The Next Twenty Days #3
“I’m sorry about Preston,” I say the moment we reach them.
Guilt twists inside me as I wait for Colt to reprimand me like Devlin’s words and Harper’s stare did.
This isn’t me needing his approval. It’s me being genuinely remorseful and wanting him to know that I care about Preston and all the Darlings.
I owe them an apology, even if I never get their approval.
I can’t control that any more than I can stop time from moving and changes from happening.
“Not your fault,” Colt says, holding out his arms. He pulls me into a tight, long embrace.
A quiet, somber understanding seems to pass between us, and I know he’s thinking about her, too.
Memories of Destiny may always swim into my mind when I see Colt, but they’re faded now, not as urgent and bracing as they used to be.
I’ll always miss her, but I can’t live for her anymore.
“Try telling the rest of the town that,” I mutter into his shoulder.
“I think that’s long enough,” Dixie says, tugging on Colt’s elbow. “Let someone else say hi.”
Colt releases me and turns to pinch Dixie’s side. “Don’t worry, babe, your tits are just as fun to hug.”
“Shut up,” Dixie squeals, slapping his arm and giggling.
“I didn’t know this was a date thing,” Crystal says. “Should I have brought Devlin?”
“Nah, Dixie just doesn’t like to let me out of her sight,” Colt says. His tone is light, but I’m sure I detect an edge of truth under there.
“When Preston gets out, we can all come out together,” I say, smiling to ease the moment of tension.
Crystal and Dixie exchange a sympathetic look, like they don’t think he’s going to make it.
Colt flashes a grin. “That’s right,” he says. “The Darling cousins together again, with three gorgeous ladies by our sides.”
“How crazy is this?” Dixie says. “Who would have ever dreamed, three years ago, that we’d end up here like this?”
“I don’t know,” Crystal says with a shrug. “We were already with Devlin and Colt, and I was always rooting for you and Preston, Dolly.”
“I wasn’t with Dixie then,” Colt corrects, leading us to the door and holding it open for us to enter. “I was just teaching her how to give blowjobs.”
“Well, we’re together now,” Dixie says, tucking herself under his arm. “That’s what matters.”
“What do you ladies want?” Colt asks, looking up at the chalkboard menu. “My treat.”
“You’re the sweetest,” Dixie coos.
“You don’t have to pay,” Crystal says.
“Apparently I crashed your ladies’ day out,” he says, giving Dixie a look. “It’s the least I can do.”
“We’re happy to have you,” I assure him. “Besides, I haven’t seen you in years, and we’re old friends. I’m sure we’ve got loads to catch up on. I’ll take a double scoop—cotton candy and bubble gum.”
After we get our order, we slide into a corner booth.
“So, how long are you in town?” Crystal asks, digging into her banana split.
“I don’t know,” I answer honestly. “I think maybe… For good.”
I glance sideways at her to see if she’ll feel weird about that, since she’s with my ex. But she just smiles. “That would be cool. I’ve only seen Dixie once, and I don’t have that many friends here.”
“You’ve got me,” Colt says. “And actually, all the Darlings.”
“Thanks,” she says. “I just don’t know any of you that well. You all hated me last time I lived here.”
“You mean, we were dicks to you because we wanted to fuck you, and you didn’t want us,” he says, laying his arm along the top of the booth behind Dixie while he holds his root beer float with the other hand.
Dixie glares at him, but he doesn’t seem to notice.
“Yeah, well, that’s why I don’t count you as friends,” Crystal says.
“What about Harper?” I ask carefully. “I mean, you live with her, right?”
“Right,” Crystal says, her voice equally careful.
Colt laughs and shakes his head, looking from one of us to the other.
“What?” I ask.
“You tell me,” he says, watching us with obvious amusement.
“I don’t think she likes me very much,” I admit.
“Me, neither,” Crystal says, and I relax with relief that I don’t have to tiptoe around the topic of the very odd choice her brother made.
“Oh, thank god,” I say. “I mean, not that she doesn’t like you. I’m sorry about that. I just thought it was me.”
“I’m not sure she likes anyone but Royal,” Crystal says.
“She seems to like Preston a lot,” I grumble.
Colt chuckles and starts digging his long spoon into the float.
My gaze falls to his hand, scarred like Preston’s face but covered with tattoos to hide it.
