Chapter 27
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
MATEO
The check on my kitchen counter was annoying me.
It snared my attention for what felt like the billionth time since I’d left it by the coffee pot earlier.
It was pale blue and printed with black ink.
Simple. Standard. But for as many times as I’d looked at it today, it might as well have been neon yellow with three-dimensional letters and a flashing strobe light.
Griffin had given it to me today when I’d gone to his place to finish up the rework of his corrals. When the last panel had been put into place, he’d asked me to come inside. Then he’d handed over that check.
My paycheck.
It certainly wasn’t the first. He’d been paying me when he paid the other ranch hands. But today’s check was the first I didn’t want.
I hadn’t filled out Eloise’s direct deposit form either.
Working on the ranch was my job. A job I’d always enjoyed. Not loved. Enjoyed. It, along with the work I did at the hotel, paid the bills.
I wasn’t a man who needed wealth to feel successful. I counted blessings, not pennies. My good fortune came from those I loved, especially the little girl asleep for her afternoon nap and the woman who had captured my heart in a matter of weeks.
But I still needed money. Allie would need to go to college one day. I’d love to take Vera on a trip somewhere. Maybe we’d fly to the desert this winter and escape the snow.
It should be enough. Working for my family’s ranch, living to make Allie and Vera smile and build a future together should be enough.
It wasn’t enough.
Vera’s words from last week kept haunting me. Every time I looked at that paycheck, I heard her voice.
You were born to fly.
That woman knew me arguably better than I knew myself. She was right. It was time to finally make a move. But what? Crop-dusting was . . . crop-dusting. There wasn’t a lot of need for it in this area of Montana because the land was rugged. More trees than prairie. More cattle than wheat.
There was flying during forest fire season, but that would keep me away from home for months in a bad fire year. I couldn’t be apart from Allie or Vera for that long.
Maybe I could start a flight school in Quincy. I’d probably have one student a year, at most.
Or . . . we moved.
I loved flying. No question. And if I had no attachments, I’d go back to Alaska and fly every day.
But that wasn’t where I wanted to raise Allie.
And I wouldn’t move Vera. Not only because she was so intent on finding her father, but because she needed Montana.
She needed Quincy. She needed the Edens.
And if we did find Cormac Gallagher, then I really wasn’t sure what we’d do.
We hadn’t talked about Cormac since that day on Sable Peak.
We hadn’t gone hiking again. Vera had been busy studying, taking her two exams and working.
When she came to the cabin every evening, the last thing I wanted was to weigh her down with anything heavy, so I hadn’t asked about her father.
We hadn’t discussed the FBI agent either.
Swenson had left two days after talking to Vera at Eden Coffee. I’d asked Eloise to tell me when he’d checked out of the hotel. For now, I could put him out of my mind. But not Cormac.
Maybe the reason I hadn’t brought it up to Vera was because I still wasn’t sure what to make of it. What to think of Cormac. Of Vera’s mother.
Norah. Her name was Norah. As far as I could remember, I’d never heard Vera say that name. In two years, I couldn’t recall a single time when she’d spoken her sisters’ names either.
And up until last week, she hadn’t talked about Cormac.
That bastard had tried to strangle my sister. I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to let that go. He could have killed her, whether he’d intended to or not. Whether he’d done it to protect Vera or not. He’d choked my sister.
How was I supposed to be okay with this? How was Lyla? Or Vance?
The crunch of wheels on gravel tore me from my thoughts, and I walked out of the kitchen to the front door, opening it as Vance’s truck parked beside mine.
He was dressed for work in a button-down Quincy Police Department shirt, his badge and gun holstered on the belt of his jeans. He carried a vase of pink roses as he walked to the porch and climbed the stairs. “Hey.”
“Nice flowers.”
“They’re for Vera. Figured she’d probably enjoy them more if they were here than at the loft.”
“Come on in.” I jerked my chin for him to follow me inside, then closed the door behind us. “I was just thinking about you.”
“That sounds dangerous.” He set the vase down, then leaned against the counter, like it was the only thing keeping him upright.
“I was, uh, thinking about Cormac.”
“Ah.” Vance nodded. “How much did Vera tell you?”
“Enough. Not everything. But enough.”
“Sorry.” His shoulders drooped. “We probably should have come clean with the truth a while ago, but . . .”
“You’re protecting him too.” What was it about Cormac Gallagher that inspired so much loyalty?
