Chapter Eleven #2
“She doesn’t. Just ask her.” That was a low blow, and he knew it.
I tried to rip my wrist away, but he held tight. “Would ye just hold me hand, for the gods’ sake?”
“Sure, I’ll hold your hand, like you hold Ava’s,” I sneered. Now that we were alone, I couldn’t help the accusation from slipping out.
Danny scoffed. “Someone's gotta do it, since your hands are too occupied with your own cock to make her feel better.”
“That’s just like you, isn’t it?” I spat. “Now that we aren’t together, you intend to keep her company.”
Danny’s tone bit with irritation. “Say what you want about me, but you should know Ava better than that. What she and I have is purely platonic, and we're not interested in each other like that.”
“Yeah, sure. Ava’s the most beautiful girl alive.
Any man would trip over himself to be with her, and you’re looking to take your shot now that I’m out of the way.
You don’t even bother to hide your flirting; you do it right out in the open, and in front of me.
You have zero respect for our marriage.”
“Former marriage, mate, may I remind you, and I told ye it’s not like that. She needs comfort, and so do I, if ye haven’t noticed. If ye’d pay attention every once in a while, ye’d see I’m just as mentally fucked as she is. We support each other, because we’re too much alike.”
Danny paused, and I was certain he was grinning as he quipped, “Since Ava and I are so similar, you might consider asking me on a date. We already know crazy is your type. We’d have a wild time.”
“Fuck you.”
“And fuck you too, mate. If you got your shite together, you could get her back, but you're too busy acting like a big baby. Sorry that mommy’s no longer here to change your diapers, but it’s time to take the binky away and be a big boy.”
I nearly raised a fist to punch him in the face, thought better of it, then begrudgingly wrapped my arms around his shoulders, jumping onto his back. As long as they were just friends, I guess I shouldn’t care.
But I did. And I wish that I didn’t.
I was just as tall as Danny was, so it was more than awkward, though he didn’t struggle to carry my weight. “If you tell anyone about this, I’ll kill you,” I threatened. If a photograph of us got around the city, I’d be mortified.
“Aw. You better hold on tight, you cute little spider monkey,” Danny chortled.
“I fucking hate you,” I growled, but my words were shoved to the back of my throat as Danny jolted forward.
I had to cling to him as tightly as I could, because the effect was like riding a rollercoaster.
He rocketed toward our destination so fast it felt like I was riding in a car at top speed.
My stomach tumbled, and my body braced itself as I was jolted from left to right.
I might as well have been put inside a blender.
Once Danny came to a stop, I immediately let go. I staggered off, leaning over and trying not to gag. “Ugh. I can’t handle that again.”
I could hear the grin in his voice. “That’s a typical response after someone’s just got done riding me.”
“Keep implying things and digging yourself a bigger hole.”
“If it’s a bigger hole you want, boss, I can make it work.”
“Shut up.” I pushed the remnants of nausea down and rose up. “Is everyone here?”
“We’re fine,” Ava said as she used her tactical wheelchair to move through the sand. “Let’s open this shield.”
We gathered at the edge of the beach, close to the water.
Ava’s clothes rustled as she reached out to place her hand on the shield.
Seconds ticked by incredibly slowly, and though I expected to hear a shattering sound or some kind of tear, the only thing in the background was the sound of the waves.
“Nothing’s happening,” Marcus said quietly.
My heart dropped. Come on, pigeon. I pleaded with the gods for something to happen— anything— but it didn’t. The shield remained standing, and Ava’s hand slapped against her lap.
“I can’t do it.” Ava sounded close to tears. “It’s not going to work. Without my magic, there’s no way to open the portal up.”
I managed to choke words past the massive lump in my throat. “Try again. You have to—”
“I can’t, Charlie. It won’t respond to me.” Her voice shook. “I’m powerless now. I put the shield up, but I can’t take it down or even make a tear. Not without what I lost.”
I hated that I did this to her. I’d die a million times over just to have the chance to take it all back.
“Well, we can’t be standing here with our dicks out and our pockets full of six Divinity Keys, waiting for Charlie’s daddy to come and give us a spanking. We gotta get through somehow,” Danny insisted.
There was silence for a moment, until Ava said, “Charlie has to do it.”