I swallow hard when I see he’s missing his middle finger.
“She’s a tough nut to crack,” he agrees.
“She’ll come around if you’re not a dick to her, though. ”
“She also likes Colt,” Dixie says, giving us a meaningful look over her twist cone.
“What?” he asks, laughing. “I’m a nice guy. What’s not to like?”
“We’re not going to trash talk your friend,” I assure him.
“She’s just… One of those girls who pretends she’s one of the guys,” Dixie says.
Colt snorts. “No, she’s not. The only thing she has in common with the guys is that she likes hot blondes.”
“What?” Crystal asks.
“Sorry to break it to you, but if your brother fucks up again, she’s one hundred percent going to replace him with a chick.”
“No way,” Dixie says. “I forgot she was even bi.”
“Dude, she spends half the school day up Gloria Walton’s ass,” he says. “If I didn’t trust her so much, I’d make Magnolia leave the bedroom door open when she comes to visit. But I do trust her, because she’s a badass and a good friend, so let’s talk about something else.”
“Sorry,” I say, noticing Dixie watching him suspiciously from the corner of her eye as she bites into her cone. “I didn’t mean to start something. It’s been a while since I was in town, and I’m out of the loop.”
“It’s all good,” Colt says, flashing me a grin. “So, you’re staying in Faulkner?”
“I think so,” I say, taking a breath and running my spoon along the edge of my cotton-candy scoop. I don’t say the rest, the part that’s too painful to speak. If Preston is here, I’ll be here.
“What are you going to do?” Dixie asks.
“I don’t know yet,” I say. “I might go back to school or get a job for a while until I figure it out. I spent so much time trying to make everyone happy, and then I sort of… I think I was so busy trying to make sure I wasn’t doing things to make others happy that I forgot to look for what made me happy.
So now I’m going to try to find that. I’m only twenty-one.
I have plenty of time. Maybe it’s outside Faulkner, but maybe it’s not.
Maybe it was right here all along, or maybe it’s only here now, when it’s time to restore something the town’s lost in the past few years. ”
“How do you do that?” Crystal asks. “I think we’re all trying to figure that out.”
“I don’t know yet,” I say. “I just think maybe I’m supposed to be part of it, to be here now. Maybe for Preston, or myself, or…” I glance at Crystal, marveling at the number of calories she’s shamelessly consuming as a breastfeeding mom.
She looks up. “What?”
“Well, I might need some parenting advice,” I admit. “If you need a mom friend.”
They all gape at me. “Are you serious?” Dixie squeals.
I nod, a silly grin tugging at my lips. “Yeah,” I say, admitting it aloud for the first time. “I’m having a baby.”
“It’s… Preston’s?” Colt asks carefully.
“Yeah.”
He reaches across the table and takes my hand. “We’re gonna be here for you, Doll.”
I nod, my throat suddenly tight. I know what he’s offering, what he’s saying. If something goes wrong, and Preston doesn’t pull through, I’m not alone. “Thank you,” I whisper.
“Darlings take care of their own,” he says, giving my hand a quick squeeze. “Besides, if I know my cousin, you’re going to have a wedding to plan at the same time. You’re going to need all the help you can get.”
We move on to other topics, the conversation flowing now that the awkward moments have passed.
For the first time in a long time, I’ve let my guard down around friends.
They’re real friends, the kind who are soon laughing and talking like no time at all has passed.
My heart aches at the realization of how much I missed this, how much I needed it.
I may never have known if not for Preston forcing my hand, forcing me to face the past I tried to escape.
And yes, I may have given up the possibility of future fame when I gave up Destiny’s dream, but I gained something so much better.
Real, honest friendship with people who care about me for who I really am, not how much money I can make them or what image I project from the stage.
For the first time in years, I feel happy and content.
This is who I am, who I’ve always been. I don’t need fame to be loved.
I never did. All I need are friends, family, and the man I love.
The next day, his eyes open when I walk in the room. “Dolly,” he says, his voice rough from the intubation. “You came back.”
“I told you I would,” I say, rushing to the bed with tears in my eyes. “That’s what you do when you love someone.”
For the next few weeks, I spend every spare moment at his bedside, doting on him and proving—not to him, but to myself—that I’m worthy of all he’s given me.