Chapter 22 #2
She’d been in Montana then, hadn’t she? She’d lived in the mountains where she still loved to hike. Did she ever revisit their old campsites? Had she found him already? Was she meeting him on her hikes?
Curious as I was, this wasn’t the time. Not as the loudest blast of thunder shook the walls and the rain pelted the tin roof.
Vera jerked, nuzzling closer. I listened for Allie again. If this storm kept up, it would wake her too. But there wasn’t a sound.
“A buddy of mine, another pilot, was getting married that June, so I flew back for a quick weekend trip to go to the wedding. After the reception, I went to my favorite old bar for a drink. Madison was there. We hooked up.” Try as I might, I’d still cared for her. Still wanted her. “I knew the score.”
And she’d made sure to remind me the minute I’d climbed out of her bed to deal with the condom.
A condom that had broken.
“I came home after the wedding. Put her out of my mind for good. Until months later, when I was about to come to a family dinner, and got a call from one of Madison’s friends.
We’d met before. She’d go with Madison to the bar from time to time.
I’m not even sure how she got my number, but I’m glad she had it. ”
When she’d told me her name, I hadn’t even remembered who it was.
“Mateo?”
“Yes.”
“This is Leesa.”
“Who?”
“Leesa. Madison’s friend.”
“When I left Alaska after that wedding, I hadn’t expected to hear from Madison again. We were done. She was done. I’d already moved.” I’d given her up.
Maybe that had been my mistake. Maybe I should have stuck around. So much would be different if I’d stayed.
Madison might still be alive.
“Leesa told me to get to Alaska. Right away. That Madison was . . . gone. I didn’t understand it at first. I thought she was asking me to get there to help find her, like a search and rescue.”
But when Leesa had started crying, when she’d said that Madison was dead, I’d dropped to my knees on the cabin’s kitchen floor.
“Madison started hemorrhaging after Allie was born. The doctors couldn’t stop it. She died in the delivery room.”
“Oh, God,” Vera gasped. “Mateo. I’m so sorry.”
My throat was thick, the words hard to choke out. “She didn’t tell me. Nine months and she never told me she was pregnant.”
I took a minute, breathing through the tightness in my chest. Madison’s death had been a tragedy. But everything else had been a betrayal. It was harder to talk about than the rest and was the part that didn’t make the story short.
“Allie was two days old when Leesa called me.”
“Wait. What?” Vera pushed back, eyes wide.
I nodded. “Madison’s family was going to take Allie. Only a few people knew I was her father, and they decided after Madison died, they weren’t going to tell me. Because Madison was never going to tell me. Leesa thought it was wrong. So she went behind their backs and made that phone call.”
Thank fuck. I wouldn’t have known my daughter otherwise. I’d have missed out on her entire life.
“When I showed up in Alaska and marched into the hospital, well . . . it was a mess. Madison’s family refused to acknowledge me. They said I wasn’t Allie’s father. I had to fight to get a paternity test.”
“Seriously?” Vera’s eyes bugged out. “How could they do that?”
“They wanted her.” I shrugged. “I’m just glad I was able to make it there so fast. Before they let anyone take Allie home.”
If not for my own plane, I wouldn’t have made it. That had been another harrowing flight, riddled with nerves and shock and adrenaline. Exactly the mental headspace they teach pilots to avoid.
“When the dust settled, after the paternity test results came in, the hospital released Allie to me. Madison’s parents were furious.
Threatened to go to court for custody. I knew I needed to get the hell out of Alaska.
But even then, I promised they could have a relationship with her.
That they were welcome in Quincy at any time. ”
“Have they ever visited?”
“Not once.” No visits. No birthday cards. No Christmas presents. No phone calls. They were as dead to Allie as her mother. “I haven’t spoken to them since the hospital.”
“Idiots,” Vera scoffed. “They don’t even know what they’re missing.”
“Yeah.” I breathed her in, a smile ghosting my lips. God, I loved that she was mad. That she knew how special Allie was. That she’d fight to stay in my daughter’s life.
This woman. She was spinning everything around, like I’d been wearing a shirt backward for years and she’d finally made me turn it right.
“Do you think Madison would have ever told you?” Vera asked. “About Allie?”
“I don’t know,” I murmured. “I spent a lot of time with Leesa at the hospital. She was the one who’d brought Madison to the hospital when she’d gone into labor.
She’d stuck around after Madison died. When I asked her the same question, she just stayed quiet.
I think she wanted to give her friend the benefit of the doubt. ”
Vera gave me a sad smile. “Understandable.”
“Someday, Allie will ask about her mom. I hope by then, I’ll know what to say.”
“You will.” She lifted her hand to my cheek. “Thanks for telling me.”
Thunder boomed again, but Vera didn’t so much as blink. She kept her eyes locked on mine, and when I bent to take her mouth, she sank into the kiss.
My sweats were stripped to the floor once again. The T-shirt she was wearing was dragged over her head. And when I slid inside her tight body, the world faded away. The storm. The past. All that mattered was Vera.
When we broke apart hours later, limbs tangled and skin sweat-slicked, the thunder’s roar had faded to a rumble. The wind had stopped whipping against the walls. The rain was slow and steady, white noise that followed us both into sleep.
The next morning, when I woke to find Vera in the kitchen with Allie again, the sky was blue. The sun was shining.
The weather today, inside and out, was clear and a million.