69. Alexander #2
Now Aarya’s the one pacing the room. “The only physical evidence is our contract, and we can just shred it. You can delete it from your computer, and make sure it didn’t get uploaded to the Cloud.
Get rid of any emails with your lawyer. I’ll have to erase my texts with the girls.
I don’t think he’d be able to get my phone records without a court ordered warrant, and he’d need just cause for that. ”
My chin jerks back. “Why do you know all of this?”
“I watch a lot of documentaries.”
“What the hell kind of documentaries are you watching?”
“The murdery ones.”
I shake my head as a small smile tugs at the corner of my mouth. I reach up and catch her hand to stop her from wearing out the carpet. “Come here, spitfire.” She slumps down next to me, eyes wide, and I can see her brain moving a mile a second. “Thank you for calming me down.”
She frowns. “You were shaking before. You looked... I didn’t like it.”
I cover her hands with mine. “I have anxiety. I used to get panic attacks a lot, but I went to therapy and learned some exercises to help me cope. I had a panic attack tonight, after my grandfather paid me a visit.”
“You have those often?”
“No. Not since Giuliana was born. I was a single parent running on no sleep with a colicky baby, and not a single clue what I was doing. Sometimes, I’d have a panic attack while she screamed her head off as I was holding her in my arms.”
Aarya chews her bottom lip as she listens.
“That’s when I reached out to my mom’s friend, Annie, and she literally saved me. I learned so much from her, as well as from therapy. I guess my grandfather’s will brought some of those old nerves back up again, and when I thought about him hurting her, I started to panic.”
She nods. “Look, I know it’s scary to think that someone’s been watching us—especially Giuliana. But I think I have an idea that can help you tell your grandfather to fuck right off.”
“I’m listening.”
“Tell the world about Giuliana yourself.”
“No. No way.”
“Hear me out,” she pleads. “You feel good when you’re in control, right?
And Lorenzo made you think that he’s in control, but he’s not.
If you get ahead of him and be the one to announce that you have a daughter, then he can’t hold anything over your head.
He loses the power. And what does he have to use against you after that? Nothing.”
I hear what she’s saying, but that’s a bigger ask than she realizes. “She’s only four. She’s not ready for this.”
“Kids are resilient. Isn’t that what everyone says about them? Fuck if I know, but maybe you’re making this a bigger deal than it will turn out to be. Maybe you’ll get to stop living under the stress of getting caught, and you can live freely with her.”
For four years, I’ve stopped myself from doing the things I’ve wanted to do with my daughter.
I couldn’t chance being spotted at the park, so I built a park in our backyard; I couldn’t take her to the beach, or to Disney World, or even give her a tour of my stadium before a game.
If it weren’t for Annie, she’d be like Rapunzel locked in a tower.
I let my head fall back against the couch and stare up at the ceiling.
Maybe Aarya is right.
Maybe I’ve been doing this all wrong.
I’ve been so worried about the media messing up Giuliana’s life, but maybe I’m the one fucking up her life.
“Hey, look at me.” Aarya grasps my face between her hands and jerks my head until I’m looking in her eyes.
“Stop thinking whatever you’re thinking.
You did what you thought was best for her, and she has had a wonderful life.
But now it’s time to take control and do things your way. You are not a bad dad.”
I lean into her touch, letting my eyes close for a brief moment. “How did you know what I was thinking?”
“Because you’re the only person I know who will have something bad happen, and think it’s your fault.”
I want to tell her how thankful I am that she’s doing this with me. How good it feels to know I’m not alone in this. How much I appreciate her help.
My gaze falls to her lips. I want to kiss her.
God, do I want to kiss her.
And having her in my house is going to make fighting this ten times harder.
“I want you to move in with me. And no more walking around alone. You’ll have your own bodyguard, and a driver to take you wherever you need to go.”
Her eyebrows waggle. “A bodyguard, huh? Sounds fun.”
I shoot her a glare. “My wife will not be having an affair with her bodyguard.”
“Then I guess my husband better figure out how he’s going to keep me from straying.”
Without thinking, I grip her hips and pull her onto my lap. Her thick thighs straddle my waist, surrounding me in her scent as her hair falls around me. She braces her hands on the couch behind my head, unsure eyes bouncing between mine yet laced with desire.
I run my fingers through her soft hair, gripping onto the back of her neck as I pull her mouth down to mine.
“My wife will not touch another man. She will not look at another man, flirt with another man, think about another man. She will not fantasize about any other man besides her husband. She belongs to me, and I belong to her. Is that clear?”
Aarya rolls her hips against me as her fingers toy with the hair on the back of my head. “I’m still a little unclear on all that. It doesn’t seem very fair to me.”