Chapter 31 #2
“What about it, Preston?” she asks. Her dish clatters into the sink and she spins back toward me. “I was devastated from a breakup and you made me feel good, just like you said you would. Not to mention I was sleeping when you started.”
“What about after that day? We could have been together. I was fucking there for you, Dolly. I waited years for you, and that was our chance. We could have had something. But you swore me to secrecy because you were so ashamed of being with me. I don’t get it.
I wasn’t fucking deformed then, so what was it? ”
We stare at each other a minute, and I know I’ve said too much.
I know she won’t answer. She doesn’t have to.
I know the truth. The truth is, I was always a monster, even when I didn’t look like it.
That’s why she never loved me, why no one has.
Even if they can’t see it, some instinct tells them that I’m the sort of man who doesn’t require love.
He’ll take what he wants with or without it.
And they’re right. That’s my birthright. She doesn’t need to tell me all that. I already know.
“I told you not to wait for me,” she says at last. “I never lied to you or led you on. Just like I told you when I came home for the holidays that I wasn’t going to stay, even when I knew that meant you wouldn’t want to see me.
Telling the truth hurt me, Preston, but I never lied to you. You’re the one who lied.”
“I get it,” I say, slicing viciously into one of the crepes on my plate. “You want to be with someone equal to you. That’s what you deserve. Not a hideous beast.”
“This isn’t about looks.”
“You’re right,” I say. “It’s about you running away. I don’t run, Doll.”
“No,” she says. “You stalk.”
“I’m not walking away and leaving here without you. I’m done letting you go. I can’t do it anymore.”
“You have to,” she says, giving me a pained look. “This isn’t healthy, Preston.”
“I don’t care.”
“Well, I do,” she says. “If you won’t take care of yourself, I will.
That means telling you the truth, even when it hurts.
It hurts me, too, and it hurts to hear you say those things about yourself.
I don’t think I deserve better. But I do deserve happiness and peace, the same as you, the same as anyone. ”
“Then let me give it to you,” I say. “Give me a chance, Dolly.”
“You know this can never happen,” she says.
“One drunken hookup doesn’t change that.
I’ll admit it—you didn’t take advantage of me last night.
I wanted it. Maybe you’re right, it let me lower my inhibitions.
But there’s a reason those inhibitions are there, Preston.
Without them, I let myself convince my better judgement it was a good idea.
Now, it’s just one more thing to regret. ”
She swallows and looks away, and I think she’s about to cry.
“I’ll never regret a single moment with you,” I say, setting my coffee down.
“There’s too much history,” she says, turning to the sink and busying herself with her plate. “It’s too messed up.”
“It’s not,” I say, slipping off the barstool and going to her. “I can fix it.”
She stiffens when I slide my arms around her. “You can’t fix this, Preston. It was broken to begin with.”
“You’re not broken,” I whisper against the back of her neck, letting my lips linger on her clean skin. “You’re perfect.”
She takes a breath and pauses before answering. “It was never the right time, where we were both on the same page, and now it never will be. We took our shot last night, and look how it turned out.”
“It was the best night of my life,” I say, moving my hands up, cupping her spectacular tits. My cock throbs, and I squeeze gently, making her suck in a breath. “I can remind you how good it was. How well we fit together.”
She lays her head back against my shoulder, and I massage her tits, getting harder as she sighs and shudders against me. I feel her nipples hardening, too, and I pinch one through her clothes, drawing a soft moan from her throat.
“Coming inside you is the closest thing a devil like me will ever get to heaven,” I murmur in her ear. “Let me take you there, too.”
“No,” she says, twisting away and pushing me back. Her cheeks are flushed when she turns to me, but her eyes are fierce. “We can’t live in the past. Maybe this was a good thing after all. If it hadn’t happened, I’d always wonder. But now I know.”
“You know how good we are together,” I say, taking her hand. “Better than you’ll ever be with anyone else.”
“I know it doesn’t work between us,” she corrects me, pulling her hand away.
“It breaks my heart too, Preston, but I go on with my life because that’s what people do.
We grow up and move on. You need to do the same.