“We’re protecting Vera. We’re just trying to do what’s best for her. If Cormac goes to prison, she’ll be devastated.”
Yeah, it would break her heart. And knowing her, if Cormac was arrested, she’d go visit him every week. That was not the life I wanted for her.
“And Lyla?” I asked. “How does she feel about it?”
“Conflicted,” Vance said. “We both are. I’ll never forgive him for what he did to her. But . . . it’s complicated.”
Complicated. As much as I hated that word, I understood. My feelings toward Madison would always be complicated. And that was it. They were just complicated.
There was no making sense of it. No matter how hard I tried, not everything was cut and dry, black and white. Sometimes, it was a goddamn muddy mess.
“What are the flowers for?” I asked.
Vance didn’t answer. He stared off into space, a sheen of tears in his eyes.
Fuck.
“It’s today,” I guessed. The anniversary of the night that had changed Vera’s life. Her sisters’ deaths.
Vance nodded.
I dragged a hand over my face. “She didn’t say anything.”
Vera had left for work this morning like she had all of the other mornings this week.
She’d played with Allie over a cup of coffee, then kissed me goodbye before heading into town.
Last night, while we’d watched TV on the couch, she hadn’t mentioned a thing about today.
She hadn’t hinted that it was significant.
“No, I doubt she would.” Vance sighed. “Last year, she pretended like it was just another day. Wouldn’t talk to me about anything. Would hardly look at me. Year before that, she avoided me completely. She went hiking and didn’t come back until after dark.”
“Looking for Cormac?”
“Probably.”
Damn it. Was she at work today? She’d promised not to go searching for Cormac alone, but what if she’d done it anyway? I’d understand. Today of all days, I’d understand.
“She’s at work,” Vance said, reading my thoughts. “Drove by on my way out. Saw her through the windows.”
“You didn’t want to deliver those flowers in person?”
He shook his head. “I think she wants to pretend it never happened. That’s what she did all those years with Cormac. When I found them, he told me she refused to talk about it. And when he explained it all, she wasn’t there. She’d left so she wouldn’t have to hear it.”
My heart twisted. The pain Vera must keep locked inside. The secrets. How could she bear it?
“I’d better get back to work.” Vance shoved off the counter and walked toward the door.
But before he slipped out, I put a hand on his shoulder, giving it a squeeze. “I’m sorry.”
“Me too.” He gave me a sad smile, then headed for his truck, waving as he backed out and drove away.
Vera wasn’t the only person who mourned those girls today. Did Cormac know what day it was?
If something happened to Allie, I—
No. I couldn’t even think about that. The grief Cormac must have felt. The grief he’d always carry.
Instead of dragging Vera into the wilderness, he should have left her behind where she could have gotten help. But he’d lost two daughters. Could I really blame him for not wanting to lose another?
Damn. Yeah, it was complicated.
I stood on the porch, staring into the distance until long after the dust had settled from his tires.
How did I help Vera if I didn’t know what had actually happened? What did I say?
“Daddy.” Allie’s voice pulled me back inside as she came out of her room, fists rubbing sleepy eyes.
“Hi, Sprout.” I went and picked her up. “Did you have a good nap?”
She snuggled into my shoulder, eyelids still heavy. So we cuddled on the couch until she woke up enough to go with me outside to do some more work on the firepit.
It was dark by the time Vera’s headlights flashed outside. Hours past closing time at Eden Coffee. But she’d had to do an assignment for one of her classes and said she might just stay at the cafe after closing to knock it out before the weekend.
Had she stayed at the coffee shop? Or had she done something alone tonight, something to honor her sisters?
“Hey.” She came inside, as beautiful as ever. Tired, but no more than any other night following a long day at the coffee shop. If not for Vance, I never would have known about today.
“Hi, darlin’.” I shut off the TV and stood from the couch. When she walked through the door to this house, she got a kiss. And even though I still wasn’t sure what to say, even after thinking about it for hours, she was getting that kiss.
So I crossed the room, framed her face in my palms and kissed that perfect mouth.
She smiled as she toed off her shoes, gripping my forearm to keep her balance. That smile wavered when she glanced past my shoulder and saw the roses on the counter.
“Those are from Vance.”
“Oh.” It was her sad oh. The sound of realization that she couldn’t keep everything hidden, not from me. Vera’s eyes closed, her shoulders slumped. “He told you. What today is.”
“Why didn’t you?”