Chapter 48
Fight Song – Rachel Platten
Cassidy
Sheriff Jackson’s cruiser rolled down the driveway, away from the house, his hand out of the window tapping a rhythm on the door like he didn’t have a care in the world.
Like he didn’t have an arsonist to catch.
From the porch I watched as the brothers stared after him.
Three, tall, broad, uptight cowboys, stiff as boards.
“Do you think he had any idea who did it?” Lily asked, coming to stand beside me, Billy balanced on her hip. He was spinning the wheels of a plastic car, totally oblivious of the gravity of the situation.
“I’ve no idea,” I sighed, wrapping my arms around myself despite the warm morning. “But somebody deliberately killed Ariel and nearly killed Nash and Gunner too.”
The thought made my blood run cold all over again. I could have lost him that night. Lost everything before we’d even had a chance to truly begin.
“I can’t stand the idea of what might have happened,” Lily whispered. “If I’d have lost him…again.”
I linked my arm with hers and pulled her closer. She was my best friend but in the last few months we’d become more than that. Sisters almost with our mutual love of one of the Miller brothers.
Bertie appeared in the doorway behind us. “Momma is Daddy talking to the police about the bad person who hurt Ariel?”
Lily and I exchanged a glance. They’d tried to shield Bertie from the worst of it, but not only was she smart, there was a horse sized grave under a tree that she insisted on visiting almost every day.
“Yes, baby,” Lily answered carefully. “The sheriff is going to help find who did it.”
“When they do, can I kick them in the shin?” Her little face was serious and determined. “I mean Uncle Wilder said to kick him in the nu—”
“No!” Lily put a hand over her daughter’s mouth. “I think we’ll forget Uncle Wilder’s advice and let’s just leave it to Daddy and your uncles, okay, baby.”
Despite everything, I couldn’t help but smile. It was good to have some brightness amid the fear and sadness.
The men began walking back toward the house, and I could tell from Gunner’s stride that the meeting hadn’t yielded much. His jaw was set in that stubborn way that meant he was containing his frustration.
As they reached the porch, Nash lifted Bertie into his arms and dropped a kiss on Billy’s head and then one to Lily’s lips. He breathed them all in, his eyelashes shuttering closed for a beat. It had all taken its toll on him that was for sure.
“Hey sweetheart.” Gunner’s hand went to the small of my back, drawing me close. “You okay?”
Nodding, I stroked his face, searching his eyes. “Anything?” I asked.
“They’re looking at everyone who might have a grudge against us,” he said, keeping his voice low.
“That’s a damn long list,” Wilder muttered moving toward one of the rocking chairs.
“Language.” Bertie chimed, watching us all with keen interest.
“Hey, munchkin,” Nash said, setting her down. “Why don’t you go and see if Ruby needs help with lunch? I think she was making those cookies you like.”
“Adults are so boring,” she said with a heavy sigh. “I’m just glad cookies were the bribe.” She skipped away singing about blessing a beautiful hide, the front door slamming behind her.
As it did, Nash continued. “They’re looking into anyone connected with the development who might have wanted to send us a message.”
“The sheriff asked for the names of anyone we’ve had conflicts with,” Gunner added. “Which means they’ve got nothing solid.”
“I mean I gave them Dad’s name,” Wilder quipped from his perch on the rocker. “But he didn’t think it was a great lead.”
“Joking apart, it’s the kind of thing he’d do.” Nash moved to lean against the balustrade of the porch, reaching out for his son. “He did poison the creek for his own ends, so it’s not a stretch to think he’d set the stables on fire.”
“Is there any footage at all, you know from security cameras of nearby properties?” Lily asked. “Or traffic cameras?”
“Nothing,” Gunner’s frustration was palpable. “The closest camera is at the main road, too far to catch anything useful.” He took my hand and pulled me to another of the chairs, sitting and then patting his lap for me to sit in.
“The new security system is being fitted tomorrow,” Wilder said. “I know it doesn’t find who did it, but it’s something.”
When Nash’s phone started to ring, Lily took Billy from him so he could get it from his pocket.
