68. Aarya #2
And it’s now that I realize, I’m not the only one who hasn’t been on a proper date.
If Alexander hasn’t had sex since Giuliana was born, then he hasn’t dated anyone either.
He has isolated himself because he can’t trust that anyone will want him for more than his pro hockey player status—and on some level, I get that.
I don’t let people in because it’s easier to keep them out rather than giving them the opportunity to disappoint me.
We might be total opposites in some ways, but Alexander and I are similar in others.
I reach across the table and lace my fingers with his. “Thank you for making tonight so special for me. I really appreciate all the effort you put into this, Alex.”
His fingers squeeze mine and his dark eyes glisten in the candlelight. “You deserve it.”
“I know it’s not easy letting people in, especially where your daughter is concerned. But I’m grateful that you’re letting me.” I let out a breath of a laugh. “Even if I’m totally not cut out for the job.”
“I think you’re going to surprise yourself with how perfect you are for this.”
The way he’s looking at me, surrounded by dozens of candles and the incredible backdrop of the museum, feels too much. Too real. Too much like I could get used to his belief that I’m worth more than a fun night between the sheets.
I pull back my hand and lift my knife again, busying myself with cutting another piece of steak. “We should discuss the contract.”
He clears his throat and sits upright in his chair. “Was there anything you’d like to amend?”
Reaching behind me, I pull out the tri-folded papers from my purse and flip to the second page. “It says here that you’re giving me the money upfront.”
Alexander nods. “And?”
I give him a dubious look. “Don’t you want to hold onto the money until you’re sure I’ve held up my end of the bargain?”
His dark brows pinch together. “I’m not holding this over your head, Aarya. You’re not enslaved to me. And I figured you’d want to get a head-start on finding a space for your gallery.”
“But you’re giving me the money to spend before we secure your parents’ villa.”
“Do you plan on taking my money and disappearing into the night, never to be seen again?”
“No, but—”
“Then we’re good. You can take the money and get started on building your dream while we get my villa back.”
I lift my wine glass and bring it to my lips. “Okay.”
“How does the calendar I sent you look? I put a few away games in there, but you don’t have to come to them if you can’t get off work.” He swallows and dabs the corner of his mouth with his napkin. “But I was thinking, with the money upfront, maybe you’d want to quit your job and—”
“I can’t just quit my job.”
“But your boss is harassing you. I thought you’d be happy to get away from him.”
“It’s not just about him. I have bills to pay, and finding a space for a gallery of my own will take time. I can’t risk it.”
His head tilts as he leans back against his chair. “Aarya, just so we’re clear: You’ll be living with me—all expenses paid. Anything you need money for, I will provide. If you want new shoes, or a manicure, or money for your phone bill, or hell, if you want a car, it’s on me.”
I cough out an incredulous laugh. “No fucking way am I letting you be my sugar daddy.”
He purses his lips. “That’s not what this is, and you know it.”
“I have to stand on my own two feet. I can’t just quit my job and live in delusion as if you’re going to be my provider.”
“But I am going to be your provider. I’m going to be your husband.”
I lean in and lower my voice, even though nobody else is listening. “You’re going to be my fake husband. What if I can’t get the gallery up and running in time? What if our contract ends before the gallery comes to fruition? What if the gallery completely fails?”
“My money is yours for as long as you need it. I have more than enough, and I’m not going to cut you off just because the contract is over.” His eyes narrow. “You’re helping me keep my family’s villa. I’m eternally indebted to you. Don’t you see how important that is to me?”
“I can’t ask you to do that for me.” I shake my head. “I need a fallback plan.”
“Let me be your fallback.”
I grew up watching my mother trust the word of a man, promising to take care of her only to dump her on her ass the second he was done with her.
We struggled financially and I swore to myself I’d never follow in her footsteps.
As much as I want to believe that Alexander means what he says, I just can’t allow myself to.
What’s to keep him from going back on his word once he has secured the villa?
“Thank you, but I’ll be staying at my job for as long as I can, until it’s the right time to leave.” I wave a dismissive hand, hoping he’ll drop it. “I make my own money and I can take care of myself.”
His lips turn downward, and I know he’s not happy with my response, but he doesn’t push the issue.
We finish eating, and then he lays his napkin on the table as he pushes out of his seat.