“Me?” I startled backward.
“There has to be enough of me inside of you that the shield will respond to. Perhaps I left something of myself behind when the bond broke,” Ava pleaded.
“The two parts of our souls were connected, but it was still only one soul. The shield might resonate with your spirit, because it was once mine. You have to at least try.”
I agree with her, Oberi noted. There might be enough of Ava left inside of you that you can use to get through the shield. It’s the only chance we have.
I didn’t think there was. When our bond was broken, I figured any tie I had left to Ava had been completely destroyed. She’d been separated from me, permanently severed from my soul. I was certain the shield wouldn’t respond to anything I tried to do.
But we had no other options. I came close to the shield, feeling its infinite power. I reached out to brace my hand against it and met a strong surge of magical energy, one that would’ve blown me backward if I didn’t stand my ground.
Find Ava. Oberi was certain she was still inside of me, somewhere. That piece of her that lived within me might be gone, but maybe I’d still left some pieces behind. I dove deep, searching for a broken part of her that might still be left.
This was a struggle, and incredibly painful.
Everywhere I looked, there was only a void.
I’d completely ripped every part of her out of me and torn it to shreds with the breaking of our bond.
Places she’d flourished inside of my spirit were nothing but hollowed out shells, caverns of emptiness with no bottom, no light.
I had to go deeper. I reached down to the most submerged parts of my spirit, searching for Ava’s soul there and telling myself I wasn’t really alone… that what I’d done wasn’t the end of us.
Imagine my surprise when I found it.
It was the smallest spark. Only a little flame, an ember frailly burning.
But the smallest piece of Ava had been stronger than whole armies, and I only needed a little bit to get us through.
I nearly cried when I summoned the small bit of her spirit— it was so familiar, the most genuine and vulnerable part of her.
It was a piece of intimacy she’d entrusted to me that I had betrayed in the worst way.
I didn’t realize I’d felt it when we were making love, but the feeling was unmistakable.
This was what I’d been missing, but it had been there all along.
It had been Ava’s gift to me, her husband.
This piece represented her trust, her loyalty, her faith that I would always do right by her.
This was the part of Ava that had seen me as her knight in shining armor, her Prince Charming, the piece that had innocently assumed I would always come in to save the day no matter what monsters she had to face.
And I had destroyed it. Even if she had her soul, she wouldn’t be able to take this piece back even if she wanted to. Because she didn’t believe in it anymore. That innocence was gone. The only reason it still lived was because I couldn’t let it go.
“Did you get it?” Ava whispered. She couldn’t feel anything I was doing right now, when before, she would’ve been able to participate in this beautiful moment with me, feel everything I was feeling right alongside me.
Now she was on the outskirts. It was cruel, and it was wrong. I wished I could give this piece back to her… because that’s what she deserved. This wasn’t mine. I didn’t own this— she needed to take it.
But I couldn’t give it to her, because what was left of her soul was still tied to me. ‘
I couldn’t manage to speak, so instead, I acted. I cast the spell, creating a small hole in the shield. I felt the fabric of the boundary start to split, providing enough room for each of us to slip through one at a time.
“Charlie.” Ava’s voice was breathless. She hadn’t believed that a piece of her still lived within me, but it did. It was the strongest part of my soul that lived and breathed. It was the only thing I still fought for.
Told you that you aren’t done, Oberi uttered irritably. I was glad Ava couldn’t hear him.
I was on the edge of breaking down. I cleared my throat and managed to choke out, “We have a way through.”
I didn’t need a bond with Ava anymore to sense what she was feeling right then. Disbelief. Shock.
And hope. Genuine, soft-spoken hope that there was still a way forward for us. And this time, I wanted to feel it too, instead of trying to stomp it out.
Marcus and Kallie wouldn’t break the soft moment, but Danny sure would.
“Ye like Ava being inside you, eh, mate?” Danny said, elbowing me. “I took you for a top, not a bottom.”
“Your head’s going to be inside your ass if you keep talking.” His statement pissed me off, but honestly, I was glad for it. If he hadn’t annoyed me I’d have started crying, and we couldn’t have that now.
“There’s no time for you two to dick around! You can continue the pillow talk later,” Kallie snapped, ushering us through.