Chapter 17
Chapter seventeen
Two broken souls
Fallen from grace
Hunted by shadows, they couldn't erase
Their love was a storm, a fiery chase
Two broken souls
Became whole in each other's embrace
April 17, 2016: (PART 2)
We dashed through the misty night, my bare feet smacking against the wet pavement. In hindsight, keeping my heels on would have been the more intelligent decision so that I wouldn't have ended up with little cuts on my toes, but all thought and logic went out the window that night.
Jamie and I abandoned the limo to avoid waking my parents as we returned to my house, completely drenched from the rain.
My dress clung to my thighs like duct tape.
As we reached the tree that stretched toward my bedroom window, I hurriedly grabbed the branches to pull myself up.
Jamie guided me until we reached the top, his fingers pressing lightly into my hips.
The gentle touch made it almost unbearable to stand, and my pulse raced so fast that I feared I might collapse at any moment.
I always left my window unlocked in case Jamie needed to make a quick escape from his house, so I typically wasn’t the one climbing back into my bedroom. That was Jamie’s job.
I reached for my windowsill and tried to stretch my leg over, and that’s when I heard a distinct screech run up the fabric of my dress. I looked back to inspect the damage. A slit ran up the back of the purple material. “Kayla is so going to kill me.” I grimaced.
Jamie helped steady my waist as I opened my bedroom window and climbed through the opening, practically tumbling on my face as I entered my room. “How have you been doing that for years without dying?”
Jamie gracefully pulled himself through the window and closed it behind him before offering me a hand up off the ground.
“I would climb the Empire State Building if it meant being next to you.” He moved his hand behind my neck and pulled me in, his lips gripping mine as his free hand roamed down the sides of my waist, resting on the swell of my back.
I gently placed my hands on his chest. His breath stalled slightly, and his eyes slowly opened. His fingertips roamed my body, illuminated only by the soft glow of the moonlight shining in from the window.
“Is this happening?” Jamie whispered.
I couldn’t answer him at first; everything inside me went numb. I told myself to take a breath. “I think so.”
I tried to resume kissing him, but he stopped me, eyes now falling to the floor. “I’m sorry.” He breathed. “About the dance. About taking Bethany. It was stupid.”
I stepped back a little, keeping one hand on his arm. “Then why did you do it?” Don’t ask that! Don’t ruin this! I pleaded with my lips to zip.
Jamie swallowed deeply as if the words were physically painful. “Because you’re my best friend.” His dark eyes returned to mine, causing my lungs to protest against taking a breath. “I don’t think you realize how much I need you. After everything, I couldn’t risk losing us.”
“Jamie, it was just a dance, not a battlefield.”
“For me, it was.” He stepped closer. “What if I mess this up? What if I am like your father? If we do this.” He paused and rubbed his thumb in circles on the nape of my neck, his lips dangerously close to mine.
“If we start this, that’s it. There’s no going back, and there’s no second chance.
I would rather be your friend forever than only have you for a moment.
” He closed his eyes and lowered his head, his forehead resting on mine.
“I don’t want to ruin us. I don’t want to ruin you. ”
I placed my finger under his chin and lightly lifted his gaze to mine. “Jamie, you’re not my dad. Nor are you yours.
“You don’t know that.” His voice was broken.
“Yes, I do. Because I know you.” I moved my hands over his chest and to the back of his hair. “Because … I love you,” I whispered those three words like they were a scorpion ready to sting, like pain was the only thing that could come after.
Jamie’s eyes widened in surprise, and he tightened his grip on me. My heart raced as I waited for his response. Then, slowly, a smile spread across his cheeks. It was the kind of smile that started small and grew until it lit up his entire face like a match and threatened to burn the world as well.
“I wanted to be the one who said that first.” His cheeks rose as he tucked a strand of wet hair out of my eyes with the tips of his fingers.
“You snooze, you lose.”
“I guess I’ll just have to show you then.”
He pulled my hips into him and tugged my mouth with his.
“I want ...” I said, and then I realized that I didn't know how to say it.
Jamie took a few breaths, his eyes shifting from my lips back to my eyes. “Do you want me to leave?” he asked, his tone tentative as if afraid of his own words.
I chuckled at his concern. “Definitely not. I want you to stay.” I held the last word, hoping he'd get the hint, but he looked more confused than ever. “All night.” There was a moment of pure silence, and I'm pretty sure I didn't breathe the whole time, and neither did he.
“You want me to stay and keep doing this?”
“I want you to do a lot more than this.”
Jamie stumbled over his following words. “Seriously? Are you sure?”
“Just kiss me already.” I hooked my finger onto the collar of his shirt and pulled him down to me.
I gripped the sides of his suit jacket and ripped it off his forearms. I fumbled with the buttons of his black button-down shirt; part of me just wanted to rip them off with my teeth, but I was trying to show a little restraint.
“Who knew you were in such a rush to see me naked?” His voice pressed to my ear.
Screw restraint. I ripped the rest of his shirt off his arms and threw it to the floor, my hands roaming up and down his torso. Damn, you could wash clothes on these abs.
His hands gripped my shoulders and flipped my body around so that my back was facing him.
He lightly undid the zipper of my dress and pulled it down my spine; his feathery light touch cascading down my back sent electricity to my toes.
He then traveled back up to my shoulders and pushed my straps off, his fingers caressing them down my forearm.
Then he gripped the sides of my dress and moved it down my body until I was left in nothing but my underwear and bra.
