Chapter 38
MORRIGAN
None of this was how I imagined reuniting with Kaiden.
I wasn’t even sure what part of this entire nightmare I needed to focus on.
If I thought being made to be a blood bag for the lords was bad, finding out that I had been created in the very image of Kaiden’s first love seemed to feel ten times worse.
The pain that buried itself into my chest—caving a hollow emptiness—scared me far worse than the knife held at my throat.
“The gods could place the world at my feet, and I would still choose you… every time.”
Were those words ever actually meant for me? Or was he speaking to the girl that reflected back at him in my eyes?
The only thing I knew for certain was that Kaiden didn’t kill Mara. Regardless of what these people believed, the pain that Kaiden bore—even in the short time I had known him so far—could never be felt by such a guilty heart.
“Listen to me, Mara,” I whispered, keeping myself as still as possible. “If Kaiden says it wasn’t him, then it wasn’t. There has to be an explanation.”
She pulled at the knife, forcing me to arch my back to avoid its cut. “Don’t think for one second that my relationship with Tristan will stop me from killing you. I’ve had to see you every single day, and it has made me sick to my stomach.”
“Mara.” Malakai’s rumble was low and threatening, and I couldn’t deny the guilt I felt in my heart knowing it was aimed at his friend. “Tristan promised you Kaiden, but she was not a part of that deal. He isn’t worth it, love. Think of what you’d be giving up. How long have we known each other?”
“It doesn’t matter.” Mara shook her head behind me. “It isn’t fair, Mal!”
Even though my life was the one at stake, I still felt so much empathy for her. Whatever happened, it was a fate she didn’t deserve. Just another way the gods have mocked the very mortals that they created. They didn’t care about us, and that was a hard enough pill to swallow.
But then, after all she had been through, having to face the very person created to replace her in every possible way… Her coldness made sense now. As did Kaiden’s.
When I turned to him, his eyes remained on hers in an impossible expression that I couldn’t quite decipher. Was it real? Any of it? Is that why he hated me so much?
“Because the second I saw your face, I fucking loved you.”
Her face.
I hadn’t meant to allow the silent sob to leave my lips, but as the tear fell down my cheek, Kaiden’s eyes shifted to mine. He tracked the tear, and his face fell as though he could hear the thoughts spiraling in my head.
“Morrigan…” he whispered, though I had never heard his voice sound so small before.
Tell me it isn’t true, I pleaded in my mind, wishing he could hear it the same way Tristan could. Tell me I’m wrong.
Just then, the air began to change. A cold breeze swept through the trees, raking a chill through my bones as darkness stretched beyond the shadows. All eyes turned in its direction, and seconds later, Tristan emerged.
His eyes were trained on Mara with a hardness I doubted he had ever directed toward her before.
“Mara,” he commanded with just one word. His voice was laced with bitterness, and I had a horrible feeling of what was to come.
Behind me, she began to tremble slightly.
“I’m sorry, Tristan,” she whispered. “I h-have to… I want her. I know you promised me Kaiden, but I want to live! No one will even notice! She’s basically a copy of me, Tristan.
I can have it—her body. Once it’s done, you’ll get your light back, and Morrigan’s soul can stay here with you.
It’s everything you want. I want the life I should have lived. I deserve it!”
Mara pulled me closer to her, but I didn’t care.
I turned back to Kaiden, still begging him with my eyes to say anything that would sooth this burning ache in my heart.
To tell me he didn’t fall in love with me simply because I looked like her.
That he wanted me. That, with the center of his world now at his feet, just as he had sworn, he would still choose me.
“Mara, if you so much as leave a single mark on her, I will not be able to forgive you. Release her,” he warned.
“I helped raise you, Tristan.” Her voice cracked slightly with emotion that she held so heavily on her shoulders. “You would truly choose her over me?”
“Yes.” Tristan never hesitated, and something about that fact broke me as well, just as it must have broken her.
And Kaiden… He still hadn’t spoken.
“Wow,” Mara laughed in my ear, her voice no louder than a whisper. “You’ve really got them wrapped around your little finger, don’t you?”
“Our deal stands,” Tristan announced, and Kaiden’s eyes shot to his in utter disgust. “We can forget about this. Just let Morrigan go.”
“No,” I quickly interjected. I might have felt my heart shattering, but nothing would make me sit idly by and allow them to hurt Kaiden. He didn’t deserve it. I angled my head back at her as much as I could. “You touch Kaiden, and I will kill you.”
Mara’s smile was anything but genuine. “Look at that, Tristan! She’s a full-fledged killer now.
” She lowered her lips to my ear as she slowly began to lower the blade.
“I’ve been stuck here for nearly three hundred years.
I’ve played their games, and lost… as will you eventually.
” Just when I thought she was going to step back, she whispered, “This is for your own good.”
Then, she lifted the blade in the air, and my flames reacted before I could. My hand shot up, wrapping my fingers around her wrist and sending every ounce of heat into her. The dagger slipped from her grasp as she screamed out in pain, instantly releasing me.
