17. Forever
FOREVER
I fucked up.
It took our phone call ending, and my missing him immediately, to realize.
My heart ached, only making the headache I’d had since Lucien left worse.
“You should go home and get some rest,” Carmen said, entering my office from the secret door. “It’s going on two. I’m all done, but wanted to give you this.”
She set the file down, lit my vanilla candle, and left without another word.
There was a sticky note on top of the folder with her barely legible handwriting on it.
Go with your heart.
Carm
I lifted the top half with the tip of my nail for a peek, letting it fall completely open after reading three words that answered my earlier question.
Certificate of Marriage.
Lucien had indeed been calling me that man’s wife, and the proof was staring back at me with a raised seal.
“Goodness,” I murmured, lifting it.
The date on it meant we’d been married for eleven months already when I left for that job.
He spent our first anniversary alone, while I’d woken up in bed, confused about why my body felt like it’d been hit by a truck.
I wrote the dates down on my desk calendar.
Demetrius said we’d known one another for a year and eight months. I started doing the math in my head, tapping the desk while I counted.
Nine months.
I married him after nine short months.
From the looks of the red stamp on the bottom of the certificate, it’d been blocked from public records. Only three people had the authority to do this, but the stamp belonged to Lucien’s family.
Not even my parents could dig this up without the approval of the high fucking priest. His protective order had been in place far longer than he alluded to.
Had Carmen gone to him on my behalf?
It was clear my… husband and I had no regard for the consequences of our actions. The woman I was now would’ve never allowed this, but it’s obvious there was a version of myself who trusted someone with more than just our heart, but our life, too.
He made me yearn for that feeling.
I bit my lip and stood.
Fuck it.
“I heard kissing can help me regain my memories,” I lied, barging into Demetrius’s office thirty minutes later.
He leaned back with a smirk on his stupidly handsome face. My subconscious brought me here instead of his apartment, like it was a given he’d be here and not there.
“Oh yeah? You saying you wanna kiss me, my forever?”
I hated how smug he looked, but I really did want to kiss him. Just to see if what I was feeling was real or not.
“If it’ll help…”
I shrugged, and he laughed.
“Come ‘ere.”
The way he beckoned me did something to my entire being. More than my head throbbed around this man.
“Echo…”
I shook my head once it flowed out my mouth… the way it came out hit me hard.
He sat up so quickly it gave me whiplash.
“Why are you acting like I’ve never called you that be—”
He was on me in a blink, hand cupping my face.
“You remember something?”
Do I?
“Why didn’t you react this way earlier when I said it on the phone?”
He shook his head.
“Didn’t like how forced it sounded.”
And just now…
“I don’t remember anything, but saying it felt right this time…” I touched his cheek. “Not forced at all.”
He leaned into the contact and sighed.
“That’s enough for me.”
And as quickly as the moment happened, he took it away by putting distance between us.
I watched him retreat to the bar and then followed.
“Demetrius, I don’t like it when you pull away from me so suddenly.”
He had his back to me, and I had no clue what possessed me to do it, but I moved to stand in front of him.
“Oh, you think I’m a joke?” I asked, pointing to the smile on his face.
He shook his head, but the liar was undoubtedly enjoying my reaction.
I decided to give him a taste of his own medicine and pretended to leave. And just like before, he wrapped me up in his arms to stop it.
Even if I wanted to keep the joke going, I couldn’t. His hands on me changed everything.
“My heart can’t take you walking away anymore,” he murmured against my ear. “Stay and talk to me. You came for a reason, right?”
I turned and looked up.
“You spent our first anniversary without me,” I complained, feeling and sounding like someone other than myself. “I’m sorry I’m hurting you.”
“Don’t apologize again, Forever…” He gently gripped my chin. “I’m sorry it wasn’t me you heard it from.”
I frowned and shoved him a little to make a point.
“We were reckless in having a judge sign a marriage license, Echo. My parents could’ve found out had it not been for Lucien.”
Not like I gave a fuck now that the words had left my mouth.
“You didn’t care, baby,” he argued, sadness replaced with amusement. “I made my case, and you shut it down. Who am I to argue with the love of my life over our commitment being solidified in the legal sense?”
That sounded like me, at least.
“Carmen gave me the certificate. It had Lucien’s stamp on it.”
He hummed and guided me to the couch by my shoulders.
“I don’t mean to wear my emotions so openly in front of you,” he said, pushing me down and then sitting on the coffee table. “My intentions aren’t to make you feel bad, Forever.”
He took my hands in his and stared at them.
“You’re allowed to process however you see fit. There’s nothing that’ll make me want to give this up.”
I snorted on accident and he lifted his gaze.
“There’s a bunch you’d probably leave me over.”
He smiled and tipped his head.
“You have no faith in yourself, my forever. I can guarantee everything you’re thinking of, I know about.”
Forever, please tell me you didn’t bare all to this man.
There was something I hadn’t known before I met him, according to the timeline I had so far, but that didn’t mean anything for the things I didn’t remember.
“So, I told you my mom was the one who killed your dad?” I asked, the urge to throw up spreading through me.
I like him.
Losing this feeling might be my thirteenth reason.
His eyes were smiling, even though his lips were pulled into a frown. So, I was close.
“We assumed it was your dad,” he revealed. “I’m shocked to learn it was Quinn, but then again, I shouldn’t be.”
He had those pretty whites on display now as he leaned forward.
“Did you know your ma has had a standing spa appointment for the last three years?”
I nodded.
She’d tried inviting me along right after the accident, but I’d been too paranoid to accept at the time.
“Once a month,” I said.
He shook his head.
“Once a week for the last month with Destiny, Ignis, and Seo-Yeon,” he corrected, brows lifted. “We reunited a little over a month ago.”
