, kneeling on the floor. But now she’s wearing a bright smile.
My heart aches in my chest at the sight of her.
“You wanted me all to yourself, huh?” Her voice floats through my phone. “What do you plan on doing now that you’ve got—” A gasp leaves her throat as she leans closer to her camera. “Oh my god. Jason? What are you doing here?”
“I could ask you the same thing.”
Her hands fly up to cover her bare chest as she searches for her shirt. “What the...? How did you...?”
I stifle a laugh as she frantically slips her arms into the sleeves and clutches the shirt to her body like I haven’t seen every inch of her before. “Believe me, I’m just as surprised as you are.”
She buttons a couple of them and carries her phone to her bed to sit. “Holy shit. It’s been forever since I’ve seen you. How are you?”
“I’m doing well. How are you?”
“I’m good. I’m not a famous hockey player or anything, but…” She laughs as her sentence trails off.
She knows I’m playing professional hockey now.
Pride swells my chest, and I grin. “You have no idea how good it is to hear your laugh.”
Pink tinges her cheeks as she tucks a strand of hair behind her ears. “I have to admit, I’m a little embarrassed that you caught me like this.”
“Trust me, you have nothing to be embarrassed about.” My skin prickles at the thought of her short strip tease. “You’re still as beautiful as ever.”
She covers her face with her palm. “I always wondered what would happen if I ever ran into anyone I know on this website. At least you’re not my mailman or something.”
A low chuckle rumbles in my chest. There are so many questions I want to ask her, mainly what she’s doing on a porn site like this.
But I start with, “How have you been? What’s going on in your life?”
“After college, I got my own apartment in Jersey City. I’m working for my parents’ catering business at the moment.”
“How are they doing?”
“They’re good.” She rolls her eyes on a smile. “Same as always.”
“What’s Celeste up to? She living in the apartment with you?”
Kourtney’s smile falters. “Celeste and I aren’t…uh, she moved to Seattle for a job last year.”
My eyebrows hit my hairline. “Damn. What’s in Seattle?”
“A hockey team, actually.”
My head tilts. “Hockey?”
“She’s Trenton Ward’s PR agent.”
“Oh, wow. That’s an incredible opportunity for her. He’s one of the best players in the league.”
“You’re doing pretty well yourself from what I’ve seen.” Her smile returns. “I’ve watched a few of your games.”
My lungs constrict. I guess she’s thought about me like I’ve thought about her.
Her eyes bounce between mine. “It’s so good to see you, Jason.”
The sound of my name on her lips has me struggling for my next breath. “I’ve missed you.”
“Me too.” She leans her head back against the pillow. “Tell me about you. How is it being a star athlete?”
“I love it. My career is everything I hoped it’d be.”
“I’m so happy for you.” She pauses. “What about your life outside of your career? Are you…married? Have any kids?”
I shake my head. “Wouldn’t be on this website if I had a family.”
She lets out a soft laugh. “I had to ask.”
“I’m single. Life on the road isn’t really conducive to having a personal life. What about you?”
She hikes a shoulder, and her gaze wanders somewhere off screen. “Single.”
I arch a brow. “Sounds like there’s something more to the story.”
She chews on her thumbnail, finally bringing her eyes back to mine. “I, uh, think you’ll be surprised to hear that story.”
I prop a pillow under my back and rest my arm behind my head. “I’d love to hear it.”
“Celeste and I kind of, um, dated…during college.”
My eyebrows jump, but I try to school my features since she looks so nervous about telling me. I’m surprised, but at the same time, I’m not. There was always a spark between the two of them, something special they shared that went deeper than best friends.
“It just happened. One night, I kissed her, and we were together from that moment on.”
“And then she just up and left for Seattle?”
“Not exactly.” Kourtney looks away again. “I told her to go without me.”
“Ah.” Understanding sets in. “How did she take it?”
“We haven’t spoken since.” She blows a long breath out through her lips. “I just couldn’t imagine telling my parents about us. You know how my father is. I couldn’t be with Celeste like that.”
Kourtney pulls away when she’s scared, and I understand why she’d be afraid of what her religious father would say. Still, I wish she had the courage to push past those fears because they’re holding her back from the rest of her life.
I frown. “That must be so hard for you both. You’ve never been separated like this before.”
“You have no idea.”
“Oh, I think I have an idea.”
Her eyebrows push together. “I’m sorry. I never wanted to hurt you. I just thought I was sparing us from something worse.”
“I know. It’s okay.” I offer her a smile so she stops looking so damn upset because it’s breaking my heart. “Look at us now. We found each other again anyway.”
She laughs. “We did, didn’t we?”
“I’d love it if we could exchange numbers and continue talking.”
“Of course.” She types her number into the chat, and I send her mine. “You know, I feel bad that you had to pay for this private room just to talk to me.”
“I’d pay any amount for just a moment with you, Kourtney.”
She holds my gaze as a smile stretches across her face. “You’re still a smooth talker, I see.”
“Only when I’m talking to you.”
“Hey, how’s your mom doing? I miss her famous moussaka.”
Grief fists my heart. “She, uh…she passed away two months ago.”
Kourtney gasps as tears fill her eyes. “Jason, I’m so sorry. What happened?”
“She had a heart attack. I was at an away game when I got the call.”
“That’s awful. She was loved by so many people.”
I nod, my bottom lip trembling at the memory of my sweet mother. “I wish I could’ve gotten more time with her.”
Kourtney dabs at the corner of her eye. “Time is always cut short with the people we love the most.”
“Let’s not waste any more of our time then.” I clear my throat. “I’m in Boston right now, but I’d love to see you when I get back this weekend.”
She nods. “Absolutely.”
I don’t know what’s happening here or how we managed to reconnect like this. But I do know one thing for sure: Fate has brought us back together after all these years, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to let Kourtney go again.
She might not know it yet, but I’m going to marry this woman one day.