After she stumbled back, Kaiden was the first person to approach, but I raised my shaking hand to stop him.
“Don’t touch me!” My body rushed with adrenaline, and just the sight of his eyes set off a storm of fury in my veins.
Lies… It was all lies…
“Morrigan,” he mumbled quietly. “Please just let me explain—”
“No.”
Something overtook me in that moment. Every part of my skin blazed and, though I could still see, my eyes began to glow with a fierceness that lit up every shadow around us. Kaiden stayed in his spot, looking at me and raising his own hands in a sign of surrender.
“Morrigan…” It was no longer a plea, but almost a low warning.
He’s a liar, just like the others… As the thought formed, my eyes shone brighter, and a buzzing began in my hands—one that made my skin itch.
There was so much power, and it felt like my body was going to explode.
The wind picked up, circling the five of us until it snatched every piece of small debris and ash from the ground, enclosing us together.
“Morrigan!” Malakai yelled, but now his voice had faded somewhere. It sounded like he was several yards away, though I knew he stood just nearby.
Something poked at the forefront of my mind. It was… familiar. I let it slip by and instantly felt the ease of Tristan’s powers touching my own.
You’re having a power surge, Morrigan. You need to relax.
I can’t, I told him honestly.
So much fire… So much anger…
So many people had taken advantage of me in my life. Maeryn… Cain… Aamon… Kaiden… I looked down at my hands, only to realize that flames were wrapped around them in an almost blinding light. They swirled over my wrists, comforting my anger while fueling it at the same time.
“Tristan, her nose is bleeding!” Malakai yelled.
“What the fuck is happening?!” Kaiden’s muffled voice shook with what sounded like panic.
Why were they panicking? It felt so… good. The power gave me more bliss than alcohol ever did. I closed my eyes, but all I could see against my lids was pure light. It wasn’t the magic doing this, not Tristan’s light. It was me.
I am the fire.
“She’s going to die anyway, Tristan! If you don’t do something, she’ll kill the rest of us, too!” Mara yelled, her voice seeming to cut through the haze. Instantly, my fire seemed to flinch in response, like it saw her as a threat.
Then, I heard her groan as the sound of a blade whipping through the air seemed to echo in my ears before it actually happened. I turned around, my eyes snapping open, and my flames lashed out. I felt them wrap around Mara’s arms and neck.
Morrigan, please. You have to pull yourself back. You’re hurting yourself, Tristan pleaded.
But I couldn’t have stopped myself even if I had tried.
My fire tightened around her, blinding everyone nearby, and the skin that had once been fair and pale slowly turned black beneath my fire.
Mara screamed as her body was consumed by darkness, covering her from head to toe, turning her skin to ash.
Within seconds, her remains dropped from my grasp, and they piled together on the ground beneath me.
“H-How did she…”
“She has Tristan’s light inside of her,” Malakai explained, and I could hear the coldness in his tone. I had just killed one of his only friends.
Why isn’t the guilt hitting me? Why am I not feeling any remorse?
“Why the fuck does she have Tristan’s—”
“Morrigan,” Tristan said out loud. Though his voice was loud, it carried so much peace with it. “She’s gone. The threat is gone.”
I felt him move toward me, and my flames perked up—like they could no longer determine whom to trust.
But as I felt his power reach out to me once more, my conscience seemed to roll back in with it. “I—” I whispered, blood rushing to my head as I felt warm liquid sliding down my neck from my ears, “I didn’t mean… I didn’t mean to…”
“It’s okay,” Tristan answered. He stepped closer again, and, though my flames remained on guard, they didn’t hurt him. “Let me help you, Morrigan. Let me help you, just as you helped me.”
He tried moving again, but the light inside of me seemed to think that he was close enough. A burst of light erupted from my body, and I felt every inch of it as it exploded with energy that seemed to rake through my limbs. A sudden tearing sensation stretched along my skin.
“Morrigan!” Kaiden yelled, but the sound of his voice only seemed to further enrage the simmering heat in my chest.
“Would you shut the fuck up?!” Malakai yelled at him. “Let Tristan handle this before you get us all killed!”
Morrigan, please, Tristan begged. You’re hurting yourself. Just let me in.
I started losing feeling in my limbs. It began in my toes, tingling as it crept up my legs.
Then, my fingers… my arms… “I don’t feel…
” I mumbled through slurred words. “Tristan…” As his name left my lips, my knees buckled, and I fell to the floor.
A hand caught my head, but I couldn’t tell who held me.
As my light began to fade, my body started to jerk involuntarily.
I couldn’t speak, couldn’t move. All I could do was lay there as convulsions took over my body.
Blurry figures stepped into view and knelt down. “What’s happening to her?” It sounded like Kaiden.
“Morrigan,” Malakai whispered, trying to get my attention. “Tristan, help her! Can’t you do what she did earlier?!”
“I’m trying, Mal!”
But as I felt the slight presence of Tristan’s light calling to mine, everything faded to black.