Chapter 43
MORRIGAN
Tristan left the head of the table open for me, and as I sat down, every pair of eyes seemed to track my movement.
Well… every pair but D’s.
“I want to apologize for whatever you may have experienced when you first got here,” I began. “I know you thought you were saving me, but I promise that I’ve been relatively safe here.”
If I exclude the part where I was chased by necroviants and had to fight off almost one hundred vampyres…
“Good, because I would love to go home now,” Naaz announced beside Eris.
I scrunched my nose as I sat up in my chair.
“I… can’t leave… yet.” A trail of disgruntled groans rippled throughout the table.
“The fire—my fire… I’m not one of the gifted like you all seemed to suspect.
Nor did it stem from the bonds.” Tristan shifted uncomfortably on my left.
“As most of you are likely aware by now, Tristan is the son of Rosina and Ryuk. And… somehow… our fates tangled themselves together.”
“Morrigan, with all due respect, I’ve had to listen to the riddles of seers for the past few weeks,” Naaz sighed. “Please, just say what you’re trying to say so we can all leave.”
Here goes nothing.
“I, technically, have a piece of his light inside of me.” I cringed internally at how dirty that sounded. “The power that emerged—the fire—it was his power… kind of… awakening itself.”
Eris narrowed his eyes at Tristan. “When her room burned down, she was yelling at you, wasn’t she?”
“I’ve been able to hear him almost my entire life. At some point, after a few of the bonds were in place, I began to see him as well. I think the blood kind of helped trigger the magic that had been hiding,” I attempted to explain.
While some of them mumbled comments to themselves, Dez leaned forward on my right. “That makes so much sense,” he laughed. “The wraiths! They were Rosina’s handmaidens. They must have sensed a trace of her in your magic and called to you.”
I nodded in agreement. “They kept whispering something to me.” I had to search my mind for the word I heard that night, and again in the water after the necroviants chased us. “Ecce.”
“Behold,” Kaiden answered from the other end of the table. “That is the old language of the gods. Other than the priests and priestesses, we are the only ones who can still speak it.”
“Speak for yourself,” Dez muttered under his breath.
I shifted in my seat to face Tristan. “The wraiths were here, too. When Azrael and I fell from the cliff, we landed in water. They said it again as they pulled us out. Azrael had swallowed some of the water, and they were able to remove it from his lungs.”
How did I not bring this up before?
“I can’t imagine that they are the same ones. If I can’t leave this place, I doubt they can travel back and forth so easily,” he said with a shake of his head.
“What does all of this mean?” Cassius interjected, leaning forward in his chair.
“As a mortal, it seems my body isn’t strong enough to hold so much power—hence the headaches that began a while ago.”
“Could you not just return it to him?” Eris asked me.
“No. And if I don’t do something about it, I may not be here much longer.”
“What do you mean you won’t be here?” Dez instantly sat up straight, grabbing my hand. “There has to be something we can do.”
I squeezed his fingers as I returned a smile, trying to keep my words hopeful. “There is. If Tristan and I were to complete a soul bond, his light would be connected—whole—once more. And with the attachment to him, I should be fine!”
They don’t need to know the other potential outcome, I tried to convince myself.
“Tell the truth, Morrigan,” Kaiden boomed across the table. He stood, placing his palms onto the wood and leaned over, glaring daggers at me. “Tell them the real reason you want to do this.”
“Kaiden,” I whispered in warning.
“Tell them how your little fated lover is dying, and that this is the only way to save him—even if it means you could die in the process.”
The room broke out in instant outrage.
“Dying?!” Dez yelled, turning his entire body toward me. “No, princess. That can’t happen. Please, I just got you back, there has to be—”
“Great. So we traveled all the way here just for you to—”
“—such a selfish decision—”
“Everyone shut up!” I raised my voice above the rest of them as I slammed my hands down on the table. “This is no one else’s decision but my own. And my reasons are none of your business!”
“It is the business of those who are bonded to you,” Eris countered, his blue eyes darkening like a building storm.
I released a crude scoff. “Oh, right. The bonds you forced on me without my consent? My death would break them anyway, so you all have nothing to worry about.”
“I will break if you die, Morrigan!” Dez cried out, the rims of his eyes beginning to flush a deep shade of red. “Morrigan, when Cain took you, I—” his voice cracked with heavy emotion, and I lowered back into my chair. “I thought I was going mad. I can’t… I can’t lose you, Morrigan. I love you.”
Hearing those words from him warmed my heart in an almost painful way. The truth was I could die. It was a very small possibility, but a chance I would be taking, nonetheless. But if I didn’t do this, neither Tristan nor I would survive.
