Chapter 12 sixpacks and fruit snacks #2
I wondered if he even remembered that I hadn’t turned sixteen when he did.
He just assumed I was always on the same page, like I was an extension of him.
He couldn’t fathom that I might not want to kiss someone else, and I definitely didn’t want him kissing someone else.
That I might take things more seriously, feel more deeply, than he did.
Devlin was selfishly, arrogantly oblivious in the way that only a sixteen-year-old rich boy who was already universally adored could be.
In that moment, I realized he might resent me for holding him back. We were both virgins, and even though I thought it was the most romantic thing in the world to give myself to the man I’d marry, the only man I’d ever be with in that way, I wondered.
Did he think it was romantic? Or limiting?
“Fine,” I said, grabbing a beer and twisting the cap. It didn’t open. I glared at Devlin, wanting to be as cool as him when all our friends were giving each other knowing looks. I just wasn’t good at faking things, especially not in front of the people who knew me best.
Preston took the beer from me, opened it against the edge of the trunk that lined one wall, and handed it to me.
I took a big gulp, even though I hated beer.
Preston gave my knee a quick squeeze, and my heart filled with warmth for him.
One simple gesture reassured me that even though weren’t close anymore, he understood me. He was there for me when it mattered.
Like right now, when my boyfriend was being such a colossally insensitive dick that he couldn’t even see that’s what he was doing.
“So, how do we pick?” Carmen asked. “There are four girls and only three boys.”
“I guess one of us will get extra lucky,” Colt said, tossing his hair out of his eyes and reaching for a beer.
“There’s not even a closet here,” I pointed out.
“We’ll use the chest,” Destiny said, pointing to our backrest.
“That’s too small for two people,” I protested.
Lacey sighed and rolled her eyes. “Then don’t play,” she said impatiently. “That’ll even things out—three guys and three girls. Who goes first?”
“I’ll play,” I said quickly. I might have been willing to see the good in everyone, but I wasn’t about to sit back and watch my friend make a move on my boyfriend.
I didn’t think he was the cheating type, but in this game, anything could happen.
Anything was permitted. It was a loophole, and I couldn’t shake the feeling that Devlin was eager to explore that option, to experience other girls in whatever capacity he could without actually cheating.
Meanwhile, all I wanted was to draw Devlin’s name and go make out with him for seven minutes.
The usual frustration edging on desperation clawed up inside me as we drank for a minute and sized up the options we might end up with.
I wanted to get Devlin, but the fact that he was considering the other girls made me want to die.
I didn’t know how to lock him down, to make myself the center of his world the way he was mine.
It killed me a little bit every day that I couldn’t make him love me the way I loved him.
I could only hope that once we’d given ourselves to each other completely, he’d be as committed as I was.
“Who picks first?” I asked.
“We’ll spin the bottle,” Destiny said. “Whoever finishes their beer first can spin first. And I’m just going to put this out there. I’m feeling it tonight, so whoever ends up with me…”
She wiggled her eyebrows and grinned, and everyone laughed, some more nervously than others. As I looked around, I realized everyone in the room was a virgin except Carmen, who’d gotten played by Wade Montgomery, a popular senior guy who never spoke to her again.
I scooted closer to Devlin. I was pretty sure he wouldn’t give his virginity to someone in a game, especially since we’d already decided to lose it to each other the day I turned sixteen.
And Destiny would never do that to me, either.
Still… I didn’t want to think about my boyfriend and my best friend doing anything else in that box, either.
And I wasn’t entirely sure about Lacey. We were friends this year, but we’d never been in school together before Willow Heights.
“I’m going to line it with a sleeping bag,” Colt said, getting up to open the chest, looking for a section that was empty enough to use. “If I get a red one, it’ll look like a vampire coffin. Perfect for Halloween week.”
The chest was actually built into the treehouse, stretching along one wall.
It had several compartments and usually served as a bench or backrest, though it was full of supplies, too.
There were sleeping bags and pillows for when people had sleepovers up here, lanterns and flashlights, a few books of ghost stories, and stashes of candy.
