66. Alexander #2
I run my fingers along Dash’s silky fur. “You’re a secret sweetie pie just like your mom, aren’t you?”
He nuzzles his head against my arm.
“I...” Aarya’s mouth hangs open. “Is he purring?”
I let out a low chuckle. “He sure is.”
“I have never seen him like this before.” Aarya shakes her head. “You’re like the animal whisperer.”
“I think maybe you haven’t been around the right kind of men.” I lift my gaze to hers. “The cat and the woman.”
She rolls her eyes. “Says the man who lied about being a father.”
“I didn’t lie.” I scratch behind Dash’s ears. “I just...kept her a secret from everyone for a long time.”
“Why?”
“I chose to be a hockey player, and the spotlight comes with the territory. But Giuliana doesn’t need to be put through all that. Plus, it’d only raise questions about her mother.”
“And where is her mother? Why isn’t she here helping you raise that little girl?”
I let my head fall back against the couch as I stare up at the ceiling.
“I’d had a little too much to drink one night after an away game, and I went home with someone I’d met at a bar.
I wasn’t careful. It was foolish, and reckless.
I wasn’t thinking. I didn’t think I’d hear from her again until she showed up at my door and told me she was pregnant.
” I swallow, choosing my words wisely. “She wanted no part of being a mother. I wasn’t ready to be a dad either, but I couldn’t let that baby go.
So, I made sure she had everything she needed until Giuliana was born, and then I never saw her again.
She signed the contract my lawyer wrote up, terminated her rights, and it was like she never existed. ”
It's not a lie. I just omitted specific details, not ready to share them with Aarya yet.
Aarya stares down at her hands in her lap as she listens. “Do you think she’ll ever change her mind?”
“No.” I hike a shoulder. “Will she ever regret it? Maybe she will. Maybe she won’t.”
As I watch Aarya’s face, it dawns on me that this might be a sore subject for her, whose father made the same choice to leave his child behind.
I lift Dash in my arms, and scoot us to the other side of the couch. He jumps into Aarya’s lap and paws at her while he stretches.
Aarya’s eyes are on me while I lower myself beside her, and take her hand into mine.
“Whether your father thinks about you or not, I can tell you with absolute certainty that he’s missing out on you.
” She averts her gaze, but I tip her chin and bring her right back to me.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about Giuliana.
I hope you can understand why. I’m just trying to protect my daughter. ”
She nods, the questions swirling in her dark eyes as they bounce between mine.
“I know this isn’t what you signed up for when you agreed to fake marry me, so I get it if you want to back out.” I offer her a small smile. “Giuliana and I are a package deal.”
“She’s the reason you want to keep the villa, isn’t it?”
“Now that she’s old enough to remember it, I want to take her there. I want her to have the same kind of memories I have. I want her to feel close to my parents, even though they’re not here to meet her.”
Aarya covers my hand with hers. “They’re with you both every day.”
I stare down at our contact, emotion constricting my throat. “I just want Giuliana to have a full, happy life. She doesn’t have a mother, or grandparents. I’m trying to be all of that for her, but it’s hard sometimes.”
She squeezes my hand. “You’re doing better than you think.”
I huff out a laugh. “She hasn’t stopped asking me when she’s going to see you again. The kid has the memory of an elephant.”
Aarya frowns as she stares down at the sleeping cat in her lap. “I don’t know if I’m cut out to be a step-mom. Even a fake one.”
Disappointment sinks into my gut. Though I already knew what her answer would be, it still stings to hear her say it out loud.
“I get it,” is all I can say at this point. “Thank you for hearing me out.”
I push off the couch and move toward the table for my jacket.
“What if I’m not good at it?”
I turn around and meet Aarya’s worried gaze. “What?”
She places Dash on the couch before she stands, and wrings her hands in front of her. “I don’t want to mess up your kid.”
I tilt my head. “How would you mess her up?”
“I don’t know.” She holds her arms out wide before letting her hands fall and smack against her legs.
“I don’t know the first thing about kids, or how to change a diaper, or what they eat.
I curse a lot—I know you’re not supposed to do that around them—and I definitely don’t watch Disney movies.
The color pink repulses me. I’m not motherly at all, in case you haven’t noticed. ”
Affection warms my chest at her concern. “Giuliana doesn’t wear diapers, so you’re in the clear there.”
“I don’t even know how old she is.”
I take a step toward her. “She’s four.”
“What if she chokes on her food? Or on a toy? Google said kids put things in their mouths, and I won’t know what to do if she’s choking.”
I take another step toward her. “You Googled it?”
“Yeah, that’s why I haven’t called you all week, because I was trying to learn as much as I could so that I could convince you that Giuliana would be safe around me.
But there’s so much you need to know, and I don’t know if I’ll be good at any of it, and she was really sticky that day with the syrup, and—”
I close the distance between us and wrap my arms around her, pulling her against me.
“Why are you hugging me?” Her voice is muffled against my chest as her body stiffens.
“Because I can’t stand here listening to you tell me all of this and not hold you.”
She tries to push out of my grasp. “This isn’t necessary. You don’t need to comfort me.”
“This is more for me than it is for you.”
She stops squirming, but doesn’t lift her arms around me.
We stand in the silence of her apartment, with Dash weaving through our legs, and I hold onto the only shred of hope I have of keeping my parents’ villa.
I rest my chin on the top of her head. “I didn’t know the first thing about children when Giuliana was born, so it’s been a learn-as-I-go experience.
Annie has been a huge help. I’m not sure I would’ve survived some of the harder days without her.
But you’ve put more thought and care into being with Giuliana than her own mother did, so I’d say that’s a good start. Plus, she’s already obsessed with you.”
Aarya pulls back and looks up into my eyes. “Really?”
“For the last week it’s been, Aarya’s hair is so pretty; can you do my hair like Aarya? Can we visit Aarya at her gallery? I’m going to paint a picture for Aarya so she can hang it in her gallery. Is Aarya coming over today? I want to show her my room.” I shake my head. “It’s been exhausting.”
A slow grin spreads across her face, like she’s happy to hear that Giuliana has been talking about her. And something deep inside me settles into place.
Maybe this can work after all.
I cup her face, my thumb stroking her cheek. “All you have to do is be yourself. That’s the only version of Aarya I want. But if you don’t feel comfortable with this, then there is no pressure. You can tell me no, and I’ll walk right out your door, and we’ll go back to being friends.”
She arches a brow. “Friends?”
“Your best friend married mine. I’d like to think we’re friends now too.”
She chews on her bottom lip giving me a sly look. “We’re about to become a lot more than friends, Funnel Cake.”
My eyes widen. “Does that mean...?”
She nods. “I’m in.”
Relief crashes into me like a tidal wave, and I scoop her up into my arms and spin her in a circle. “Thank you.”
She grunts as I set her down, and shoves me away. “That’s two hugs in one night.”
“The spitfire doesn’t like hugs?”
She squares her shoulders. “Hate them.”
Dash paws at my leg, missing out on the fun. I pick him up and he nuzzles into the crook of my neck.
Aarya shakes her head. “Looks like Giuliana is getting that cat she’s been wanting.”