Chapter 25 Aliénor
ALIéNOR
I hadn’t heard from Luca in a couple days, and I was already so clingy as it was that I didn’t want to text him first. He didn’t seem to mind my affection, but if I pushed it to his limit, it might scare him off.
Dominic asked me to go to lunch, so I took a long break from the office and met him at BO&MIE, my favorite boulangerie that was a short walk from Diamant.
We met in the long line that wrapped around the corner of the building, and when we got to the front, we both ordered more than either of us could eat.
We carried our trays upstairs and found a table by the window.
Dominic was in jeans and a t-shirt that showed off his nice arms. With chestnut-colored hair and light eyes, he was a good-looking guy. And he was tall, over six feet in height. He got lots of tips at Septime. “So, how’s the new job, Fashion Merchandiser?”
“It’s good. Already working on our summer releases. Our designers work two seasons ahead of time, so we have time to prepare but also cancel anything that probably won’t work. It was chaotic in the beginning, but I think I’m getting the hang of it.”
He had a bowl of baked rigatoni and a sandwich with a croissant, but unlike Luca, he didn’t devour his food like a hungry bear. He took his time and was more engaged in the conversation than he was in food. “So, how did you land such a big-girl job with absolutely no experience in fashion?”
“You know how it goes…all about who you know.”
“Okay, but who do you know?”
“Well, not me. But I know someone who knows someone.”
“Who?” he asked. “Why didn’t you just do that in the first place?”
Dominic and I hadn’t talked a lot, and it wasn’t really something I wanted to share over text, so I told him the truth. “Well, I’ve been seeing this guy, and he made all of this happen.”
“Whoa…”
“Yeah.”
“Who is this guy?” he asked. “And why am I just hearing about him now?”
“Well, it’s been a bit of a rush. Started at a dead stop, and then we were speeding down the Autobahn.”
“That sounds like fun.”
“Oh, it is fun.” Really fucking fun. “His name is Luca.”
“Oooh, I like it. Got any pictures?”
“I’ve taken a couple when he wasn’t looking.” I opened my phone and found one of him on the couch, shirtless in his sweatpants, typing on his phone.
Dominic’s eyes snapped open, and he did a double take. “Are you fucking with me right now?”
“Nope.”
“This is him?” He held up the phone to me as if I’d shown him the wrong photo.
“It is.”
“Mother of God…” He handed me back the phone. “Where on earth did you find him?”
“Bumped into him on the street.” Kinda. Then he asked me to fuck him for a place to stay…which was fine by me.
“That has never once happened to me. What street was it?”
I chuckled. “Down the street from the restaurant, actually. I walked home after work one night and bumped into him on the curb. That was about a month ago.”
“So, it’s still early days, but not that early.”
“Yeah.”
“And he must be into you if he stuck his neck out for you.”
“Yeah, I think he is.” He seemed distant at times because that was his personality, but he never made me feel insecure about where we stood. I never made assumptions about us being in any kind of relationship, but he was the one who set the parameters. He was the one who wanted monogamy.
“And are you into him?”
“What do you think?” I asked with a chuckle.
He chuckled too. “What’s he do for a living?”
“Um…” I took a bite of my sandwich to stall. “Works in government.”
“He does?”
“Something with the Senate.”
“As in…he’s a senator.”
“I think so.”
“How do you not know?”
“You think we talk about work when we’re together?” I challenged.
He chuckled. “Touché. Is he good in bed?”
“Oh, like you wouldn’t believe.”
“Hung?”
I gave a slow nod.
“Ugh, I’m so jealous. Why are all the gods straight? Does he have a brother?”
“No.”
“Shame…”
“Yeah.”
We focused on our food again because we’d abandoned it so far.
“I’m mostly happy for you. Just a little bit jealous.” He squeezed his forefinger and thumb together. “Just a teeny, tiny bit.”
“What about you? Is Charles still around?”
“Nah, we’re done.”
