Chapter 7
CHAPTER SEVEN
Ben
Ican feel Seb’s gaze on me as I follow Ashlyn through Eden.
I don’t blame him. He’s just looking out for her, but nothing was going to stop me from talking to her tonight.
I’ve spent the past few days trying to get her to hear me out, but she’s not in work and not taking my calls.
Now that she’s finally giving me the chance to explain, relief and dread twist together in my chest. I don’t know if my words will make a difference, if she’ll ever be able to forgive me.
This is the first time I’ve put myself out there in six years, but I handled everything so badly.
I just hope I haven’t ruined it beyond repair.
“It’s just through here,” Ash says, gesturing toward a door leading into a staff-only area.
I wait as she swipes a fob against the security lock then follow her into the dimly lit corridor and up a narrow staircase. When we reach the apartment, she pushes open the door and steps inside.
She crosses the room and sinks onto a dark gray sofa, her hands fidgeting with the strap of her purse in her lap. I take a steadying breath, close the door behind me, and walk over to sit beside her.
She exhales sharply. “Say whatever it is you have to say, Ben.”
There’s exhaustion in her voice and a weariness that stings more than anger would have. I hate that I’m the reason for it. I should have been honest from the start; from the moment I realized how deeply I felt for her.
“Look at me, Ash,” I say quietly.
She hesitates then slowly lifts her gaze to mine. My stomach twists. I need her to understand. I don’t want this to be the end. What’s between us is real, and I think she feels it too.
“Ben…,” she starts, but I speak before she can shut me down.
“My wife’s name is Molly,” I say, my voice rough. “We’ve been married for seventeen years.”
Her breath catches, her eyes wide. “Seventeen years?”
I nod. “We were happy for a long time. But about seven years ago, things started to change. We’d been together more than twenty years by then, and we’d grown apart. We still cared about each other, but neither of us was sure we were in love anymore.”
I drag a hand through my hair, my chest tight. Saying it all out loud is harder than I expected, and I wish I could read her expression. But I press on, knowing I have to get it all out before it’s too late.
“We both wanted what was best for Laney. In a last-ditch effort to save our marriage, we took a make-or-break vacation, just the two of us, skiing in Vermont. By the end of that week, we made the painful decision to separate. It was what we both wanted, and we knew Laney deserved two happy parents, even if that meant we lived apart.”
Ash’s voice is quiet when she asks, “What happened?”
I close my eyes, exhaling slowly. “Molly was always the better skier. On our last day, she wanted to try one of the red runs. I wasn’t as confident, so I jumped off the lift at an easier trail while she stayed on, heading higher up the mountain.
She lost control on the way down and hit her head on an exposed rock.
” I swallow hard. “She’s been in a coma ever since. ”
Ash inhales sharply. “God, I’m so sorry, Ben.”
I nod, staring at the floor. “How could I walk away after that? The doctors were optimistic at first. She was breathing on her own, so we thought it was only a matter of time before she woke up. I told myself that once she did, we’d follow through with our plan to separate.
” My throat tightens. “But six years later, she’s still asleep… and I’m stuck in limbo.”
“I can’t imagine how tough that must be.”
She reaches for my hand, her fingers warm against mine, and hope flares in my chest. Her thumb moves in slow circles over my skin, and I cling to the small comfort of her touch.
“It was hardest on Laney,” I admit. “She needed me after the accident, so I focused everything on her. But she’s older now, and when I met you…
” I trail off, watching as Ash bites her lip.
My gaze drops to her mouth before I force myself to continue.
“For the first time in six years, I wanted something for myself. I wanted you. But instead of being honest, I buried everything. I was an idiot.”
Her brows furrow. “That’s the complication you couldn’t bring yourself to tell me about?
I nod. “Every time we were together, I tried to find the words. But I was falling for you, and the fear of losing you kept stopping me. I didn’t want to ruin what we had before it even started.”
She shakes her head. “But… you had to know I’d find out eventually.”
I sigh. “I know, and I was going to tell you, I swear.”
She hesitates, then asks, “Why invite me to your place if there was a chance your daughter would be there?”
“She was supposed to be staying with my parents that night. I guess her plans changed.”
A long pause stretches between us before she finally asks, “Does she know you and Molly planned to separate?”
I let out a slow breath. “She was twelve when the accident happened. I didn’t see the point in telling her unless Molly woke up. When that never happened, I had no idea how to even start the conversation.”
“She still doesn’t know?”
I shake my head. “She’s already been through so much these past few years. I didn’t have the heart to add to it.”
Ashlyn exhales softly. “That explains her reaction when she saw me at your place.”
“I should have been honest with her too,” I admit. “I just didn’t know how.” I squeeze Ashlyn’s hand. “But then I met you, and everything changed. There’s something between us, Ash. I know you feel it too.”
She doesn’t respond, and I wish I knew what she was thinking. Instead, she closes her eyes and takes a deep breath.
“Where’s Molly now?” she finally asks.
“She’s in a care facility in Phoenix.” He sighs.
“Six months after the accident, the insurance company stopped paying out. I couldn’t afford her care, so Molly’s brother stepped in.
Their parents died when they were kids, and he’s always been fiercely protective.
He owns a tech company in the city, so money’s not an issue for him.
I’m grateful, of course, but we’ve never got along, and when I decided to make the move here, he wouldn’t consider moving her.
Laney was furious with me. She wouldn’t talk to me for weeks.
She didn’t want to leave her, but my hands were tied.
She’s in a great facility. One of the best.”
“But you and Laney still visit?”
I nod. “Not as often as Laney would like. We used to go every week, but now it’s only a couple of times a month.”
Ashlyn stays quiet, her expression unreadable. I brush my thumb over the back of her hand, hoping to offer her a small amount of comfort.
“I don’t know what to say, Ben,” she whispers. “I need time. This is a lot to process…” She trails off, pulling her hand from mine as she stands from the sofa.
Her words hit me like a punch to the gut, but I know I can’t push her. What choice do I have? If I’d just been honest with her from the start, maybe things would be different. But I wasn’t. And now there’s a real possibility she might walk away.
I stand and move toward her, reaching for her hands, but she shakes her head and steps back.
“Don’t,” she whispers, her eyes dropping to the floor.
My heart sinks, but I respect her wishes and take a small step back.
“I’ll give you some space,” I say quietly. “I really am sorry, Ash.”
I mean it. I just wish she believed me. But when she doesn’t respond or even look at me, I wonder if I’ve already lost her.
“I should go,” I say quietly, my voice unsteady. “Call me when you’re ready to talk.”
I turn toward the door, but before I can leave, she speaks. “Ben,” she says softly.
I stop and turn back.
“I’m sorry this happened to you, Laney, and Molly. I can’t even imagine what you’ve all been through.”
I want to pull her into my arms, to hold her close and make this right. But I know I can’t. She won’t let me. Instead, I give her a small, bittersweet smile before slipping out of the apartment and closing the door behind me.