Chapter 7
Chapter seven
Life starts when you're not looking
And ends when you stop looking
Lucas and Kayla always fought, but not the kind of fighting that ended in screaming matches or tears.
To the outside world, it looked more like the beginning of a rom-com—or, honestly, the intro to a poorly written porno.
It was flirty, playful, and always led by Kayla.
But that’s just how she was with everyone.
Kayla could walk into any room and grab the attention of every man, woman, and probably even a few inanimate objects.
That was Kayla, and she loved it that way.
Looking back, I should’ve noticed that there was something deeper to her actions: her need for attention and perfection.
However, when I was fourteen, the whole world revolved around me and my emotions, like all teenagers.
I forgot to stop and realize that everyone around me was the main character of their own story, with their own plots, their own heroes, and their own villains.
Maybe I was the savior in someone’s story, or maybe I was the evil queen.
The truth is, I was probably both, just like Kayla was both a hero and a villain in mine.
Kayla was one of us—the fourth Musketeer in our odd little group of misfits.
But she didn’t like talking about her past or childhood, and none of us pried.
Jamie and I had the Cliff Notes, but we never delved deeper into her chapters.
Lucas, though, was different. He committed every detail about her to memory, as if each aspect were a riddle he had been quietly solving his entire life.
He knew the exact cadence of her laugh, how her voice softened when she was sad, and the way she always tucked her hair behind her ear when she was nervous.
He could anticipate her mood before she even said a word.
The truth was, Lucas understood Kayla in a silent, unshakable way that only someone who completely loved another could.
When Kayla acted out, Lucas was the only one who truly understood why.
He didn’t shy away from her temper or her sharp words; instead, he handled her in a way that seemed effortless.
Lucas understood Kayla like no one else could. He always had.
On August 10, 2013, while Jamie and I were caught up in our own storylines, Lucas had been the only one looking out for Kayla’s happy ending.
It was the last weekend before our first day of school.
The entire month before freshman year felt like an unhinged teen TV series in its final season—constant drama crashing into our lives left and right.
The latest blowout had been Jamie’s and my carnival fiasco, and after all that, I just wanted to stay home, curled up in a blanket, eating a pan of undercooked brownies, and watching Gossip Girl.
But Kayla decided we all needed to hit the reset button, and she was determined not to let us start high school in the middle of a fight.
Instead, she thought it was a great idea to cozy up to one of the senior football jocks and get us an invitation to the first party of the year.
As soon as we stepped inside the house, the music hit us like a wall, and the deep bass vibrated through my chest as if it had been trying to dislodge my heart.
Kayla was in full-on Kayla mode, practically dragging us into chaos like this party was some life-altering experience.
Spoiler alert: it wasn’t. But try telling that to Kayla.
Once she set her mind on something, it was more solid than the concrete holding the Pentagon together.
“This is going to be the best night of our lives! The start of our high school social status! We have to do this right!” She snatched two tiny plastic cups off a round platter at the front of the door and jettisoned one at me.
It was a weird, green substance, half liquid and half underdeveloped Jell-O.
“I agreed to come to the party; I did not agree to get plastered.” I shot back at her.
“No! No Debbie Downer tonight! We are all going to have fun.” She jabbed a pointy finger into Lucas’s chest. “That includes you, too, Mr.” She handed him her green goop.
I glanced at Jamie, who had been doing an awe-inspiring job of pretending I hadn’t existed since the carnival mess. Lucky me. If I had a dollar for every time he eyed me with that stupid mix of guilt and hurt, I could afford a trip to the Bahamas.
I refocused my attention on Kayla. “Tonight is the worst idea you’ve ever had,” I stated more to myself than to her.
“But what the hell, we’re about to be high schoolers.
Time to act like it, I guess.” I raised my green cup to my brother and we toasted, then quickly downed the contents.
The strange texture slithered down my throat like sour mucus.
Kayla jumped up and down like a kangaroo on coke. “Yes! Now that’s what I’m talking about!”
She dashed into the crowd, dragging Lucas along.
He wasn’t resisting much, though, probably because he had no energy left after the breakup.
It had only been two days since he and his girlfriend split, and he’d been in a mood ever since.