He pressed the screen. “Yep…fantastic…I’ll tell him but I’m sure it’s okay…
yeah, okay, thanks for that.” When he pushed his phone back into his pocket he turned to Gunner.
“That was Markus. He says they’re ready to pour the first concrete for the foundations.
He’s going to wait until tomorrow to let the ground settle. You okay with that?”
“Sure, no problem,” Gunner replied, snaking his arm around my waist.
“He also asked if, while the excavator is here, you want to start on the foundations for the camp building?”
The boys had decided that instead of using the existing barn a new building would be built for the kids camp. They’d employed an architect who had come up with a design that made it look as rustic as possible while being as safe as possible.
“Damn right I do,” Gunner said firmly. “I’m not letting whoever did this think they’ve won anything.”
“The hands still on rotation watching the place?” Nash asked.
Wilder nodded. “Twenty-four seven. Nobody’s getting near them.”
“Good.” Gunner’s hand found mine, squeezing it tight. “I need to check on Dream Maker before lunch. Tally said he’s been even more skittish since the fire.”
“I’ll come with you,” I offered.
“I’ll keep your lunch warm if you’re not back,” Lily added.
Gunner patted my leg, urging me up. “We’ll be back in time and don’t worry guys, we’ve got this.”
As we walked away from the house toward the temporary paddock, I could feel the tension radiating from him. “Do you think it’s connected to the development?” I asked quietly.
He shook his head. “Who knows, sweetheart. They had to know starting it in the hay would be most effective, but they also had to know that just the other side of the dividing wall were horses.”
“But who would do that? Knowing that the horses would probably be killed?”
“And that’s what keeps me up at night,” he admitted. “It had to be someone who either knows the layout and doesn’t give a shit about the horses, or someone who doesn’t know the layout so had no idea.”
“It wasn’t hard to see that there were stables attached to it, though. Even someone who’d never been here before must have known that. They’d have heard the horses, surely.” A chill ran down my spine at the idea that they did what they did knowing there were living creatures there.
“Yeah, sweetheart, it’s evil, right.” He blew out his cheeks, disbelief in his eyes. “I’m finding it hard to understand this damn world more and more.”
With the warm smell of hay and hints of the sun in the air we walked to the paddock, and I was surprised to see Dream Maker had been separated from the other horses.
“Why is he in here alone?” I asked as Gunner picked two apples from a bucket on our side of the fence.
“Tally did it this morning. She said he’s getting spooked at sudden movements and sounds.
The changes we’ve had to make seem to have affected him more than the actual fire.
” He sounded almost defeated, but I knew it would be momentary because he was a strong, stubborn man.
“It feels like we’re back to square one with him rebuilding the trust we’d established. ”
As we slowly approached, Gunner bounced the apple from his forearm and into his hand a couple of times before holding it out to Dream Maker.
“Hey, Dreamy, there’s my good boy,” he murmured, his voice gentler than I’d heard it all day. “You’re doing so great. That’s it. You’re such a brave boy.
Watching him with Dream Maker, the tenderness in his touch, the patience in his eyes, revealed everything his swagger tried to hide.
He was a good man who just wanted to love and be loved.
A man who was gentle, kind, and compassionate.
A man who made me realize that our future was all about second chances and starting over.
Despite everything we were all learning to trust again, to rebuild what had been lost.
Dream Maker nuzzled Gunner’s palm for more treats, and for the first time in days I saw a genuine smile. It didn’t reach his eyes completely, but it was a start.
“I was thinking,” I said cautiously, “about the camp.”
Gunner looked over at me, his expression guarded. “What about it?”
“What if we don’t wait for the stables to be finished? What if we start smaller, with just a few kids? Lucas and maybe two or three others?”
He leaned his hip against the fence, letting Dream Maker nuzzle his nose. “We don’t have the facilities yet though, sweetheart.”
“We could use the old hay barn for now,” I suggested. “I know you didn’t want to use it for safety reasons, but short-term it might be a good place to start testing our program. Work out any kinks before we go bigger.”
Gunner was quiet for a moment, his hand stroking Dream Maker’s nose in a rhythmical way that seemed to calm them both.
