Chapter 3
Look What You Made Me Do – Taylor Swift
Cassidy
“Dinner was great, baby.” Nash kissed the top of Lily’s head. “You and Cassidy go and have your girl’s chat before Singing in The Rain, and we’ll clear the dishes.”
“Me too, Daddy?” Bertie asked, swinging her legs.
“Did you eat the dinner that your momma made?”
“Yep. And the broccoli and she knows I hate broccoli.”
Nash shrugged his broad shoulders. “Then yep, munchkin, you, too.”
“Me too, Daddy?” Wilder asked, pouting.
I liked the youngest Miller brother. He was funny and much more carefree than his brothers.
They all had this rhythm, teasing, laughing, cleaning up together like they’d rehearsed the dance a thousand times.
I was just a guest, watching from the wings, wondering if there’d ever be room on that stage for me.
Besides, he was far less obnoxious than Gunner that was for sure.
“You’re washing,” Nash told his youngest brother.
“We have a dishwasher,” Wilder complained.
“Yep and it’s called Wilder.” Gunner flicked his brother’s ear and pushed out of his seat. “Come on Bertie girl, you can help me to wipe, Dad will put it away.”
“You have them well trained, Lily.”
“I know.” She beamed at me and patted my hand.
“Get your glass, we'll go and have our chat.” As she passed Nash to get another bottle of wine from the refrigerator she patted his ass, gaining a tender smile and a wink for herself.
When I looked away I saw that Gunner was watching me.
A shiver rolled up my spine as his eyes met mine.
I told myself it was distaste, nothing more.
But there was no denying how the low lighting created shadows beneath his cheekbones, or how his jaw tensed when he caught me looking.
Gunner Miller had mastered the art of looking down his nose at people, especially me, with an aristocratic disdain that somehow made him even more infuriating.
“Gladly,” I told Lily and followed her out.
“We’ll go to the lounge. The boys will want to go into the den to watch football.”
The warmer weather still hadn’t arrived so there was a log fire roaring, adding to the coziness of the room.
I’d never been in there before Lily moved in, but it was clear that a lot of her had been added to the room.
Cushions, throws, beautiful black and white photographs of them all, it even smelled like Lily, cookies and lavender.
“Okay,” she said, throwing herself onto one of the sofas and pulling her legs up. “Spill the beans, chickie. Or don’t you want to tell me that you’ve finally realized that Gunner is for you?”
Sitting on the other sofa, I reached for a cushion and threw it at her. “Stop with the me and Gunner thing.”
“One bad date a million years ago doesn’t mean you have to hate each other forever.” She winked at me. “Didn’t you say it was going great, lots of sexual chemistry until he suggested you couldn’t understand country kids because you weren’t from Silver Peaks.”
Thinking about that still smarted. “He knew nothing about me. Still doesn’t. You haven’t told him have you?” Lily shook her head. “Because he made assumptions about me, and you know what assume means.”
“Yeah, I do.” She rolled her eyes. “Make an ass out of you and me. He’s a good guy, though, Cass. If you just gave him an opportunity.”
I shook my head. “Nope. Anyway, it’s not about him. It’s about Lucas Keller.”
Lily slumped. “Is his mom still not stepping up?”
“She didn’t seem to care about him fighting in my classroom today.”
“Bertie told me what happened?” Lily shook her head. “That’s not like Lucas. He’s been here a few times for parties and play dates. Always polite. Was a dream when I taught him.”
“Same, but to be honest, it was something and nothing that turned to fists. I got one to the ribs.”
“Cassidy!”
I waved her away. “It’s fine. It was accidental and I barely felt it, but I didn’t tell Mrs. Wright that part so we keep it between ourselves, okay?”
“Are you sure it was accidental?”
“Absolutely. They both burst into tears when they realized what had happened.” I couldn’t even feel the start of a bruise, so I wasn’t concerned. “But I do need to talk to you about the meeting I had with her.”
