Chapter 9
NINE
LOURDES
In the same way dreams could be motivating, thoughts could cripple. The what-if of what could have happened last night plagued my thoughts all night and this morning.
When I finally fell asleep, I did it at dawn and completely missed my alarm. My first week of work was going to end with a bang.
Was it all even worth it?
The thought got to me, and quitting held its appeal. Sometimes, it was easier to let go of things to save ourselves peace of mind.
I almost said fuck it and let everything go, but then my eyes landed on the necklace my father gave me, and all I could think about was my mother. The sacrifices she made, all her lessons, and the wisdom she passed on to me.
It was in her that I found strength.
Even though I didn’t feel like dressing up, I got out of bed and changed. After what happened yesterday, something about wearing a skirt made me feel slimy and gross. None of my dressy pants had been in my plans this week, so they weren’t ironed, and my power outfit I had saved just for Friday went back to the closet. Instead, I donned clothes I found suitable for church. Something long, so I would feel protected.
By the time I got to my desk, Neo was already out and about.
I double-checked my email to make sure he had not tried to contact me. Neo ignored me like he always had, but this time, it stung.
It wasn’t Wesley whom I wanted to take me home yesterday, nor Clove’s arms around me as she hugged me goodbye. I had needed him, and he had stayed behind.
Marie had been asking me to come by and have lunch with her, and we had planned to go out to a nice restaurant today, but with everything going on in the company, she needed to be close to her phone so she could put out fires.
The last thing I expected was for Neo to be on the same floor and have lunch with his mother.
It was awkward at first. I didn’t know what to say. Thank you? It felt lame, but at the same time, it was not enough. Subconsciously, I had stepped closer to him; it was as if my body categorized him as safe.
Luckily, he broke the ice first, and he was soft toward me—but most importantly, he believed me.
Last night was still fresh in my mind. Some parts were vivid, others were blurred, so having his support meant everything to me.
He hurt you.
He cared. Neo cared about my pain, and maybe that shouldn’t matter as much as it did, but I couldn’t help making a big deal out of it.
Before he could say anything else, the lights on the elevator went off.
“I don’t think the emergency light is coming on,” I said after a good thirty seconds.
It was pitch black.
Had I been alone, I would have been terrified, but after yesterday, my body felt safe next to Neo.
“Don’t tell me you’re afraid of the dark?”
His tone lacked the usual venom and instead was teasing.
“And if I was?” I asked.
He was quiet for a few seconds, as if he was thinking of how to reply. Would he go back to being cruel? Was last night a lapse in judgment?
“Fuck it,” he mumbled to himself.
Before I could question him, his hand curved around my waist, and he pushed me back until I made contact with the side of the elevator.
My heart started to beat faster, and fear was the last thing on my mind. Even though I couldn’t see him, I could feel him. His energy was all around me. The beating of my heart echoed so loud I could feel myself bursting with anticipation.
“I hate him.” His words were harsh, ricochetting in the dark.
“What?”
I needed some clarity since I had no idea what he was talking about.
Neo didn’t answer me right away. Instead, he pressed his body closer to mine. I could hear his breathing right next to my ear, sense his chest pressing against mine, and feel one of his legs wedged between mine.
Fuck.
I would be lying if I said I didn’t want this—that I never pictured him late at night with my hand between my legs. I wanted Neo since I felt like we were kindred spirits. Two outcasts just trying to survive. And unfortunately, that didn’t change when we became family.
“Hate that he took from you. I hate that I wasn’t there to stop it sooner, but most of all, I hate that he touched something I’ve always considered mine.”
This had to be a dream, right? Here, in the dark, nothing felt real. We were existing somewhere between fantasy and disaster.
Since I couldn’t see, I blindly reached for him. My hands made contact with his chest. Then, I slowly moved them up until I cupped his face.
I didn’t need the light to know what he looked like. I’ve had his features etched in my memory for years. Instead, I let my fingers glide through his beard, my thumb caressed against his lower lip, and finally I ran my fingers through his soft curls.
“Neo.” My voice was hoarse. “I don’t want his touch to be the last I feel.”