Ah.
“Everything feels connected to us.”
He squeezed my hands before releasing them.
“That’s what I’ve deduced.
I pushed to the edge of the couch to be closer to him.
“You really don’t feel anything about my mom killing your dad?”
Our eyes danced, and so did my heart and pussy. This man pulled something out of me with just a look.
I wanted more.
“Even if I did, that shit ain’t got nothing to do with you,” he said, gaze dropping to my lips. “My father brought his death on himself.”
“You blame him for something,” I found myself saying.
He lifted an eyebrow.
“That doesn’t sound like a question, my forever.”
“It’s just easy to feel what you’re feeling.”
It was written all over his face and in those dark eyes, a guide to his soul if it had to be named.
“He’s the reason my ma went back to her family in the middle of the night fourteen years ago. She left a video practically begging us not to follow. At the time, I thought it was the collective who’d gotten a hold of her. Solei and Oliver were the reason I didn’t pursue.“
The more he talked, the more I wanted to learn. Not about the situation, but about us.
“Have you been faithful to me?”
His lips pulled into the slowest grin before he responded.
“Yeah, baby,” he replied gently, taking my left hand in his. “My dick only comes alive for you.”
I couldn’t help but laugh; he was such a fucking flirt, but I believed he hadn’t touched another woman.
“I know you won’t ask because you’d rather not hear the answer, but I haven’t done anything with him.”
That easy smile he’d been wearing disappeared in an instant. I think it was the first time I’d ever seen anything other than his playful and depressed side.
Mm.
I liked the way murderous intent looked on him.
“Doesn’t matter. His life became mine to take the moment he set sight on you.”
Aw. He’s angry about it.
“Will you kiss me?” I asked, pulling his face to mine by the Cuban link chain around his neck. “I want to see if I have feelings for—”
He didn’t let me finish the request; his mouth met mine with a hunger that made my knees weak, and had I not been sitting, they might’ve buckled beneath the intensity.
I understood immediately why I’d married this man after only nine months. Something just… clicked inside my mind. Not the memories but the emotions that would come with them.
The kiss felt as if he were weaving a story for me; it was claiming and possessive, like he was trying to pour every moment of our lost time into this single connection.
He pushed his fingers into my hair, tilting my head back as his tongue swept against mine, and I moaned into his mouth before I could stop myself.
My body remembered what my mind couldn’t. Every nerve ending came alive, recognizing his touch, his taste, and the way he kissed like he was trying to consume me. I pressed closer, still holding on to his chain, and he groaned low in his throat.
“Fuck,” he breathed against my lips, pulling back just enough to look at me. His eyes were dark with want, and fuck if I didn’t want him, too. “You feel it?”
I feel everything.
The way my heart danced for him, the heat pooling low in my belly, and the desperate need to be closer to him. It was overwhelming, terrifying, and perfect all at once.
“I feel it,” I whispered, trying to catch my breath. “I don’t remember, but I feel something.”
“What do you feel?”
I looked down.
“Like I’ve been starving and didn’t know it.”
He leaned forward until our foreheads touched.
“That’s how it started the first time, too. You told me I made you hungry for things you didn’t know you wanted.”
I closed my eyes, trying to hold onto the feeling coursing through me.
“I want to remember us,” I admitted, the words slipping out before I could stop them.
His thumb brushed across my cheek, and I realized as he pulled back that I was crying without knowing when it started.
“History is repeating itself. Even if you never remember, you’ll still fall in love with me, my forever. It was always in the cards for us to be together.”
This fucking man.
“This is confusing,” I admitted. “I want things I don’t understand.”
“Tell me what you want right now.”
The way he asked really did it for me.
“I want to stay with you tonight,” I said, my voice barely above a whisper. “Not just because my head hurts a little, but because being away from you feels wrong.”
He stood and pulled me up with him, his hands never leaving me.
“Then let’s go. Stay as long as you want.”
I nodded, but something nagged at me. The marriage certificate, the timeline, and all the tiny pieces that didn’t quite fit together yet.
“Echo,” I said, testing his name again on my tongue. It still felt right. “When I left for that job, did I tell you what I was supposed to be doing?”
He frowned and pulled back, the distance a little too much for me.
“Good question, baby. It was the first job you didn’t clue me in on. Makes me think it had something to do with my ma.”
Only my father could give me the answers I needed. As the broker at the time, the contract had to be passed from him to me.
What they said I’d been assigned, versus everything coming out, didn’t add up.
I had to get my hands on the work he’d done during his tenure, but that meant burying myself in paperback.
Even though the position belonged to me now, all previous brokers’ files were sealed and could only be opened with a formal request.
It was clear my father had banked on that.
“Why would I be looking into your mom? Did something happen to prompt this?”
He nodded and moved further away from me to his desk.
“A package was delivered to the compound with a lot of keepsakes in it, shit she said she’d want to give to my future wife when the time came. I think I understand why now.”
I met him where he stood.
You clingy bitch.
“So, we were working on it together. I knew she was a Fairchild?”
He picked up his book bag and turned, shaking his head in response.
“Nah. I only just found out from my grandma a couple days before the gala. We thought she was Aurelia Samuels.”
I hummed.
“Does anyone else in your family know about us besides your siblings?”
He tipped his head and reached for me, tugging me to him by the bottom of my shirt.
“No. We were working toward that, but our time was cut short.”
I nodded and stared up at him, searching his eyes for nothing in particular.
They were just… so beautiful and open to me.
“You’ve taken in enough information for today,” he said, draping an arm over my shoulder as he led us to the door. “Let’s go home.”
Home.
He truly felt like home to me, and the more I thought about it, the easier my decision to clean house became.