I, however, could not be more thrilled that his summer romance was over. Ding dong, the witch is gone.
Jamie trailed behind me, silent but radiating discomfort. The night had “disaster” written all over it, but we were already in too deep. We followed Kayla into the lion’s den. What else could we do? Be sensible? That ship sailed the moment we agreed to come.
The house was packed, mostly with seniors who wouldn’t look at us twice if it weren’t for Kayla.
I scanned the room, my eyes landing on the scattered red solo cups, a stained couch sinking under the weight of too many people, and a flickering lightbulb overhead.
The mingled scents of sweat and cheap beer hit me a second later, making me briefly wonder if we could make a quick escape.
However, Kayla had other plans. She was already in full force, working the room with her effortless charm.
Lucas watched her from a distance. His expression was tight, and tension pulsed from him like radiation.
“Lucas, you sure you want to be here?” I asked.
He barely spared me a glance, his eyes never leaving Kayla. “Do I have a choice?”
His stare narrowed as Kayla started chatting with the guy who had invited us. He leaned against the wall, all cool and cocky, eyes fixed on her like she was his prize for the night.
Jamie hung back, quiet as ever. This wasn’t his scene, and it wasn’t mine. But here we were.
As Kayla laughed at something the guy said, my gaze drifted to his friends standing just a few feet away.
I hadn’t noticed the one guy initially, but how his eyes lingered on me made my stomach tense.
His hair, slicked back with too much gel, caught the light as he pushed a hand through it, his smile stretching a little too wide when he realized I had noticed him.
He took a step closer, and the overpowering scent of his cologne reached me before he did. “So.” He leaned in as if we were already in the middle of a conversation. “What’s a nice girl like you doing at a party like this?”
Is he flirting?
I let out a surprised chuckle, partly out of embarrassment but mostly out of shock. “I um … wow, is that your best pick-up line?”
“Did it work?” He flashed his white teeth at me.
A strange shiver rippled through my chest. “Maybe. Or maybe that weird green goo is going to my head.”
“Hey, I made that green goo. I’m very proud of my artistry.”
“Oh yeah, you’re a real Picasso.”
The guy chuckled. “I’m Nicholas. What’s your name, Miss Drink Critic?”
I bit my lower lip, contemplating whether or not to give this older boy my real name. “… Alex.”
He took my hand in his. “Well, Alex, would you like to dance?”
I was going to say no. I had no intention of being a piece of freshman meat to a hungry senior boy.
But when I felt Jamie’s presence looming behind me, I glanced back.
He stood just a few feet away, staring in my direction, though pretending not to.
His jaw was tight; his shoulders squared like he was bracing for something.
Before I could answer, Jamie’s fingers twitched at his sides, his eyes hard as they flicked between the guy and me.
“I don’t think so,” Jamie’s voice cut through the air like a blade.
I turned to him, my eyebrows raised. “Excuse me?”
“Seems like I need to keep you from making poor choices tonight.”
Heat rose in my cheeks. “What? Like letting you talk to me?”
Jamie’s lips twitched, but he didn’t smile. “No, like entertaining this guy,” he shot back, “Or maybe you’re just turned on by swapping spit with random strangers. Wouldn’t be the first time this month.”
I blinked, caught off guard by how much that stung. I turned back to Nicholas. “So, uh ... that dance?” I said, letting my smile linger a little too long, feeling Jamie’s eyes burning into my back.
“I thought you would never ask,” Nicholas said, taking a step closer and offering me his hand. But before anything else could happen, Kayla emerged suddenly, seizing my arm with uncontainable excitement.
“Oh my god, yes! Let’s dance!” Kayla’s voice cut through the pounding bass as she tugged me—and Nicholas—into the center of the room.
The crowd surrounded us, the heat rising as bodies pressed against each other.
The floor drummed beneath my feet, each pulse of the bass vibrating through my legs.
Kayla was already in motion, spinning wildly, her hair whipping around as she threw her arms into the air.
Nicholas slid beside me, a grin tugging at the corner of his mouth as he easily matched my movements.
I laughed, breathless, as Nicholas playfully twirled me again and again, the world around us blurring into lights and motion.