33. Forever
FOREVER
I woke to the feeling of Demetrius’s arms wrapped around me, his body damn near molded against mine.
His heartbeat thumped against my back, and the way he held me felt different, like he was afraid I’d slip away if he loosened his grip even a little.
I could tell he was awake from his breathing, felt the tension radiating off him in waves, and wondered what I missed.
Turning slightly, I pressed my lips to his bare chest, and he hummed before pulling back just enough to look down at me. His eyes scanned my face with an intensity that made my stomach flutter.
Why are you so beautiful?
“You okay, baby?” he asked, voice a tad hoarse.
His eyes continued to search mine, but it was the frantic tone that confused me. Why was he acting like my sleeping was cause for alarm?
“What’s wrong?” I asked, frowning as I reached up to touch his face. “Did something happen while I was asleep?”
I glanced around the room, taking in his bedroom at the compound as my frown deepened.
“When did we come back to the compound? I fell asleep in your office.”
Demetrius didn’t answer right away. He stared at me with an odd expression on his face, something between concern and resignation.
“What?” I asked, slipping one arm from around his body to touch my own face. “Is there something on my—”
He silenced me by tugging my head back to his chest, his hand cradling the back of my skull as he held me there. I could feel his heart pounding against the side of my face.
“You don’t remember,” he said softly.
It wasn’t a question, but a statement. Irrefutable fact from the way he was holding on to me. My skin prickled with unease. What was I supposed to remember?
“Alyssa asked to see you today,” he continued, pulling away and untangling our bodies. He sat up, swinging his legs over the side of the bed. “We’ll do that first, and then I’ll take you to breakfast in the city.” He stood, his back to me. “I’m going to shower downstairs.
As he moved toward the door, a strange ache bloomed in my belly. Something wasn’t right. The distance he was putting between us felt deliberate, and I couldn’t bear it. I scrambled out of bed and followed him, grabbing his wrist just as he opened the bedroom door.
“What’s wrong, Echo?” I asked, voice softer than intended. “Why does it feel like you’d rather be anywhere but near me right now?”
He didn’t turn around right away, and I really wanted him to look at me.
“Please,” I whispered, hating how vulnerable I sounded but needing to understand what had changed overnight.
When he finally faced me, the energy between us shifted with the movement. His eyes darkened as they traveled down my body, lingering on my exposed skin. The concern was still there, but something else burned beneath it.
There was a point to prove.
“You think I don’t want to be near you, my forever?” he asked, his voice dropping to that deep register that never failed to make me weak.
He twisted his wrist free from my fingers only to capture them with his own.
I moaned as he tugged me against him, his free hand sliding down to cup my ass. The heat of his palm seeped through the thin fabric of my sleep shorts, making my skin tingle. He pulled me closer until I could feel his hardness pressing against my stomach.
“Look me in my eyes and tell me you feel otherwise,” I demanded, needing to be reassured that whatever was bothering him had nothing to do with his feelings for me.
He met my gaze without hesitation, his dark eyes intensely boring into mine.
“I always want to be near you, Forever. Every second of every minute in a day. Didn’t I say, I can’t breathe without you?”
My pussy throbbed at his words, at how easy it was for him to express what I meant to him. Not just through words, but his actions too.
“Now you have to fuck the thought from my mind,” I whispered, pressing myself harder against him. “Help me forget I ever felt it.”
He growled low in his throat, spinning me around so quickly I gasped. His hands gripped my hips, guiding me back toward the bed.
“Bend over,” he commanded roughly.
I complied without hesitation, lifting a knee to the mattress and arching into it. He pushed my shorts halfway down, then his, and slapped the head of his dick against my pussy.
“Already so wet for me,” he murmured, one hand sliding up my spine to grip the back of my neck. “Stay just like this.”
He pushed into me with one long, deep stroke that had me crying out, fingers clutching at the sheets. He filled me completely, stretching me in a way that bordered on pain but felt so fucking good I could barely breathe.