You and me… It was a lovely teenage dream, but that’s all it’ll ever be.
The one that got away. Our big What If? What if things had been different, if our parents had chosen you instead of Devlin, if he hadn’t disappeared, if we’d taken our shot before it was too late.
But none of that happened. It’s just something to wonder about when we’re feeling nostalgic. ”
“I don’t accept that,” I say. “There’s still a big what if. And I’m going to fight for it, Dolly. For us.”
“There is no us,” she says, her lip trembling.
“Stop fighting for nothing. You can’t go back in time, choose the road not taken.
Maybe in another lifetime, we would have been together, but that’s not what happened.
This is what happened. You took something from me because you wanted it, and I can never get it back.
I’ve forgiven you, but I can never trust you again, and that means we’ll never be together. ”
“I don’t agree to that.”
She sighs and pulls the damp towel from her hair, hanging it over the back of a chair.
“Look, I love the sweet fantasy as much as you do, Preston, but this is reality. This is my life. It’s what I want.
To make music, maybe get a part in a movie or show.
I don’t want complications and never-ending heartbreak that finally ends in devastation.
Maybe you haven’t been there, but I have.
I’ve done that, and I can’t do it again.
And that’s what we would be, in the end. ”
“I don’t care,” I say. “I want it all. Break my heart every fucking day of my life, Dolly. If I’m obliterated in the end, it’ll be worth it if I’m with you when that end comes.”
“But we won’t be together in the end,” she whispers. “That’s what I’m trying to tell you.”
No matter how much she hurts me, I’ll endure it. I already knew she’s too stubborn to come without a fight. I let her sharp words cut me away last time, but I won’t do it again. This time, I’ll show her that I’m not giving up on her, no matter what she says or does.
“And I’m telling you that you’re wrong,” I say, and I step forward and kiss her.
She doesn’t respond at first, but when I slide a hand into her hair, pulling her head closer, she parts her plump lips for me.
I slide my tongue inside, stroking hers, relishing the way her soft body shivers and sways into mine.
Slowly, I slide the zipper down on the front of her hoodie.
When she doesn’t protest, I slip my hand inside, moving it under the edge of her little t-shirt.
I grip the crease of her waist, pulling her against me.
She wraps her arms around me, and I push her shirt up, pulling her bra off her shoulders and folding the cups down.
Her tits sink into my hands, full and heavy, and my cock strains painfully hard against my pants.
I can’t stop touching her tits, the glorious size of them, the silky softness of her nipples that harden for my touch.
I dreamed about these tits for ten years, only touching them a few times in the decade I’ve been lusting after them. I’m going to make up for that.
I push her back against the counter, nudging her chin up as I follow the column of her neck, kissing and biting her skin.
The bruises my mouth left last night line the side of her throat, and each of her nipples is ringed with faint teeth marks.
The sight of them has a drop of precum leaking from my tip already.
I moan against her skin, ducking down and taking her nipple into my mouth, sucking until she whimpers.
Releasing her tit, I get a glass of water from the sink behind her and rinse my mouth so I won’t pollute the taste of her.
Then I go down on my knees in front of her and worship her like the goddess she is.
I lower her pants and underwear at once, lift her thick thighs onto my shoulders, and bury my teeth in her plump, wet cunt.
She shrieks, and I release my grip and slide my tongue along her swollen slit, running my hands around her hips and gripping her ass as I yank her forward, burrowing my face between her thighs.
“Oh god,” she whimpers, her pelvis rocking against my face, begging for more.
I can taste blood, but I don’t hold back or go slow this time.
I spread her open and devour her, sucking and licking and working my tongue around her clit while I sink two fingers into her from below, fucking her hard with them.
I suck her folds into my mouth, run my tongue along the shell-pink inside of each of her lips.
She’s so wet I have to swallow to keep from choking on her arousal.
The taste of her has my cock so hard it hurts, and the clench of her hot, slick walls around my fingers makes my head spin.
I stroke her G-spot, and she whimpers, her hips jerking involuntarily.
Precum squeezes from my tip in answer to each pulse of her messy cunt as I fuck it hard with my fingers, taking what’s mine.