Chapter 18
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Ben
Idon’t want to leave Ashlyn in the foyer of her apartment building, but with Laney threatening to throw up, I have no choice.
With a reluctant wave, I pull away. My anger toward Laney is so overwhelming that I can barely see straight, my grip on the steering wheel turning my knuckles white.
A quick glance in the rearview mirror shows Laney with her eyes closed.
Maybe it’s for the best. We should wait until we’re home to talk.
Right now, I’m so furious, I’d probably say something I’d regret.
Twenty minutes later, I pull onto the driveway.
“We’re home,” I say before opening the door and climbing out. Laney follows slowly, my frustration growing as I wait on the porch for her to close the car door. The car locks automatically, and I open the front door and walk inside.
“What the hell happened tonight, Laney?” I ask.
“I don’t know what you mean,” she says, pushing past me and walking into the kitchen.
I follow her. “I mean, the way you treated Ashlyn. You were rude.”
She doesn’t answer as she busies herself getting a glass of water. When she’s done, she goes to walk past me, but I block her path.
“Laney!”
“What?” she shouts, banging her glass down on the countertop, water splashing onto the black granite. “What do you want from me? Did you think I’d just roll over and accept Ashlyn into our lives? I didn’t ask for this. I didn’t ask for any of this!”
“And you think I did?” I yell back. “You think I wanted to be a single dad?”
“You wanted to leave mom!”
I sigh. “We both wanted to separate, Laney. It was a joint decision.”
“So you say,” she mutters.
I groan. “I can’t keep having the same conversation with you in the hope the ending changes. I gave up everything while you were growing up–”
“Well, I’m sorry I ruined your life,” she shouts, cutting me off.
“Jesus, Laney! You didn’t ruin my life. If you’d let me finish, I was going to say that I gave up everything while you were growing up and I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat. I don’t regret a second.”
“But you won’t.”
“Won’t what?”
“Do it all over again in a heartbeat. You won’t give up Ashlyn.”
My eyes meet hers, my chest tightening. I thought I’d done a decent job raising her on my own.
It was tough, one of the hardest things I’ve ever faced, but I thought we’d made it through.
After tonight, hearing her speak like an entitled brat, I can’t help but wonder where I went wrong. In this moment, I barely recognize her.
“No, Laney. I won’t. You’re not a kid anymore. You don’t need me the same way you used to.” I hold her gaze.
“I want you to be with Mom.”
“And if I can’t be with Mom, then you want me to be alone forever?”
She sighs. “Of course not.”
“Ash makes me happy.”
“Why does it have to be her?”
I frown. “Why not her? You can’t help who you fall in love with, Laney.”
She gasps and takes a step back. “You’re in love with her?” she whispers.
I reach for her hand. “Yes, I’m falling in love with her. We haven’t been together that long, but I think this could be the real thing.” When she doesn’t say anything, I squeeze her hand. “I know you’d like her if you’d just give her a chance.”
“I should go to bed,” she mumbles, pulling her hand from mine.
“We’re not done talking.”
“I have nothing left to say.”
“Fine. You’re grounded. This house, school, and Gran and Gramps’s place are the only three places you’re going for a month. No friends, no parties, no drinking.”
She lets out a sarcastic laugh. “You’re grounding me because I don’t get on with your girlfriend?”
“This has nothing to do with Ash. You’re grounded because you used a fake ID to get into a bar.”
“You can’t ground me. I’m eighteen.”
“I’m your father; I can do what I want. If you’re going to act like a child, then I’ll treat you like one.”
“Surely, getting into a bar makes me the opposite of a child,” she sasses.
“Don’t test me, Laney. I’ll take your car and your allowance if you continue with this behavior.”
“This is ridiculous.”
She huffs, grabs her glass of water from the countertop, and storms past me. Her feet are heavy on the stairs as she races up them, followed by the slamming of her bedroom door.
With a heavy sigh, I sink onto one of the stools at the breakfast bar, resting my head in my hands.
I hate fighting with her, but her behavior tonight was completely out of control.
It’s all my fault. She’s pushing back against my relationship with Ashlyn, and the truth is, I have no idea how to handle it.
I want to be with Ash, but I also want Laney to be okay with it.
I just wish I knew how to make both things possible.
I lock up and head upstairs, passing by Laney’s room without saying goodnight.
We’ve both said enough for one night. Maybe things will seem better in the morning.
After a quick shower, I climb into bed and grab my phone from the nightstand.
Ashlyn is probably asleep, but I still want to check in on her.
Unlocking my phone, I type out a message.
Me: Hey, baby. Are you awake?
I stare at the screen, waiting for a reply.
When I see the typing indicator appear, a wave of relief washes over me.
She’s still here. I know Ash told me she was all in when we talked the other night, but I wouldn’t blame her if she chose to walk away.
My life is anything but simple, and she doesn’t deserve all this chaos. My phone chimes with a message.
Ashlyn: Hey. I’m awake. Are you home? How’s Laney feeling?
Me: We’re home. Laney’s okay. Nothing some water and Tylenol won’t fix. I’m sorry about how she spoke to you.
Ashlyn: She’s hurting, Ben. I get it. I’d be pissed too.
Me: You’re incredible, you know that?
Ashlyn: Not sure Laney would agree.
Me: It’ll be okay, Ash.
Ashlyn: Will it?
I read her last message and let out a heavy sigh. Am I just fooling myself? I want to believe everything will be okay, that Laney just needs time, but I’m not so sure now.
Me: I hope so, baby.
Ashlyn: Me too. Night, Ben.
Me: Night, Ash.
I switch off the bedroom light, but sleep refuses to come.
No matter how much I try to reassure myself, and her, that everything will work out, I don’t know that it will.
The truth is, I’m scared. Scared I won’t be what she needs.
Scared I’ll disappoint her. Scared that my daughter won’t be able to accept this, or worse, that trying to hold onto both of them will tear everything apart.
And that’s something I can’t let happen.