“You said that last time…and the time before that.”
“But we’re really done this time,” he said as he held up his hand. “I don’t need any more of that toxic bullshit in my life. I just want a good man who doesn’t stick his dick in other people. Is that so fucking hard?”
I shook my head. “It shouldn’t be.”
“You want to go out with me to Duplex tonight?” he asked. “Help me find someone who can somewhat hold a candle to your man?”
“Sure.” I was so used to keeping a low profile that I’d forgotten I could go out again. That I could do anything I wanted. That I didn’t have to tuck my head back in my shell. “I’ll be your wing bitch.”
“Wing bitch…” He chuckled before he took another bite of his sandwich.
He was muscular like Luca, but not nearly as ripped.
Still strong and handsome, someone who should not have a hard time finding someone.
“So, how serious is this relationship? Like, it’s a monogamous long-term fling, or are their wedding bells somewhere in the future? Love bombing?”
“Um…” I didn’t know how to answer that question.
“I really don’t know. It’s so early, and I’m not in a rush to find out where it’s going.
Do I expect us to end up together? No. But I never expect any kind of future with anyone.
” Because my family was supposed to be my future, and they were brutally murdered.
I’d gotten used to being on my own, so I didn’t need to have someone.
“I’m fine seeing where it goes. I gotta imagine he’ll get tired of me at some point, and it’ll fizzle out. ”
“Why do you think that?”
“I showed you his picture, didn’t I?” I said with a laugh. “That man could have anyone he wants.”
“You forget how beautiful you are, Aliénor.”
“Aww, you’re sweet.”
“If I were into girls, I’d be doing everything to get into you.”
I was about to take a bite of my croissant when I burst into a laugh. “Oh wow.”
“So, don’t sell yourself short.”
“I’m not. I just have realistic expectations.”
“Well, how do you feel about him?” he asked. “For you to be this detached.”
“I’m not detached.”
“You assume it’s going to end, when this man got you a job.”
“I don’t assume. But I don’t assume it’s going to be more than what it is right now.
And that’s fine with me. The present is a beautiful thing.
I live in it every day.” Because all I had was the past and the crippling fear of being murdered every moment of my life.
This peaceful existence was something I would cherish every day—and the man who gave it to me.
Even if Luca dropped me for someone else, I would always have love for him in my heart.
“But do you want more than what it is right now?”
I shrugged.
“Aliénor, you can be honest with me. It’s not like I’m going to run off and tell him. If I ever came face-to-face with that guy, I wouldn’t be able to speak, not in the presence of a god.”
I chuckled. “Honestly?”
“Always honestly.”
“I really like him…obviously.”
“I’d judge you if you didn’t.”
“And I can see myself falling headfirst into his midnight-black eyes and staying there forever.”
“Damn, poetic.”
“But I won’t let myself get there. Not unless he gives me a reason to.”
After I got off work, he texted me. Dinner tonight?
My heart leaped in joy—and then crashed back to earth. I can’t tonight. Tomorrow?
His three dots didn’t appear.
I stared at the screen until it turned black.
I walked the rest of the way home from Diamant, grabbed a couple of items from the store on my way, and then entered my empty apartment. I flicked on the lights and kicked off my heels because they killed me after all the walking I did around the city.
I’d set down my bag on the dining table when Luca texted me again. What are your plans tonight?
I hadn’t expected him to ask me that. Now I wondered if the reason there was such a pause between messages was because he considered what I said and how to respond. Going out with a friend.
There was another long pause.
Something was weird about this conversation. He wasn’t being himself, and I didn’t know why.
He eventually texted back. I’ll see you tomorrow.
I let the conversation drop, did some laundry, and tidied up in the apartment. I checked my mail and paid some bills then unloaded my dishwasher.
My phone vibrated with another text. Come over after.
I smirked at his message, realizing he actually missed me. Sure. But it might be kinda late.
Then I’ll come to your place.
That works for me.