CHAPTER THIRTEEN VERA #2
“Vera.” Mateo strode from the house, his hands in his coat pockets. He looked gorgeous in the faded light. He hadn’t shaved today. Mateo with a day of dark stubble was a favorite.
My heart trilled. Damn it.
Why did I have to love him? Why couldn’t I want anyone other than Mateo Eden? It would be so much easier that way.
I sighed as he stopped in front of me. “Please, Mateo. I don’t have it in me to—”
“You left. I don’t want you to leave your home because of what happened. No matter what, this is your place, Vera. You don’t have to leave.”
He was so good at saying the right thing. Even when he couldn’t have known I’d needed to hear it.
“Where did you go?” he asked.
“On a hike.”
A muscle feathered in his jaw as he frowned, the same frown Uncle Vance gave me after my hikes. Except Mateo didn’t know why I was going out there.
He believed Dad was a murderer who’d kept me captive for years. That I’d escaped my father’s clutches. From his perspective, why would I ever search for my father?
“You okay?” Mateo’s forehead furrowed as he studied my face.
I shrugged and met his gaze.
He had the most amazing blue eyes. I was glad that Alaina had them too.
“Does Allie like her dragon?” For her birthday, I’d bought Allie a green plush rocking dragon. A musical tune played when you squeezed one of its ears.
He nodded. “She loves it. Been climbing on and off of it all day.”
“Good.” I’d brought it over after the party last night, but we’d been in a rush to head to Willie’s so I hadn’t seen her try it. If I asked, he’d probably let me see her tonight, but I didn’t have it in me to face his parents.
Tomorrow. Once this embarrassment had faded a bit.
I took a step backward, ready to retreat to the loft, but he stopped me with a question.
“Why’d you pick a dragon instead of a horse?”
“She’ll have real horses to ride her entire life. I wanted her to have something magical instead.” The magic of childhood faded too soon.
Mateo rubbed a hand over his jaw. When it fell from his face, his shoulders dropped too. “At the bar—”
“Can we not talk about it? Please?”
“You said I was a pilot. That I don’t fly anymore and you didn’t know why.”
I pulled my lower lip between my teeth, wishing there was a hole somewhere in the driveway I could crawl into and hide. “I’m sorry—”
“Don’t.” He held up a hand. “Don’t apologize.”
“For embarrassing you?”
“I’m not embarrassed, Vera.”
“Well, that makes one of us,” I muttered.
He blew out a long breath and took a step closer. Almost too close. He stood there and stared down at me with a look on his face I couldn’t quite discern. He didn’t look angry or upset. He just looked . . . serious.
“What?” I whispered.
He didn’t answer. He just kept staring.
“I’m going to bed.” I took a step away, scurrying to safety.
“Vera,” he called.
Damn it. My frame sagged. My feet stopped. I’d waited a long time for Mateo to call to me. After months and months of pent-up desperation, I was powerless to resist.
“Yeah?”
“I love flying. I got my license while I was in college. Flew nearly the whole time I was there. I kept earning certificates until I became an instructor. I loved it so much that I almost dropped out of school just to be a pilot. But by that point, I’d spent a lot of Mom and Dad’s money on my education.
Everyone else had their degrees. So I stuck with school, graduated and came home.
Didn’t really have a passion for anything specific, so I helped out on the ranch and at the hotel to keep busy and make money.
Figured I’d kill some time before I decided on my own career path. ”
Why did it feel like no one knew this? Why was he telling me?
“I realized after a while that I needed to forge my own path,” he said. “Flying was the first thing that came to mind, so I started looking for jobs in Alaska. Got hired as a pilot to deliver supplies to remote areas of the state.”
“Did you like it?”
“Loved it. Enjoyed living in Alaska too.”
“Then why’d you leave?”
“I missed home.”
It sounded true. But only partially true. There was more to it, wasn’t there? Missing home, missing his family, wasn’t the whole reason he’d left a job he’d loved.
Was it Allie’s mother? Was she the reason he’d returned to Montana?
“I went up there looking for something and came home when I realized I hadn’t found it,” he said.
“What were you looking for?”
“I don’t know.” He shook his head. “That’s the hell of it.
I don’t even know what I was looking for.
Everyone here has their passion. For Griffin, it’s the ranch.
Knox has Knuckles. Talia has only ever wanted to be a doctor, and Lyla has Eden Coffee.
Eloise pours her heart and soul into the hotel.
I guess I was just waiting for something to spark.
For a time, flying was that spark. But it’s different here.
I don’t have a reason to fly. And after I came back, I sort of fell into my old life. ”
A life where he supported everyone else in their dreams while forsaking his own.
“You don’t have to be in Alaska to fly,” I said. “Why did you stop?”
“I don’t want to work for a commercial airline.
Always traveling. Sleeping in hotels instead of my own bed.
Living in a city because it’s a hub. That’s not the lifestyle for me.
But there’s not much demand for pilots in Quincy.
Crop-dusting. Working for the forest service during fire season.
It’s not impossible but . . . flying is a hobby. It’s easier that way.”
Because of Allie. Because if he worked on the ranch and at the hotel, he could be with his daughter every day. She could live surrounded by grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins.
He’d been considering moving back to Alaska a couple of years ago, but then Allie had been born. Mateo was a pilot. But first and foremost, he was a father.
“You should go fly,” I said. “Even if it’s just a hobby.”
“Would you go with me?”
My jaw dropped. “W-what?”
“Go with me. Have you ever been in a small plane?”
“Um, no.”
“Then we’ll go tomorrow.” He turned and walked away. Just declared we were flying, then walked away.
“Wait. I have to work tomorrow.”
“Then Tuesday,” he called over his shoulder, still walking.
No. Definitely not Tuesday. Why was he asking? Was this a pity thing? A way to make amends? For us to get past this, I needed some distance from Mateo, not to be trapped beside him in an airplane.
“I don’t like flying.” Maybe I liked flying. I’d never flown before.
He spun in a slow circle. Still walking. “You’ll like this.”
“Mateo—”
“Tuesday. I’ll pick you up at eleven.”
“Mateo,” I called.
“Night, Vera.”
Seriously? I wanted to puke again.
Instead, I stood, watching as he disappeared inside Anne and Harrison’s house. Then I tilted my head to the stars. “Shit.”