Then there were the less savory things stashed in secret compartments—old Playboy magazines that boys snuck up here to look at before they got their first phones; stashes of cigarettes, pot, and drug paraphernalia; and of course, condoms.
“Oh, look,” Colt called. “Sleeping bags and gummies.” He tossed out three boxes of fruit snacks, and the others started opening them and chewing on the gummy candy as we drank, trying to ignore the current of tension in the air at what we were about to do.
The chest was big enough for two kids to fit in during hide and seek, but it would be a tight squeeze for two full-sized teenagers.
Either someone would have to lie on top of the other, or we’d be squeezed together with no space to move.
It forced a level of intimacy I definitely didn’t want with anyone but my boyfriend.
He may have been open to exploring with other people, but I was not.
“Done,” Devlin said, setting his bottle down with a thud. Everyone stopped talking, and the crackle of excitement amped up. In my case, the feeling was nothing but dread.
Colt slapped Devlin’s shoulder and sat back down in the circle, folding his legs with that easy, Darling grace. I would have looked like an elephant trying to kneel, but their whole family moved through life like it was a ballet written just for them.
“Well, spin already,” Destiny said, clapping her hands and letting out a gleeful little giggle.
I wondered if she was hoping it landed on her.
Every girl in school knew that Devlin was the best guy.
He was the hottest Darling, already the king of the football field as a sophomore, and even though his parents had been a bit of a town scandal at one point, it had been long enough that no one was talking about them anymore.
Plus, he was nice for a high school boy, respectful and loyal, and didn’t treat girls the way football players like Wade and CJ Rose did.
I couldn’t blame any of my friends for crushing on my guy. I’d have done the same in their shoes.
Devlin wiped his hand on his jeans, leaned forward, and tipped the bottle on its side. Then he gave it a good spin.
I stared at it with laser focus, not daring to blink, as if I could control where it landed if I never took my eyes off it. It spun around and around, finally slowing as it crept toward me. I didn’t dare to even breathe. I didn’t want the tiniest bit of air to push it past me.
It continued to creep around, finally coming to a stop just past me.
It was pointing straight at Devlin.
“I don’t know how I feel about lying in a coffin by myself,” he said with a grin, picking up a packet of fruit snacks and opening it with his teeth.
Everyone laughed, and the tension that had gripped us through the first turn eased.
“Guess you could jerk off,” Colt said, leaning back on one hand and tipping his beer up to his lips.
“No, spin again,” Destiny said.
“I’m done, too,” Lacey said, draining the bottle as we watched. She lowered it and grinned. “I’ll go.”
Her bottle landed on Destiny.
“Ooh, hot,” Colt said. “I’d be up for watching y’all making out.”
Destiny shook her head. “You’re such a little creep.”
“What?” he protested, laughing. “Every guy wants to see hot girls kissing.”
“That’s gross and objectifying,” she said. “Grow up.”
“Something’s growing right now,” he said, leaning over and nudging her shoulder with his. “Want to feel?”
“Ew,” Lacey said. “Have you even gone through puberty yet?”
“I’ll show you if the bottle lands on you,” he said, finishing the last of his beer and leaning forward to spin his bottle. It came to a stop pointing at Destiny.
“I guess you’re the one getting all the action tonight,” I said, trying to lighten up and join the fun.
“You don’t have to go in with him,” Lacey said, grabbing Destiny’s hand.
“Yeah,” Carmen said. “He’s still a kid.”
“He’s only a few months younger than Destiny,” I said, catching the brief, wounded expression on Colt’s face.
He was a Darling, one of the town’s beloved sons, but I knew it must suck to be the youngest. Half the time, we’d made him play that he was our kid when we were younger.
Now that the rest of us were in high school, he was left behind, still in junior high with Preston’s sister.
While Lindsey had drifted away from the group and made her own friends, who were currently making Halloween crafts with her mom, Colt still liked hanging out with us.
That made him the baby of the group, the lone member not yet at Willow Heights.
Lacey snorted. “Then you go in with him, Dolly.”
“No, fair’s fair,” Destiny said, holding up a hand. “It’s my game, these are the rules.”
She turned to Colt and grinned. “Come on, little boy. Mama’s about to teach you something you’ll never forget.”