He groaned right before I felt his lips in the juncture where my neck met my shoulder. Shivers spread down my body, and my core grew warm.
He grabbed my wrists in his hands and then brought them down to my sides.
“You don’t know what you’re asking for,” he bit out.
I ignored him.
“Touch me… please .”
Neo let go of one of my wrists, and I thought he would finally touch me, but instead, I felt those fingers wrap around my throat, making it harder to breathe.
“Is this what you wanted, Lou? To feel my hands on your skin?”
His voice was dark and silky, his fingers adding just enough pressure to leave me breathless.
“Does it get you off knowing you’re the last person I want to touch?”
His words were harsh, but his hand moved softly down my cheek.
“You want me,” I said confidently as I tried and failed to move my leg so I could rub it against his hard-on.
He let out a dark chuckle that did funny things to my insides. My panties grew even more wet.
“And if I say I do?” he taunted as his hand moved down my leg and lifted the hem of my skirt. “Are you going to give me your wet little cunt on a silver platter?”
His words should have disgusted me, but my panties were already drenched. His fingers moved higher up my leg, drawing soft patterns until he reached the apex of my thighs.
If the lights were on, I would be embarrassed because he would see how much he affected me. My pants seemed to be amplified in the dark.
“Fuck you,” I spat at him.
His fingers skimmed my pussy right over the wet spot in my panties.
“Look how wet you get for me, Lou, for the stepbrother you hate.” Neo moved my panties to the side and stroked two fingers against me. He did it slowly and deliberately then rubbed my clit, causing me to moan.
“You hear that, baby? Hear how much of a little slut you sound for me.”
Before I could say anything, he sunk those two fingers inside of me. I was wet enough that he met no resistance.
“How desperate are you for my cock, Lou? If your pussy grips my fingers any tighter, you’re going to cut them off,” he sneered.
“I hate you,” I managed to choke out.
He laughed.
With his free hand, he gripped my chin. His forehead pressing against mine, he angled his head, and then his nose aligned with mine.
“Yeah? Then show me how much you hate me,” he growled as he let go of my chin only for him to grab a fistful of hair to make sure I didn’t move. Before I could question what came next, I felt his lips on my own.
This kiss was everything and nothing at all. It was a high I didn’t know I could ever come down from, but it was something I knew I would never be able to recall. I could taste him, feel him, and smell him, but I would never know how he looked at me when he kissed me for the first time.
This kiss was pain and rage. Venom dripped off every kiss. His kisses were harsh, and I might have said he kissed me passionately if I were delusional, but the way his lips moved against mine, the tight grip he had on my hair so I wouldn’t move, it was like he was punishing me for something.
“Neo.” I whimpered his name as I felt myself get closer.
“You’re close, baby?” he breathed with a little less bite than before.
Neo adjusted his hand so his thumb began to stroke circles against my clit while he worked his fingers in and out of my pussy.
Before I could say any more, hell, even before I could finish, we both stilled as a phone started ringing next to me.
For a second, I forgot where we were and why it was wrong to do this with him.
The emergency line in the elevator was ringing, a cruel reminder that the real world was waiting for us in the light.
Neo let go of my hair, and he had to lean over to reach for the little case where it was housed while his right hand was still deep inside of me.
I heard clanking as he pulled the phone out. He held it right by our ears.
“Hello,” he said, his voice sounding perfectly composed.
“Neo, are you all right? Is Lou with you?”
The moment I heard my father’s voice, I tried to push Neo away.
“Richard, we’re both in here. What happened?”
I was sure any second Neo would let me go, but the asshole chose that moment to add pressure on my clit. The buildup of my orgasm started to come back as he scissored his fingers before pulling them out and then dragging them back inside as deep as he could get.
My head hit the wall as I bit my lip while I listened to my father’s explanation.
“After what happened in the London branch, we added a few extra security measures. While they were coding it, they triggered one of the responses. I was trying to come up, and your mother down. If it weren’t for that or Marie mentioning she had lunch with Lou, you two might have been stuck there for longer.”