Lily reached for the bottle of wine she’d placed on the floor and filled her glass. She then held the bottle out to me. “Fill up.”
Once I’d filled my glass, I settled back and let out an exasperated sigh. “I know I don’t talk about my family much, but my mom fostered when I was a kid.”
“Wow, really? That’s an incredible thing to do.”
Thoughts of my mom filled my heart with love, the memories bringing a smile. “I know it was. She did it right up until she died.”
The familiar slice of grief cut through me remembering my mom, with her deep raucous laugh and no nonsense attitude.
“When she died, Social Services asked me to keep the kids we had until they could find somewhere else for them. I was only eighteen and was working the farm with just two part-time hands helping me out.”
“That’s a lot of responsibility, Cass.”
“It was. One I didn’t want, but,” I shrugged, “I ended up loving every minute of it.”
“How many kids were there?”
“Three. Meghan aged eleven, Savannah, who was eight and her little brother, Max who was six. It was hard work, difficult at times but so rewarding. Savannah loved Mom so it took her a while to let me in, but we got there, and I loved those kids so much by the end of the six months. We loved each other.”
Lily’s expression was full of sympathy for me, her eyes shining as she placed a hand over her heart. “That must have been awful, saying goodbye to them.”
“It was.” Coughing to clear the lump in my throat, I continued.
“But I knew it was the best thing for them. And now they’re all thriving.
Meghan is working as a wedding planner in LA, Savannah is starting college this year, studying finance while Max is doing well in high school.
” I smiled softly, a familiar sting to my eyes whenever I thought of the kids.
“I remember Max crying himself to sleep for the first two weeks after he and Savannah came to us. Mom used to sit outside his door, whispering fairy stories just so he wouldn’t feel alone.
After she passed I did the same, for as long as he needed.
Even though some nights all I wanted to do was cry, too.
When I did, it was quiet, so the kids wouldn’t hear.
I just needed to do it right for them. Be enough for them. ”
“Did they all get permanent families?” Her tone was hushed like she was waiting for bad news.
“Savannah and Max did but not Meghan. She stayed with a great foster family until she was eighteen and went to college. Savannah and Max were adopted by a lovely middle-aged couple who live on a ranch in Montana. They’ve had the best life they could have asked for.
Four older brothers in their late teens and early twenties who are even more protective than their parents. ”
“How come you’ve never told me any of this before?” Lily asked.
“I don’t know. It was ten years ago and they’re happy. I speak to them every birthday and Christmas and we all have a video call once a year for a catch up.”
“So, what happened with Mrs. Wright?”
“She wants me to agree to foster Lucas, Lily. If it’s necessary.”
“And you don’t want to?”
I shrugged. “It isn’t that I don’t want to, it’s just…”
“It hurt letting them go and you don’t want the same to happen with Lucas.”
There was a good reason why Lily Miller had become my best friend over the last couple of years. She understood me and knew exactly how my brain worked.
“That’s it exactly. What if it becomes clear his mom can’t take care of him, and I have him for a few months and then goes somewhere more permanent?”
“Do you think things are that bad at home for him?”
“I have no clue. I wouldn’t say it’s neglect exactly, maybe more apathy on her part. Maybe she’s just struggling.” The whole thing brought back memories of some of the poor kids that Mom took in. They were in a much worse condition than Lucas.
Lily dropped her feet to the floor and leaned forward, her hands cradling her glass of wine.
“One of the things I know about your past is that you left the farm to become a teacher, because you wanted to help kids. Right?” I nodded.
“And you taking Lucas in would be helping him. If that’s what is needed.
Because can you imagine how he’d feel being taken from his mom and sent to live with someone he doesn’t know? ”
Damn meddlesome woman.
“Ah fuck you, Lily.” I shook my head at letting myself be emotionally blackmailed by her. “I’m going to say yes, aren’t I?”
She smiled softly and nodded. “Of course you were.”