My entire body buzzed.
“This what you wanted?” he asked, pulling back slowly before slamming into me again. “You wanted me to remind you who you belong to?”
“Yes,” I hissed, pushing back against him, taking him deeper. “Please, Echo.”
His rhythm was fucking perfect, the relentless taps against my g-spot erasing his weird behavior from my head like it was never there.
“You belong to me, Forever,” he grunted, fucking me harder. “This pussy belongs to me.”
Each thrust pushed me closer to the edge, the tension coiling tighter in my core. I could feel my walls clenching around him, my body desperate for release.
“Echo,” I moaned deeply, reaching back to grab his wrist. “I’m gonna—”
“Not yet,” he commanded, slowing his pace just enough to keep me from tipping over. “Not until I say.”
I whimpered, my legs trembling with the effort to hold back. He leaned over me, his chest pressed against my back, and his lips brushing my ear.
“Tell me who you belong to.”
“You,” I gasped, the word torn from somewhere deep inside me. “Only you, Echo. Always you.”
Fuck. Just him breathing against my ear was enough to make me cum if it came down to it.
“That’s right,” he said, his thrusts becoming more erratic as he pushed my face into the mattress. “Now you can cum for me, my forever. Let me feel you.”
His words were all it took. The dam broke, pleasure washing over me in waves so intense my vision blurred. I cried out his name, over and over, until I could barely understand what was coming out of my mouth.
He followed moments later, his body tensing as he emptied himself inside me with a deep groan that vibrated through my entire being.
We collapsed onto the bed together, his arms immediately wrapping around me again, pulling me close. Whatever distance had been between us earlier was gone now, replaced by the only feeling I wanted when he was near.
As my breathing returned to normal, I turned in his arms to face him.
“Better?” I asked, tracing the outline of his jaw with my fingertips.
He caught my hand, pressing a kiss to my palm.
“Much better,” he said, a small smile playing at the corners of his mouth.
Still, that smile didn’t reach his eyes. Whatever was bothering him hadn’t been completely fucked away.
An hour later, I sat on the edge of the exam table in the compounds clinic, waiting for Alyssa to arrive. Everything about being here made me sick to my stomach; the room was too bright, and Demetrius’s presence beside me, rather than in the waiting room, set my teeth on edge.
The sex had temporarily bridged whatever gap had opened between us, but now it was back and wider than before. I could feel it in the way he kept checking his watch, in how his eyes never quite settled on me for more than a few seconds.
“Is this your way of proving you want to be wherever I am?” I asked, breaking the silence.
He didn’t smile, just nodded. “Something like that, baby.”
Before I could press further, there was a soft knock at the door, followed by Alyssa entering with a tablet in hand. Her eyes darted between us, lingering on Demetrius’s face for a beat too long.
“Either I’m dying or you two want to die,” I said flatly, crossing my arms.
The tension in the room was pissing me off, mostly because it was coming off my man.
Alyssa’s brow furrowed as she looked at Demetrius.
“I don’t know why he has that look on his face,” she said, then turned her attention to me.
“However, I just found out my seven-year-old is a bully.” Her frown deepened.
“Anyway, sorry to keep you waiting. I got your results, and you’re in good health.
There’s nothing that stands out to me on your scans or in your blood work.
But keep in mind that a lot of time has passed since the accident. ”
I exhaled slowly, not realizing I’d been holding my breath.
“So, nothing’s wrong with me?”
“Not physically, no.” Alyssa set the tablet down on the counter and leaned against it. “Your brain scans are normal, which is actually consistent with functional or dissociative amnesia. There’s no physical trauma to explain the memory loss.”
Demetrius shifted beside me. “What does that mean?”
“It means,” Alyssa continued, her voice taking on a more clinical tone, “that the memory loss could be associated with a host of psychological factors. Stress, emotional trauma, anxiety, all of these can trigger memory disruptions without leaving physical markers.”
