Chapter 5 #3
Needing to test her vocabulary to better understand how I would have my woman up to par in reading and comprehension within six months, I said, “Melancholy.”
“Too big.”
“Simple,” I replied, feeling sorrow wrapping around my bones.
“Perfect.”
“Ambiguous.”
“You are doing too much,” she said, pushing me back and looking past me.
“Look at me,” I demanded, needing to see her pretty, round eyes.
They were glossy and low once she placed them on me. Needing to soothe the embarrassment from her, I skated my knuckles across her cheek. Lovingly, I smiled. “I got you covered, girl.”
“Thank you.” She nodded, looking at the ground.
I couldn’t have her defenses down or depression sinking in to claim a part of her that it had no business owning.
Slipping two fingers under her chin, I said, “Nawl, we ain’t doing that.
We own where we lackin’. I ain’t here to pressure you, just enforce that you be a better you.
I’mma stand wit’ you whether you can grasp the shit easily or not.
To death do us ‘part, guh. I mean that shit. Tell me everything that I need to know. The good, bad, an’ ugly. ”
Horribly, Mona kept eye contact as she whispered, “Our parents intentionally screwed us over for disability checks. We never went to school. She told them, folks, she was going to homeschool us. The streets became our school. Our parents didn’t like to work, so they didn’t.
Daddy wanted to be wealthy like most of his brothers.
But God didn’t grant him the power to be.
Thus, the more thrown-off kids, the better.
All of us received intellectual disability checks.
We never saw a penny of that money. I want better for Azaria, August. So, I snipe your dick a lot so you can give her what I can’t.
The love for reading and the ease of comprehending.
She’ll be book smart like her paternal family, and street smart like her paternal family and me. ”
Needing to sit on her parents’ coffee table and slap a whip around their ankles, I rested my lips on hers.
Looking into her ashamed eyes, I whispered, “You smart, Mona. You survived yo’ parents’ home an’ the streets.
You can’t pronounce big words without someone speakin’ ‘em, but you up to par enough wit’ words to know when a motherfucka tryin’ to play you.
You gon’ read a book to me. I ain’t gon’ be silly August. I’mma be yo’ supportive nigga, correctin’ you when you mispronounce a word or stuck on a word.
I’mma tell you the meanin’ of the word an’ all.
Time to see why my family really love the fuck outta me.
We gon’ talk mo’. Fix yo’ face, Daddy got you covered. ”
“K.” She nodded slowly.
The time didn’t call for a long, slow French kiss. She didn’t need intimacy. She needed a protector, a leader. So, I kissed her tenderly while hugging her. After dropping several gentle kisses on her neck, I skated my nose around the tip of hers and said, “I’mma see you when we get back.”
“K. Be safe,” she voiced lowly as I pulled away from her.
“Always,” I replied silkily. “Always.”
As I stepped back, Mona looked up at me helplessly and choked up. “You have my phone and haven’t given it back to me. You doubted or are still doubting me, aren’t you?”
It wasn’t on my mind to return her phone. Too much shit was going on. Analyzing the woman shaking a little too hard for me, I exhaled sharply and nodded. I hated that I doubted her, but I was human. My heart had been dragged through the mud.
“Thanks for being honest,” she said, walking into our house full of life.
Watching her walk toward the hallway, not looking at the fellas, I confessed, “I don’t anymo’ Mona.”
“I don’t need anybody but you! I only hid what was going on because of my truth, but I’m fucking worthy, August Senior!” She choked up more, fingers twitching as she stopped walking and looked at the ground.
“Lift yo’ head, Mona,” I ordered, running to her.
When she lifted her head, I was in arm’s reach.
Gliding my hand down her arm, I said, “Yes, you worthy, an’ I understand why you kept quiet ‘bout those messages. However, I’m yo’ man, an’ I need to know everything.
I can’t protect you if you leave me in the dark.
Open yo’ mouth like you do when you wanna catch my nut. ”
“K.” She nodded, rocking back and forth.
“Go sit an’ gather yo’ thoughts. You’on look like the woman I met. That’s fuckin’ wit’ me,” I spoke, trying not to grit my teeth. Her motherfucking parents had to see me!
“Because you were never supposed to have met this woman. Go get your mom. I’ll see you when y’all return,” she said lowly before walking away from me.
I didn’t move. I couldn’t. Mona never let me leave her presence without kissing me and telling me how much she loved me. A new woman had landed in town, all because I hopped on her phone and ran across some shit that was bound to show its ass one day.
Watching a lowered-shouldered Mona walk down our hallway and wipe her face, Min scurried before me. Tapping urgently on my stomach, she whispered, “Look at me now.”
My woman’s shoulders dropped as she stopped walking and lifted her head.
“Not now, Min. I need to keep my eyes on her,” I said as Mona curled and uncurled her fingers several times.
“Look at me, please,” Min begged with urgency.
As I sluggishly dropped my eyes to the selfless woman, she whispered, “She’s complex.
Those sorry-ass parents of hers made them complex, especially her.
She’s the youngest but the prettiest of her sisters.
Her siblings depended on her. I don’t know what y’all spoke about, but I do know what her body language suggests.
I see you, and you are in a foreign land right now.
She’s going to scream. It’s going to be hurtful.
It will bring you to tears. It’s best not to touch her.
Just let her scream. When she stops screaming, she will get underneath that high-rise table and cry.
Let her cry until she stops. Something is eating at her …
something that’s been eating at her for a long time.
I don’t know what it is, but I’m certain her siblings do.
For sure, my parents know. No one will tell me.
So, I just watch her. Once she surfaces from underneath that table, she will be the Mona you met.
Silly, fun, full of smiles. She’s not fit to be around people.
She needs to purge her soul, August. She needs solitude.
We won’t disturb her. She’ll be in y’all’s room once she does what he body needs her to do.
Kingsley, Aleana, Ryan, and I will get the guest bedroom ready for your mother. Go pick up your first everything.”