“We’d need to adapt our plans,” he said finally. “Safety would be our priority so no overnight stays for now.” He breathed in, straightening his spine. “Non-negotiable.”
“Of course,” I agreed. “But maybe this is exactly what we all need right now, something positive to focus on.”
Dream Maker nudged Gunner’s shoulder as if offering his own endorsement of the plan.
“Can I think about it?” Gunner asked, but I could see his mind was already working through the possibilities. “It would be good to have something to look forward to, though.”
We stood in silence for a moment. The three of us, Gunner, me and a horse who’d been through his own trauma and was still finding his way forward.
“Whatever happens,” I said, slipping my around his waist, “whoever did this, well, we’ll get through it together.”
He turned to me and the intensity in his eyes took my breath away. “You know what’s strange? As terrible as this has been, I’ve never felt more certain about what matters.” He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, his focused gaze finally dropping to my lips. “About you. About us.”
“Is that your way of telling me again that you love me?” I teased gently.
“Haven’t I told you about five times a day, every day since the first time?” He narrowed his eyes and gave me a playful smirk. “Need me to punctuate it with my dick each time, because I can if you want me to.”
“You are so bad, but I do like your thinking.” The kiss I gave him was quick because anything longer would make me desperate for more, and we had lunch to eat. “Maybe try that later. ‘I love you sweetheart, here’s my dick’.”
I thought that my impression of him was pretty good, but Gunner clearly found it amusing. His loud bark of a belly laugh made Dream Maker pull his head up startled.
“Shit, sorry Dreamy.” Gunner whispered against his neck. “It’s okay buddy.”
I handed Gunner my apple and let him give it to the horse. He clearly trusted him and if anyone could turn this horse around then my cowboy could.
“That was a terrible impression of me by the way,” he said, watching Dream Maker stroll away. “But to answer your question, being certain about us means I’m never letting you go.” His voice was rough with emotion. “Fire, arson, whatever else comes our way, none of it changes that.”
As his lips met mine, I felt that familiar warmth spread through me.
Beyond us, the foundation for the new stables was taking shape, tomorrow the concrete would begin being poured and it all felt like a fitting metaphor for what we were building together.
Something solid and lasting, meant to endure whatever storms might come.
As for whoever had tried to destroy what Gunner loved? They would learn what I already knew; you don’t mess with a Miller and walk away unscathed.
“There is one thing that all this has changed,” he said as he took my hand.
“What’s that?”
“I think maybe it’s changed me.” He was quiet for a moment, the gravel crunching under foot as he started to walk us away from the paddock. “I thought about what it would have been like had you been in danger. It made me realize something.”
I tilted my head to look at him. “What?”
“That I don’t want to waste time being careful. Being scared.” His fingers found mine in the darkness. “The camp, us, this life we’re talking about building, I want it all. Even if it’s risky. Especially if it’s risky.”
“Even if there’s a great hulking development next to it.”
He laughed softly. “Especially then because,” there was steel in his voice, “because whatever we build, whatever life we create together, will be bigger and stronger than whatever they can throw at us.”
I was quiet for a moment, processing. “When you say life we create together?” My heart hammered against my ribs. “What would it look like?”
He turned to face me fully. “It would be a life with no holding back. To go all in with me, even knowing it might get messy.”
“And what would ‘all in’ look like?” My mouth felt like sandpaper, as tentative thoughts whirled around my heart.
“Taking risks and lasting instead of protecting ourselves against the possibility that it might not be.”
I thought about all the ways I’d held pieces of myself back in the past. All the safeguards I’d built without realizing it. The way I never gave myself fully.
“I’ve always been too scared,” I admitted. “In the past.”
“Me too,” he said simply. “But I’m more scared of missing out on this because we're too afraid to try.”
I leaned against him, breathing in his familiar scent. “What if we mess it up?”
“Then we’ll figure it out. Together.” His lips pressed against the top of my head. “What do you say, sweetheart? Ready to trust us?”
I thought about the fire, about how quickly everything could change. About how precious this was between us. How he made it more valuable.
“Yeah,” I whispered. “I’m more than ready for us.”