I stared at her, trying to process what she was saying.
“I think it would be beneficial for you to undergo some additional psychological testing. There are specialists who—”
“Eh,” I cut in. “I’d rather not.”
The thought of someone picking through my mind, trying to unearth memories I might not want to remember, made my skin crawl.
It wasn’t just about Demetrius anymore.
Alyssa didn’t react, but I knew she was thinking about our last appointment.
“It’s only a suggestion, Forever. The choice is ultimately yours.”
Demetrius’s hand found mine, his fingers intertwining with my own. The gesture was both comforting and unsettling, given the strange mood that had settled between us.
“I want to tell you something,” he said quietly, his eyes finally meeting mine.
“And I’m doing it with Alyssa here, because she can help more than I can.
” He paused, seeming to choose his words carefully.
“You were having a nightmare in my office last night. You started talking in your sleep, saying things like ‘I won’t tell’ and ‘don’t hurt her.
’ You were begging someone not to do something. ”
I tried to recall, but there was nothing. All I remembered was falling asleep waiting for him and waking up in his bed.
“When you woke up,” he continued. “You were crying. Not just a few tears, but full-on sobbing as you kept saying ‘can’t be true’ over and over, baby.
That shit felt all kinds of wrong, but eventually, you fell back asleep, and I brought you to the compound.
After I almost killed Kai, but we can talk about that later. ”
I pulled my hand from his, understanding now why he needed space not long ago.
“I don’t remember that,” I said, my voice barely above a whisper.
He nodded, bringing my hand to his lips. “I know you don’t, baby. That frightened a nigga this morning.”
I couldn’t take my eyes off his, the events of the morning playing out in my mind like a movie. His concern and distance, the desperate way he’d fucked me upon my request, all of it made sense now.
“It made me wonder,” he went on, looking at Alyssa. “It made me wonder what else she’s forgotten and if maybe the memory loss had nothing to do with her accident.”
If I’d forgotten something as recent as last night, what else had slipped away without my notice? How many more holes were there in my mind?
“There could be a pattern to these episodes,” Alyssa said gently. “Maybe—”
My phone vibrated in my pocket, cutting through her words. I pulled it out, grateful for the distraction as I opened Carmen’s text.
Board of Trustees hearing set for the day after tomorrow
I stared at the screen, feeling oddly detached.
With everything else going on, the hearing seemed almost insignificant, but it was all I wanted to focus on at the moment.
Not about what I felt could only be tied to my mother and childhood. It wasn’t lost on me that I barely remembered anything before eleven. Before my ma drugged me.
“I can’t deal with this right now,” I said, shoving the phone back into my pocket.
“Whatever happened or didn’t happen to me, I don’t want to know.
” I stood abruptly, turning to Demetrius with pleading eyes.
“I’m hungry, can we eat now? Dr. Holland said I’m healthy.
Everything else will work out how it’s supposed to. ”
My husband looked at me for a long moment, his expression unreadable. I could see the debate happening behind his eyes before his shoulders finally dropped.
“Alright, baby,” he said, standing to join me. “We’ll go eat.”
The relief that washed over me was immediate. I knew I was running away from something important, but I couldn’t face it. Not with everything else closing in around me.
“Thank you, Alyssa,” I said, already moving toward the door. “For everything.”
She nodded, though her eyes held concern. “Just think about what I said, okay? And call me if anything else happens.”
As we left the exam room, Demetrius gently gripped my waist and guided me through the corridor in silence.
Unspoken insecurities plagued my mind, no matter how hard I tried to push them away. How could I trust my own mind when it was betraying me at every turn? And what secrets was it hiding from me?
For now, though, I was choosing breakfast. I was choosing normalcy, or at least the illusion of it.
The rest would have to wait until the day after tomorrow. At least, that’s what I kept telling myself.