CHAPTER ELEVEN MARCH #2
Griff and Winn always chose this as the hangout spot on these occasional outings. This was where they’d met years ago, and though he looked like a gruff cowboy, Griffin Eden was sentimental at heart.
At the moment, they were at the shuffleboard against the far wall, pretending to play when they were actually flirting between frequent kisses.
Memphis sat beside Knox, their chairs as close as possible so he could have one hand around her shoulders and his other hand splayed on her round belly. She was pregnant with their third, a girl this time.
Memphis was one of our designated drivers tonight.
Eloise was the other. She was sitting on Jasper’s lap, his body cradling hers so naturally it was like they’d molded to each other.
Talia and Foster were holding hands, their fingers interlaced.
When Vance joined Lyla, they shared a silent conversation, his disappointment with me ripe from across the room. But when she put her hand on his thigh, he relaxed and kissed her temple.
The empty chairs at the table, Mateo’s and mine, looked . . . lonely. Sad.
Where was he?
I scanned the room, finding him at the opposite end of the bar. He wasn’t alone.
A blond woman was on the stool beside his. She was pressed so close that their shoulders nearly touched. A flirty smile toyed on her red lips.
My heart lurched.
Mateo swirled his whiskey on the rocks with a plastic straw before taking a sip from the tumbler.
The woman’s gaze followed the movement and she licked her lips as he drank.
Oh, God. My stomach roiled just as Willie set my pop on the bar and held up one finger—the price.
“And rum,” I blurted.
Willie’s mouth pursed into a thin line, but he made me the cocktail while I watched Mateo.
Who was that woman? Did he know her? She hadn’t been here when we’d come in. Besides our group, there were only a few other patrons tonight, a few older couples and three men with beer bellies sitting at the bar. I recognized all of them from the coffee shop.
But the blond. She was new. And she was beautiful.
Was he going to pick her up? Tonight?
When Willie held up three fingers this time, I dug a five-dollar bill from my jeans pocket, barely sparing him a glance as I slapped it on the sticky bar. “Keep the change.”
My hand trembled as I took a long drink from my own glass, cringing at the burn of the alcohol. I took another sip. I stole another glance at the woman. Both hurt.
On shaking legs, I retreated to the table, sipping my drink as everyone else talked and laughed. My silence went unnoticed. It was overshadowed by the country music playing through the bar’s speakers.
Mateo’s empty chair was on the other side of the table. We still never sat beside each other, either at Anne and Harrison’s or at Willie’s. Somehow, I always landed beside Vance or Lyla. I wish I had taken that chair.
Mine was aimed directly at the bar where Mateo and the blond were talking. It was impossible not to watch them together.
She laughed. He grinned.
I fought a gag.
How many women had he picked up here? How many times had he taken a woman home from Willie’s?
Mateo had dated on and off for the past year. I only knew about it because Anne was usually Alaina’s babysitter. But it was all easier to ignore because none of his dates ever came to the ranch. To my knowledge, he hadn’t introduced any woman to his daughter.
That had to mean something, right? That Allie knew me. That Allie loved me.
The woman leaned in close to say something into his ear.
I slammed the last of my drink, gulping it down until all that remained was ice. Then I shot out of my chair and went to the bar, flagging down Willie for a refill.
The rum didn’t burn as much this time. My head felt lighter, my limbs looser, and when I sat in my seat, I tilted a bit too far to the side.
“Whoa.” Vance steadied me with a hand on my shoulder.
“I’m fine.” I batted him away.
Was this drunk? I’d never been drunk before.
I didn’t like it.
What the hell was I doing? I didn’t like drinking. If I went to a bar with the Edens or the friends I’d made this past year, I was a designated driver. Always.
But before I could shove my glass away and ignore it for the rest of the night, the blond put her hand on Mateo’s thigh beneath the bar. Her nails dragged along the denim of his jeans.
There was a scream inside my chest. I clamped my lips together to keep it from escaping. When I was sure I’d swallowed it down, I lifted the glass and chugged the rest of my drink. The ice cubes clattered as I set it on the table with too much force.
“Vera.” Vance put his hand on my wrist. “Enough.”
Enough.
He was right, wasn’t he? This was enough. This had to be enough.
Mateo was never going to think of me as anything other than an honorary member of the Eden family. He was never going to see me. He was never going to love me.
It wasn’t fair.
I’d worked so hard these past two years. On the dark days, when I’d almost given up hope, I’d kept going. I’d come so far.
I’d waited for him.
I’d waited and waited and waited.
Why had I waited? Why had I convinced myself there was even a chance he’d be mine?
Dad would be so disappointed. He’d hate that I’d waited just to be entirely . . . overlooked.
Enough.
Yes. Yes, it was enough.
I was out of my chair before I knew what I was doing.
“Vera.”
I ignored Vance and stalked to the bar. My head was fuzzy but my steps were surprisingly steady as I marched to that bombshell blond with red lips and matching nails.
Mateo noticed me first. He sat straighter, easing back from the woman.
She twisted on her stool, her smile dropping as she looked me over.
“Hey, Vera.” Mateo’s eyebrows came together. “You okay?”
“Don’t say ‘Hey.’ And no. I’m not okay.” I squared my shoulders. “I’m not your sister.”
“My sister?” His forehead furrowed. “What are you talking about? Are you drunk?”
“I think so.” I hated that I’d let myself get drunk. Hated that I’d done something like her. Hated that I’d lost him.
Mateo hadn’t even been mine to start with, but I’d lost him anyway.
I’d lost all of them.
God, it hurt. When was it going to stop hurting?
“He’s allergic to shellfish,” I told the blond.
Her eyebrows came together. “Huh?”
“His favorite color is blue. He loves snap peas but only if there is ranch to dip them in. Almost everything he buys for his daughter is purple.”
The woman glanced to Mateo. “You have a daughter?”
He ignored her, his stare fixed on me.
So I stared right back, holding his sapphire eyes as my own flooded. “He’s a pilot but he doesn’t fly anymore. I don’t know why. He’ll drop anything to help his sisters or brothers. He wears brown boots with a black belt even though they don’t match.”
Mateo’s throat bobbed and something flashed across his gaze, but I was too drunk to figure it out. Maybe he thought his brown boots and black belt did match.
“He’s a morning person. He drinks black coffee. He’s really good at math and can add numbers in his head faster than anyone I’ve ever met. He looks magical when he’s riding a horse. And light follows him. It’s always sunny when he’s around.”
Something wet dripped down my cheek. A tear. I let it splatter on the dirty bar floor and shifted my focus to the woman again.
The hardness and annoyance in her face was gone, replaced with that same tender pity Uncle Vance had given me earlier. It was excruciating to be pitied by this woman. This stranger who’d likely share Mateo’s bed tonight.
“He won’t treat you like you’re broken, even when you are,” I whispered as the tears streamed.
“Vera.” Mateo’s voice had a rasp, like he needed a drink of water.
He could have one when I was finished.
I rounded the woman’s stool, sliding in between them. The blond tried to nudge me out of the way with her knee, but I ignored her, standing strong. And before Mateo could say another word, I pressed my lips to his, holding that soft mouth for two aching heartbeats before I pulled away.
He stared at me, his face unreadable.
“I’m done waiting for you to see me.”
I flew from the bar. I ran. And as I raced down Quincy’s sidewalks, I put my love for Mateo away.
I shoved it in that locked box.
And buried it down deep.