“So, you’ll get us out soon?” he asked, then the asshole licked the shell of my ear.
I would have moaned if I weren’t already biting my lip like my life depended on it.
“Yeah, we are just waiting for them to reboot the system, and the elevator should be working again.” My dad cleared his throat, then sounded a little bit hesitant as he asked, “Is Lou okay?”
Neo began to finger me faster. Shame burned through me as the sound of my wetness began to grow the closer he got me to the edge.
“She’s a little tongue-tied,” Neo’s words were laced with mock concern. “Maybe it’s the claustrophobia, but it’s a tight fit in here, but don’t worry, we’re making it work.”
I was going to kill him.
Neo hooked his fingers as his thumb flicked my clit, and my toes curled in my shoes. Thank God I wore sensible shoes today, or my knees would have already given out.
“Take care of my little girl,” my dad told him, and Neo chuckled.
My chest grew hot, and I wasn’t sure if it was from humiliation or the fact that I was seconds away from coming. My hips began to push back against his hands as my body gave in to the pleasure.
“Don’t worry, Richard. I’m taking good care of her now.” He wasn’t teasing anymore. If anything, I’d say his voice had dropped. He wasn’t as unaffected as he wanted me to think. “Lou, tell Richard you’re fine.”
He kept the phone in the same spot but shifted his body, and then I felt him whispering in my other ear.
“You’re so fucking wet,” he hissed. “Keep quiet. You don’t want Daddy to know what a thirsty little slut you are.”
“Lou, are you there?” my dad spoke on the phone, but I couldn’t answer. Neo was determined to make me come at this moment.
“Answer him,” Neo demanded on my other side.
“I-I’m okay, Daddy,” I said breathlessly. “J-j-just a little freak o-out.”
Fuck .
My pussy began to flutter against Neo’s fingers.
“You’re going to come, baby?” he groaned. “Your needy little pussy is so fucking tight. You want my cock, don’t you, baby?”
The whimper left my lips before I could stop it.
“Neo.”
“Richard, I think she’s having a panic attack. I will let you go so I can take care of her.”
I almost cried when Neo stopped his ministrations and slammed the phone back into where he had taken it from.
“You’re going to scream my name, Lourdes,” Neo spat. “I want it to ricochet off these four walls. I want it to echo every time you open your stupid little mouth to spew your bullshit. I want you to know who is making you come.”
My eyes rolled back. My back arched, causing me to press closer to him. I closed my eyes even though I couldn’t see anything, and when I came, I didn’t moan his name.
“ I hate you !”
Neo’s fingers fucked me through my orgasm until the aftershocks had subsided.
“You can say you hate me all you want, but your cunt says otherwise.”
He pulled his hand away just as the lights flickered on. In a few seconds, he was on the other end of the elevator. Neo looked perfectly composed, while I felt like my sins had been left bare.
My back was still leaning against the wall for support, and my chest was rising and falling rapidly as I tried to regain my breathing.
Our gazes locked, and Neo’s mouth parted open. That’s when I noticed how dark his eyes had gotten. I cocked my head while looking at him from top to bottom. His mouth opened, and my breath skipped while I waited for what he would say, but then the elevator pinged, causing us both to jump.
The door opened, and my father rushed inside, pulling me into his arms.
The humiliation swept through me like a tidal wave, causing my knees to finally buck. My father held on to me tighter, and it made it that much worse.
A popping sound made me look up, and I watched as Neo took his two fingers out of his mouth.
“See you later, Richard,” Neo said as he began to walk away without meeting my eyes.
“Thank you, son, for taking care of my little girl.”
“What are big brothers for?”
I was going to throw up.
I didn’t throw up. Nor did I see Neo for the rest of the day. I would have been able to locate his whereabouts but for now, I was grateful. But at some point, during the day, he had come into his office, because right before the end of the day, a sage green box appeared on my desk.
How was it possible that the asshole made me hate him, yet he still made me cry at how thoughtful his gift had been?
He got me my own watch because he knew my grandfather wouldn’t be giving it to me. And that meant everything to me.