He tugs my hand, pulling me up. “Dance with me.”
“Don’t you want to finish the tour?”
“We will. We have plenty of time for that.” He pulls me close and rests his hands on my waist. “We have the place to ourselves for as long as you’d like.”
I wrap my hands around the back of his neck and sway to the soft music playing in the background.
He dips his head and speaks low at the cusp of my ear.
“I’ve had a hard time letting people in, as you can see when it comes to my daughter.
Letting you into my personal life, knowing you’re going to be a part of Giuliana’s world, isn’t easy for me.
I’ve never told anyone this before, but her mother took advantage of me. ”
My head jerks back as I look up at him. “What do you mean?”
“I’ve always kept my drinking to a minimum because of what happened to my parents.
The night I met her, I only had two beers.
After that, my memory gets hazy.” His Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows.
“And I always use protection during sex. Yet there was no evidence of a condom anywhere when I finally woke up the next morning. She was already gone at that point. But at the time I didn’t think anything of it.
I figured I let things get a little out of hand, and that was that. ”
I believe him wholeheartedly. Alexander is always careful and needs to be in control. Having a wild night of drinking and unprotected sex doesn’t sound like him.
“Men get roofied too, you know. It’s not as common as when it happens to women, but it does happen.”
He nods, his eyes not meeting mine as he continues.
“She showed up at my house with a positive pregnancy test a month later, and said she couldn’t afford to keep the baby.
Of course, I offered to take care of her medical expenses, and I told her I wanted her to keep the baby if that’s what she wanted.
I went to every appointment, gave her money for whatever she needed.
Food; prenatal vitamins; I even paid her rent.
“I was there in the delivery room. I saw Giuliana come into this world, and it was the most incredible miracle I’ve ever witnessed. Then I had an away game the next day. But when I returned to the hospital to see them, they were gone.”
I try to school my features so he doesn’t see how horrified I am.
“I panicked. I searched everywhere for them. I called Giuliana’s mother—Rachel—and texted her for two days straight. Then a letter showed up at my house. Rachel wanted money in exchange for Giuliana.”
Anger spikes in my veins. “Are you fucking kidding me?”
“Rachel never planned on keeping her. She conned me. Strung me along the entire time just to get money out of me.”
“And if you didn’t want her to keep the baby when she first came to you?”
He blinks back tears. “She would’ve terminated the pregnancy and probably tried to con someone else.”
“How much did you give her?” I whisper.
“I was desperate to get my baby girl away from her.”
“How much, Alex?”
“Half a million.”
I suck in a gasp, unable to contain my reaction. “That fucking psychopath got away with half a million dollars?”
He hikes a shoulder. “I would’ve given her anything she asked for just to hold Giuliana in my arms.”
Jesus Christ. This poor man.
“Why didn’t you go to the cops, or get a lawyer?”
“I was embarrassed. I felt like a fool. And nobody would ever believe that a woman could take advantage of a big guy like me.” He shakes his head. “I was so fucking stupid.”
“You’re not stupid. That bitch deserves to get hit by a bus. Hell, let’s find her. I’ll do it myself.”
One corner of his mouth curves up. “Easy, spitfire.”
I rest my head on his shoulder and stroke the hair at the back of his head. “I know you wouldn’t have Giuliana without that piece of shit, but I hate that she has her DNA.”
He hums in response. “So, I know you’ve been through experiences in your life that have made it difficult for you to trust people, especially men.
But I want you to know, just because that’s the way it’s always been doesn’t mean that’s the way it always will be.
Not everyone is out to get us. You have Cassidy, and I have my friends.
We’ve created a small circle of people we can count on.
And I hope in time, you’ll see that you can count on me too. ”
I don’t know what to say, so I close my eyes and let his words sink in as he continues.
“I know you pride yourself on your independence, and I’m not trying to take that away from you. I just want to make things easier for you. It’s okay to accept help sometimes—the kind of help that doesn’t come with strings attached.”
I heave a sigh and let my fingers run through the silky curls at the back of his head. “Please tell me you have some kind of weird deformity, like a tail or a third nipple. Or maybe you save your toenail clippings in a jar.”
He blinks. “What?”
“You can’t be this perfect all of the time. There has to be something wrong with you.”