“If I don’t do this, I’ll die anyway, Dez. I have to do it. It will be fine,” I swore to him, though the potential lie in my words tasted bitter as they left my lips.
“Is he forcing you to do this, Morrigan?” Cassius asked nervously as he looked between me and Tristan.
“I have never forced her to do anything, little lord. With me, she has always had a choice,” Tristan sneered back at him.
“No one is forcing my hand. This is my decision. And after the soul bond is complete, we will bring Tristan back with us. He never belonged here. He’s been trapped, and it’s time for him to come home.”
A sense of unease seemed to trickle throughout the room.
Several beats of silence passed before Naaz spoke up. “This is going to change everything, Morrigan,” he whispered. “Are you sure you’re ready for that?”
“I think a change is exactly what Andonia needs. No more secrets. No more lies.” I lifted my head in confidence. “They deserve the truth.”
Kaiden stormed out of the dining hall, slamming the doors behind him with a loud bang that reverberated throughout the room, but everyone else remained in their seats.
They seemed to mull over the idea of it all, and while I could sense their trepidation, none of them appeared inherently against the idea.
“Princess,” Dez whispered beside me. “I don’t like this.”
I leaned toward him, bringing my lips close enough to brush against his. “I’ll be okay, Dez. I promise.” I kissed him gently, not caring who was in the room.
And as he returned it, I silently prayed to every star in the sky for that to be the truth.
We all needed a good night’s rest before the ritual, and I had a lot to think about.
Regardless of the outcome of the soul bond, this would be the last time I saw my mother.
I wanted her to find peace, and with the power that Tristan and I shared, we thought it might be possible to help her do just that.
I discussed it with Tristan first, then with my mother, and though she was hesitant, she reluctantly agreed, and I needed it done as soon as possible.
If things were to go wrong, I couldn’t let her see it. She’d never be able to move on from that. So, we decided to do it before the ritual
Tristan had given each of the guys their own room, and I took the time to feed Cass, Eris, and Naaz just enough to return their strength. If something did happen, I wanted them to be safe enough until they returned home.
When I finally made it back to my room, Kaiden waited for me at the edge of my bed. His eyes were on the floor, and his fingers gripped the end of the mattress so hard I thought the fabric would tear.
“I should have told you,” he whispered. “I can’t take that back.” When he looked up at me, all of the anger he had been wearing all day melted into a sadness I had never seen in his eyes before. “But you have to believe me, little dove. I meant what I said that day. I. Choose. You.”
“How can you be so sure of that?” I asked, staying in place, almost afraid to move. I was afraid that if I approached him, I would choose to ignore all of the alarms ringing in my head just to touch him again—to tell him the real reason the truth hurt me so badly.
When he stood from the bed, my heart fluttered rapidly in my chest. “I will always love Mara; I can’t help that.
She was the first person I truly opened myself up to, and she will always have a small piece of me because of that.
But, Morrigan…” He approached me until we stood only a few feet away.
“You brought me back to life. You gave me a reason to live again, and I don’t want to lose that.
You own every breath that I breathe, and are all I see when I close my eyes. I need you.”
“And what if I need more?” I didn’t expect my voice to sound so… small… so fragile. “Dez… Cassius—even if I want to strangle him sometimes. Even Eris and Naaz. We are all tied together for a reason. I can’t stop what I feel, and, eventually, I will forgive them for what they’ve done.”
“I can—” Kaiden sucked in a long breath, steadying himself. “I can accept that. I can learn to… share, in some capacity. It may take me longer with some of them, but Dez and I have come together since you’ve been gone. I can do it for you.”
“And Tristan?”
His lips pulled back in an almost sneer. “He’s my brother, Morrigan. You can’t expect me to—”
“I love you,” I blurted out. My words silenced him, and his lips parted as he gazed at me with wide eyes.
In just a few steps, he was mere inches from me, and I placed both of my hands on his chest to prevent him from closing the distance.
“But Tristan also has a piece of me. We’re two halves of the same soul. And I… I don’t want to give that up.”
His expression grew colder as he looked down at me. “And if that’s where I draw the line?”
A single tear slipped down my cheek, but I bit back the rest of them. “I’m sorry.”
Without another word, Kaiden moved around me and walked toward the door. He left in silence, and my entire body stiffened even as I felt everything inside of me beginning to crumble.
Tomorrow, I would complete the soul bond with Tristan. But in order to do that, I might have to lose everything in the process. A soul for a soul.
I just prayed that this was all worth it.