His mouth moved to my neck, and he started kissing my skin before guiding my waist to the bed.
I sat down, and he sat beside me. Neither of us had the faintest idea of what to do next.
I moved my body towards the head of the bed frame and pulled him on top of me.
His lips traveled from my mouth to my jaw, then attached themselves to my neck.
That does it. My body ached for the simplest touch of his skin, and we hadn't even gotten to the X-rated stuff yet.
An involuntary moan escaped my lips, and he groaned against my chest, gripping my waist and pushing our bodies together.
“I’m going to rip those pants off if you don’t remove them already,” I demanded.
Jamie kissed my bare stomach. “Yes, ma’am.” He quickly removed the rest of his clothing, but before he threw them off the bed, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small packet.
Oh shit, this is happening.
I wasn’t afraid or nervous, but it was my first time, after all. It was unfamiliar territory, but with Jamie, every move felt as natural as breathing.
Jamie stopped. “Are …?
“Yes, I'm sure. And if you don't hurry up, I'm going to finish without you.”
He grinned through his laugh, weaving the condom package between his thumb and forefinger.
He quickly tore the packet open and slipped the disc on.
Shifting his body, he returned to hovering over me, then lightly parted my legs with his hand and moved his palm higher and higher up the inside of my thigh.
His lips greeted mine slowly. My hands clung to his waist in a desperate attempt to pull him closer.
And then everything in my body tightened as he pressed into me; my eyes squeezed shut, and I lightly gasped.
The health teacher wasn't lying when she said your first time hurts, but I would take that pain repeatedly if it meant feeling so connected to Jamie in a way that took my mind and body somewhere I never knew existed.
I loved him, and finally, I knew he loved me. The world could end in a ball of flames, and I would die happy knowing that this moment was just ours.
My eyes fluttered open to see sparkling lights entering through my bedroom blinds.
It was early in the morning because the sun still had an orange hue.
The rays cast tiny shadows over my floors, which were draped with our clothes.
I wasn't ready to leave at that moment, so instead, I rested my head on my pillow and turned to watch Jamie as he slept peacefully beside me.
His chest rose and fell in a steady rhythm, and his arm was draped over my waist. I could feel the warmth of his body against mine, and his breath tickled my neck.
The silence of the morning was only broken by the soft sound of his breathing.
I traced the lines of his jaw with my finger, marveling at how handsome he looked even in his sleep.
It was hard to believe that we were finally together.
It was like a dream that I prayed would never turn into a nightmare.
But seeing him lying here, feeling his body pressed into mine, it made even the possibility of heartbreak seem worth it.
“Oh my god!”
I was jolted from my peaceful moment as I heard the loud boom of my mother’s voice coming from outside my bedroom door and down the hall. I launched myself into an upright position on my bed. I couldn’t tell if I was just disoriented, confused, or possibly still asleep.
But then I heard the unmistakable sound of Lucas's voice, followed by my mother's raised tone.
I couldn't listen to what they were arguing about, but I could tell he was panicked, and she was furious.
I listened intently for the following words to travel down the hall, but suddenly, there was a pause in the shouting, and that's when I heard Kayla's apologetic voice like a mouse echoing through an air vent.
‘Oh my god,’ was right.
Did Kayla sleep with Lucas?
Did Kayla sleep with Lucas?!
I pulled my ear forward, straining to hear more, but the voices slipped into the background, leaving me in the dark about whatever soap opera was unfolding this morning.
Just as I was itching to know more, my bedroom door swung open with a bang, crashing into the door stopper.
My heart leapt into my throat as I saw my mother standing in my doorway, holding a spatula tightly in her hand.
Her face was twisted into a mask of fury, and all the veins in her neck and face were pulsing with rage.
Her eyes narrowed into a fierce glance, making my mouth tremble to find words that wouldn't escape my lips.
Before I could come up with some plausible deniability, Jamie woke up.
He launched from the bed, his face contorted with fear and embarrassment.
I probably could have talked my way out of this moment; it wasn't like Jamie hadn't spent the night hundreds of times before—heck, it wasn't even the first time my mother had caught us in bed together—but the fact that he jumped out of my sheets butt-naked with his clothes scattered on my bedroom floor made coming up with an excuse … complicated.
Jamie looked around frantically, searching for his pants, but they were nowhere to be found.
He threw on his boxers, barely covering himself up, giving him just enough time before my mom, still clutching the spatula, charged toward Jamie like a deranged murderer.
I watched in horror as she chased him out of the room, her voice echoing down the hallway as she shouted at him.
I gripped my comforter and wrapped it around my body as I ran to the door frame, freezing as I reached the hallway, unsure of what to do or say. And that's when my mother turned to Kayla, who was stumbling out of Lucas's Room, her torso only covered by one of his oversized T-shirts.
“You better start running, too, young lady. You're lucky I gave you a head start to get dressed. Or would you prefer to be jogging down the street in your boxers like Jamie right now?” My mother raised this spatula high in the air.
“I'm leaving! I'm leaving!” Kayla squealed as her toes bounced off each step and blasted through the front door.
I locked eyes with Lucas from across the hallway.
His torso was completely bare, and his legs were only covered by a pair of wrinkled pajama bottoms. I suddenly burst into a muffled laugh.
From across the hall, I shot my brother a thumbs up, a grin tugging at my lips despite my lingering confusion about how in the world Lucas and Kayla had somehow ended up together that night.
But it didn’t matter; for the first time, it felt like we were all exactly where we were meant to be.
Together.
If only we hadn't fucked it up.