Chapter 21
TWENTY-ONE
LOURDES
If anyone needed a guide on imploding their life, I was their girl.
In the corporate world, Riviere Conglomerate was a dumpster trash on fire. Articles were being printed left and right. Stocks kept going down, and I bet my grandfather was close to having a heart attack.
That was just the tip of the iceberg because my little stunt was about to clean house. With the impending police investigations, someone was about to go to jail for bribing deans and school chairs.
Revenge wasn’t as sweet as I thought it would be, if I was being honest. It was a hollow feeling that left me drained.
Part of it was that I knew my mami would not have been impressed by me. She didn’t like political games, nor did she believe that you got ahead by sabotaging others.
At the end of the day, wasn’t that growing up? Reconciling the fact that we were our own persons, and our paths didn’t have to follow what our parents wanted?
Some moments, I felt bad for my father, but I still had so much anger in me, and I had been carrying a grudge toward him that I felt like he deserved it.
Emotions were draining.
After imploding my life into chaos, I returned to my apartment. I loved my friends, but I just needed to be alone and breathe. I felt like I had been running since returning from my business trip.
All I wanted was some comfort, and since there was no person in my life to give me that, being surrounded by my things might help. It wasn’t like Neo would be coming anytime soon, not after what I did. I was the last person he would want to see.
Good. He’s the last person I want to see, too .
I thought I would feel better if I lied to myself, but it didn’t work. Feelings could be fickle, or they could be set in stone, and I just hoped that my feelings were somewhere in between because feeling like I had been stabbed in the heart every time I breathed sucked.
So, for the last week, I stayed at home. I was always good at keeping things low-key, but after the blind item, my social media accounts were filled with DMs. People might not have cared about me, but they did about Neo. They wanted to be him; they thought he was hot, and as a woman involved in a scandal with him, I was instantly vilified.
I underestimated people’s empathy for women.
For now, my best bet was to stay quiet. Hopefully, people would move on to the next rumor by next week.
The only thing that gave me satisfaction was that the deal with the Parks fell through due to a morality clause. I destroyed my legacy, but I still didn’t want Tatum Park anywhere near it.
As I sipped my hibiscus tea on the balcony and looked down at the city, I wondered for how much longer I would enjoy the view. I had some money, but if I were to start from zero it would be better not to spend it so frivolously. The thought made me jump out of my seat to run to get my laptop.
I opened the website for my lease so I could change the banking information from Neo’s account to mine because it no longer felt right to use his money, but when I logged into my account, there was nothing left to pay off.
What the fuck?
The thing was paid off before the trip.
Mierda .
Before I could ponder on it any longer, there was a knock on the door. My stomach dropped, and I looked at it as if it were about to explode.
They banged the door again, and I slowly approached it. I left my phone on the balcony so I couldn’t even look at the app to see who was outside.
“Lourdes, open the door, now!”
Dread coursed through me upon hearing my father’s voice.
Slowly, I reached for the doorknob, and before turning it, I took a deep breath. You got this. I knew this was coming. It’s not like I would never speak to my family, and they wouldn’t be letting this go before doling out my punishment.
When I opened the door, I didn’t know what to say to him. The distance between us seemed wider than ever. My lower lip trembled, and now, more than ever, I missed being my dad’s little girl.
“May I come in?” He broke the tension between us. His voice was a lot softer than it had been earlier.
Stepping aside, I motioned for him to come in. What was I supposed to say in this moment? Sorry, Papi? Now, that seemed insensitive.
My father looked around my place. How sad was it that I had been living here for three years, and this was the first time he had ever been here?
He looked around my living room, his eyes landing on the photographs on my shelves. It was us—back when we had been a family. All the family photos stopped after my mami’s death. After my quinceanera there were only three photos of me with my dad. That had been for my high school and college graduations. Everything else was me with my friends.
“What happened to us, Lulu?”
My father sounded defeated as he asked me that question, which I had asked myself a thousand times.
“Mom died.” I shrugged.
My father sat down with his hands clasped and his shoulders slumped. “I’m sorry for marrying Pricilla… I should have picked someone else.”
His apology surprised me, but his last statement wasn’t shocking since I figured he didn’t marry Pricilla for love. I remembered the way my father used to be with my mother. He loved her—maybe not enough to stand up to my grandfather, but he did adore my mother. However, his behavior with Pricilla had been colder, and lately, it seemed he’d had trouble tolerating her.
“Why her?” I asked. If he didn’t want to talk about my fuckup just yet, I guess this would do. We had years of anger between us—well, at least I did. “Mom was amazing, and Pricilla is a fucking bitch.”
Wow, that felt good to say aloud.
My father’s lip twitched.
“I know, and I’m sorry I put you through that.”
My throat constricted at his words. My emotions were still too raw and all over the place.
“D-don’t,” I hissed. “Don’t apologize for something you not only did to me, but to Mom too. You’ve always let everyone walk all over us.”
My father winced at my words.
I blinked away tears.
With nothing left to lose, I guess I had finally found the strength to tell him how I really felt.
“I deserved that,” he sighed. “You might not think much of me, but I loved your mother. I almost left it all for her.”
This surprised me. There was no need to ask questions since my father kept going.
“Gerald wasn’t happy that I wasn’t marrying the woman he found suitable for me. Since I was his only heir, he had to bend to my wishes unless he wanted a distant cousin to inherit everything.”
I snorted.
“Yet he never shut up about how you could have done better.
“Your mother was wiser than you and me. She played the long game. And she never cared for my father’s opinion of her. She knew her worth and always said he was beneath her for adhering to such petty views… I loved that about her. The way she didn’t let anyone’s opinion get to her.” A bittersweet smile graced his lips. “She was happy, Lou. She didn’t care about any of the bullshit anyone said…besides, she loved spending the Riviere money on good causes and then bragging to your grandfather about it.”
That did sound like my mother.
“Then why marry Pricilla at all?”
“How did you put it? She’s a fucking bitch?”
All I could do was let him carry on.
“Your grandfather is old-school. He wasn’t going to give me the company unless I remarried. Family values are important to the company’s image, and they were tied into my inheritance…into my legacy… It would affect you.”
Leave it to Grandfather to be an asshole by all accounts.
“Pricilla is cunning, and I knew she would have enough motivation to work your grandfather into changing things in his will that I could later exploit and make it easier to give you control… You’re my legacy, Lou… You’re all I have left.”
My father’s voice broke at that last part. Now that I looked at him, he seemed like he hadn’t slept in weeks. I hadn’t allowed myself to pay much attention to my father in the last few years. It’s like I suddenly noticed that he wasn’t eternal, and he had aged in the time I let the anger blind me.
“And I fucked that up, didn’t I?” I whispered. My anger was still there, but I was also beginning to understand him. “A-are y-you mad a-at me?”
God, I sounded stupid. Of course he was mad. I had kept it together long enough that, at this moment, I broke. I cried. I let go of all the things I had been holding in for years, telling myself I was being strong.
“Oh, Lulu.”
My hands were covering my face as I let the sobs take me. Everything hurt, and I wondered how many more times my heart would keep breaking. I was tired of feeling like I couldn’t measure up…like I wasn’t good enough.
I wasn’t paying attention, so I didn’t notice my father standing from where he sat, not until I felt him scooping me up so he could sit down as he held me. The action had me sobbing harder, and my father reacted by wrapping his arms around me.
It felt like I cried for hours, and by the time my sobs subsided, I felt drained. My dad was rubbing my back, and he kissed my forehead every so often.
“I’m sorry, Papi,” I whispered.
My dad only hugged me tighter.
“I’m sorry my actions made you feel like you couldn’t come to me for help. I failed you first, honey.”
“Has Grandfather disinherited me?”
My father sighed.
“Don’t worry about him…I’ll always have your back, Lulu.” He kissed my forehead. “After your stunt, I was infuriated, but then I was reminded of the role I played to get you to that point. And despite wishing you wouldn’t have done things the way you did, I’m also proud of you for standing up to everyone.”
His words made me tear up.
“There’s a reason I came here, Lulu,” he told me.
I looked up at him and braced for what he would say.
“Pricilla tried to do some damage control on her own. It was too late to stop it but know that we will get through this. I’m always going to be in your corner, Lulu.”
Maybe because my life had been on a rollercoaster in the past few days, his statement didn’t fill me with dread as it should have. My dad kissed my forehead and didn’t say more, and I took comfort that whatever that bitch had done had pushed my father back into my life.
Despite everything going on for the first time in weeks, I started to feel a bit better. All the crying was cathartic, and although not repaired, I knew this was the right step into repairing things with my dad.
We stayed in my living room for hours. The sun set, and my dad just held me. He would let me cry, and then eventually, he ordered some food for us when my stomach started growling.
It was mid-bite when he asked a question I should have seen coming. Since I wasn’t expecting it, I almost choked on my pizza.
“Did he force you into a relationship with him?”
My dad’s tone was even, his eyes calculating. He did not need to clarify who the he in question was. Not when I was responsible for outing us.
I shook my head.
“No,” I mumbled, trying to stop myself from crying. “I just wasn’t important enough for him.”
My heartbeat was faster as my dad opened his mouth, and I braced for what he would say. However, my phone began to ring before he could speak. It was Clove. I let it go to voicemail, but she called right away and sent a text saying, "Answer me.”
“What happened?” I asked.
“Neo just got arrested for beating the shit out of Tatum.”